Instantly, all movements ceased from the twins. They were standing so close to me that I could even feel that they had stopped breathing.
Were they holding their breaths? Did they even stop blinking?
I looked down at the hands I was still holding.
Corwin was to my right as he always was, and holding onto my right hand with his left, while Connor sat to my left, holding onto my left hand with his right.
Both their grips tightened at the same moment, as if they were one.
It was almost imperceptible, but I could tell that they were both sharing the same thoughts.
The pregnant pause continued for a few more minutes until Connor broke the silence.
"Are you saying that you don't want to choose? Are you going to abandon both me and Corey altogether?"
Connor gasped, as the tears that had threatened to fall, began streaming down his face. "Is neither one of us worthy of your love?"
I shook my head. "I didn't say that. I'm just saying...why do I have to choose at all?"
I closed my eyes, willing to say the words in a way that would come out right.
"I love you both equally, and I say that fully understanding what it means to love two separate individuals."
"But that would only work if we were to remain platonic friends with you." Corwin was distraught. "Are you telling me that you don't want either one of us as your life mate?"
"That's not what I'm telling you!" My voice rose with frustration.
In for a penny, in for a pound. I threw all caution to the wind. "This may sound greedy, but—I love you both. I want you both!"
I exhaled a slow, steady breath.
There, I'd said it out loud. The ball was back in their court and now it was time for them to decide what they wanted to do.
There was no other way to slice and dice this truth, and the truth was, I had fallen in love with both of them, and for very different reasons.
Connor gave me a quizzed look through stormy eyes. "I don't get you. What are you trying to say?"
"Connor, are you that dense?" Corwin asked.
He turned to his brother. "Didn't you just hear her say that she wants more than friendship, but that she didn't want to choose between us? What about that was particularly difficult to grasp?"
"Yeah, but then that would mean we…you…" Connor shook his head and closed his eyes. "Oh Lordy, I can't even imagine it in my head."
"Me neither," Corwin admitted, and they both fell silent although neither would let go of my hand.
The afternoon wore on without a truce being called by either twin.
Neither would concede to the other, and neither wanted to remind me of the fact that I had refused to pick just one.
As I accompanied them through the evening's activities, I was sorely reminded that they were both stubborn, powerful demigods who did not like to lose at anything, not even to themselves.
By nightfall, nothing had been decided and nothing had been settled. We were at a stalemate.
I went to bed, troubled and saddened by the entire situation.
I tossed and turned for awhile, unable to sleep. I tried to at least rest my eyes and my body by just lying still and not think about anything.
It was so nice to just be alone by myself for awhile after almost two weeks of traveling with a group of guys. But of course, as soon as I the thought popped up into my mind, there was a knock on my door.
I went to peek through the little peep hole.
It was Corwin.
I sighed and reached up to unlock the door.
As soon as I let him into the room, Corwin kicked the door shut and grabbed my right hand with his left, interlacing his fingers with mine.
I instinctively raised my left hand as buffer, pushing against his chest, but Corwin was consumed by some internal anguish and could not be restrained.
Backing me up against the door, he grabbed both my arms. Before I was fully aware of what had happened, he had spoken the Joining Command entwining my soul-band with his own.
"Huenhochilai."
Instantly, the metals fused as before but now that we had already exchanged a part of our souls, the feeling was completely different.
I gasped with pleasure.
In that moment, I knew why only married couples Soul-bonded.
It felt as if our souls were entwined…embracing.
The part of my soul that had been captured by him felt a thrill at being reunited with me, and the part of his soul that was in my soul-band was dancing for joy at being in contact with him again.
In that instant, the intimacy we experienced was far more profound than a mere kiss or even the full body contact of a sexual coupling, even though technically, we were only holding hands.
Wave after wave of mental and soulful tides of pleasure washed over us.
We stood there for a few moments holding tightly to each other. Not moving. Not saying a word.
The feeling was so intense we were barely even breathing.
I looked up into his face and saw his clenched teeth as if he was in pain. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his muscles were tensed.
He let out a harsh breath and looked down at me, his eyes filled with something between desire and loneliness.
"Are you ok? Does it hurt?" I asked.
He gave a short laugh. "Absolutely. This pain is acutely exquisite."
He lowered his head and reached up with his right hand, pressing it against his chest. "Ah woman, what are you doing to me? My heart aches so much."
One more moment of silence and then he gently lowered his head and leaned in to touched my lips with his own.
It was the faintest of touches. Barely touching at all, as if asking for permission.
We stood like that for three seconds.
And then he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into his body as he crushed my lips with his. He had given me three seconds to refuse the kiss and I had turned that refusal down.
Our soul-bonded hands gripped tightly, fingers interlacing. Meanwhile, our free arms were wrapped around each other but for different reasons.
I was hanging on for dear life because he had lifted me almost above the ground. He was using his free arm to support me so I would not fall to the ground.
I could feel his tongue reaching into my mouth, teasing, touching, probing. The feeling was so intense I saw stars in my periphery.
It could have also been that same repressed sexual energy that had caused my skin to crawl with electricity that night in the tent.
I never realized my mouth had so many nerve endings! The connection between our mouths were charged with so much electricity that my lips and tongue continually tingled with mini explosions.
This was not just my imagination. That roiling thunderous energy was visible and swirling around us with a vengeance!
He was exuding such powerful sexual energies that it was undulating and crackling around both our bodies, causing my hair to move along with the vortices of his power.
And now that the lights were on, I could actually see this energy movement encompassing the both of us.
So this was what it felt like to make love to a Storm Lord.