Yanni pov
"What are you talking about?" I ask, disbelief in my tone. I can't understand where this nonsense is coming from. Leave? Why now? It won't change anything that's already happened. I'm glad she actually told me her thoughts this time instead of running from me, so I don't want to chastise her too harshly, but I tell her in no uncertain terms how ridiculous her thoughts are.
"Yanni, all your lives have been turned upside down since you met me. Jesus, you nearly died for fucks sake!! That's all on me" she replies vehemently
Turning swiftly towards her I grip her upper arms and give her a brief, sharp shake, her eyes widening in perfect synchronisation with her mouth falling open in shock. "STOP! Right now. That's ridiculous Sydney and you know it. If there is any one person to blame for all of this it's Harry.
HE abused you.
HE killed Lola and Billy.
HE blackmailed Noah into doing the things he did, not you!"
She regards me closely for a moment then looks away from me, gazing past me at the impressive fireplace. She remains like that, just quietly staring at it over my shoulder, but the glaze over her eyes tells me she isn't really seeing it. It's almost as if she is looking beyond it. I wonder what she is seeing as she watches motionlessly.
I sit quietly and wait for her to come back from wherever her thoughts have taken her. I understand that the mind needs to process things in its own time, and in its own way. I'll wait for as long as it takes for her to do that.
A couple of minutes silently pass during which time I study the details of her face, committing them to memory. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever met, both inside and out. Light golden skin, a cute button nose with a smattering of freckles that I know she hates but I love, and twinkling cobalt eyes framed by long lashes. A few fine lines at their outer corners are evidence of her naturally sunny nature. They are called laughter lines for a reason. I feel myself smile at the images of her laughing now playing in my head and my eyes are drawn to her mouth. Those lips! Those lips are my weakness.
I'm imagining kissing them, tasting and biting them, feeling their pillowy softness against my own and hearing the sinful moans that escape them every-time she is aroused. She shocks me from my thoughts by rapidly twisting in her chair to face me, our knees now touching. She places her hands in my lap and squeezes my thighs. As if she had just been privy to my thoughts she leans closer to me and captures my lips with her own in a chaste and brief kiss before pulling away and holding my face in her soft hands.
"Yanni......" she begins softly. I place one hand over hers, the index finger of my other hand over her lips, silencing the words I feel sure are coming.
"You cannot leave. Reason number one is I love you and want you with me, Number two, the police have been told this is where we are and we have to stay here so they can contact us, and three, you won't be safe anywhere else, which is why we are here in the first place Syd" I bark, emphasising each of my points by raising my fingers one by one.
"I know all that Yanni. I don't mean to be dramatic, but I can't help but think this is all my fault." she reiterates sadly.
"Enough now ok! Let's get showered and have a nap, you'll feel better. We'll go down for dinner with everyone else later and discuss the situation together. How do you feel about seeing Mrs T and Ben?" I ask her, hoping to steer her away from the thoughts of leaving.
"Fine. I'm actually keen to see them both. Mrs T because I miss her, Ben because he might be able to help me to understand how I seem to know what happened to Lola" she tells me.
I stand, lifting her up with me and circle her waist with my arms, pulling her close and kissing her forehead before turning her around and shepherding her into the bathroom to clean up so we can sleep. A good rest can help clear the mind as well as recharge the body.
I wake with a smile a few hours later from a restful slumber that was filled with dreams of our future together. I stroke her cheek with my thumb and kiss her nose, whispering her name to wake her. We need to get ready for dinner and I don't want either of us to be drowsy so we can fully focus on the conversation being had.
We dress casually and make it downstairs for 7:45 and find Teddi, Parker and Noah already in the lounge, drinks in hand. Parker screeches excitedly and shoves his drink into Teddi's chest before sweeping Syd up in a crushing bear hug, swaying them from side to side and kissing her cheek.
Teddi has placed the drinks on the table and joins the hug, telling us how glad he is we are ok and how much he has missed us, and Parker apologises for not being around to support us before now. They put Syd down and they turn their attention to me, both hugging me tightly, making me wince. My wound still hurts if touched.
After some reassurance from me that the situation wouldn't have been different if they had been there they retreat and sit together on the couch, Noah perched precariously on the arm, sadness on his face. I want to hug him but I can't bring myself to do it, my anger at him outweighing my love for him at this moment.
Everyone else arrives together a few minutes later, and after lots of hugging and kissing all round we make our way into the dining room where what looks like a hundred dishes are laid out on the huge 12 seat table, 3 chairs on each side.
Eloise takes charge, corralling us into chairs with slick efficiency, organising is her job after all, it's what she excels at. I'm sat between Syd and Ben, Mrs T is opposite me with Teddi and Parker either side of her and Eloise is sandwiched between Noah and Vinni.
We all exchange pleasantries while placing food on our plates, catching up with gossip from home, listening to tales from Ted and Parker's visits home, and Vinni and Eloise's too.
We've been chatting for about half an hour before I feel it necessary to ask Syd to eat something. She has been pushing the same broccoli floret around her plate since we sat down and I'm worried about her.
"I can't eat Yanni, I'm really not hungry" She puts her fork down and looks past me at Ben who appears to feel her eyes on him and turns in his seat to look at her. Apparently the entire table has noticed and a hush descends.
"Ben, I know it will be hard for you to talk about because you have lost someone you loved very much, but I need to know what happened on the night Lola was killed. I keep seeing flashes of a woman on a bed with a man over her, holding her by the throat. She is pleading for her life, and I hear Harry's name mentioned. Please Ben, tell me what you know happened that night. I need to know if what I'm seeing is real, and if it is then HOW do I know that? I have no memory of meeting up with Harry. As far as I remember I hadn't laid eyes on him since the night I left him, so how could it be a genuine memory, right? But it FEELS so real! I'm going crazy trying to recall something.... ANYTHING that will help me make sense of it all. Please Ben! Help me. Tell me what you know" she finishes wistfully.
I push my chair away from the table and get up, stand behind it and gesture to her to move along into my seat to be better able to talk, which she does with a small smile and a whisper of thanks.
Once she is seated I suggest the rest of us leave to allow the two of them to speak privately. I'm not sure if it was the uncharacteristic softness of my voice, or the intense stare as I spoke that did it, but everyone nodded quietly and began to leave the room, Mrs T giving her son a kiss on the cheek and a wink as she passed him. I kiss Syd's forehead and top up both their wine glasses then head for the door.
"I'll be right next door waiting for you" I tell her with a smile, before closing the door behind me and heading into the lounge to wait with everyone else for this conversation to be had.