I laid on top of a half-dead Hyun-ki, cuddling his comforting circumference. I stare at his face like he's the most beautiful painting I've ever seen. He is the prettiest picture ever, though he's not awake. If he were to be taken from me, I'd want to keep this work of art in my memory and heart for the rest of my lonely existence. I fall asleep with thoughts filling my brain to the brim. The problem is...there is no brim, because I continue to drown myself in my own words - wondering how I'm still alive. Then I remember...Hyun-ki is the reason why I'm compelled to wake up in the morning, or after I've taken a nap from crying about him. A beeping noise awakes me from thoughts. Hyun-ki is flat lining!
"Somebody help!" I scream, attempting to force back tears. I dash out into the hallway to retrieve the nearest doctor.
"Please help me! My boy-", I shake the doctor's arm in urgency.
"It's okay, I got it", the doctor immediately runs into the hospital room and I follow closely behind. A physician assistant arrives 10 seconds later.
"He's flat lining!" The doctor informs the PA with seriousness in his tone.
"I'm sorry, but please wait outside ma'am", the PA demands with sympathy.
"I understand...just please...please save him", I nod and then exit the room in tears. I'm having a mental breakdown.
Why do things always happen to me? I just wanna die right now! If he doesn't wake up in the next hour or so...I'm gonna kill myself. I swear it. I can't live without him. He became a part of me when I bumped into him at the time someone was literally trying to murder me! He saved my life, and I can't even save his. I'm useless!
One unnecessarily long hour of waiting, I hurry out of the hospital in Wenowa. I drive to an unoccupied building, and climb to the top. There I write a suicide note.
I was never the popular girl, but I had friends. I couldn't be the prettiest, because there were prettier. I was smart, but there was always someone smarter. Then I met a man, not a boy, a man. That man loved me, and no one could make me feel better than he could. He was not the perfect guy, he was more than that. My universe...he was my universe, but now my universe is gone and he's calling me to him. I don't even know if I'm gonna see him after this, but it's better than feeling the worst pain in the world....a lost/forgotten love.
I stick the note in a nearby box. I had to pull all of my mental strength together to do this. Actually no, I waited until my mental strength was at it's lowest point. I start sobbing uncontrollably, but then a thought came to my mind...what if Hyun-ki is actually alive and is awake waiting for me right now?
I gradually step away from the edge of the building's roof in fear, but mostly out of my stupidity.
"I can't!" I brutally yell at the sky filled with stars.
I turn around and just as I'm about to leave...thoughts rush to mind like I was already dead, and these were my thoughts before I died. I couldn't take it. My heart hurts to the extent of how much a heart can possibly hurt. Without another thought, I dash over the side of the building.
I close my eyes wondering when I'll wake up after I fall. That's when I realize I didn't fall. Someone caught me.
I open one eye at a time, to see myself at the edge of the building being grasped by muscular arms. I immediately knew.....
"Ki?"
Sometimes in life we just need a hug to feel better. I needed Hyun-ki. His embrace to bring me to life. Standing here with his arms wrapped around me like I'm a small child that required protection, everything felt back in place.
"Hyun-ki?" I turn around in an attempt to view his facial features.
"I...I think so", Hyun-ki shakes his head from the pain.
"Are you still hurt?" I massage his forehead, and slowly move it to the right to see the bullet wound.
"Was I...was I hurt before? I don't remember", Hyun-ki stares into my eyes. At that moment, I couldn't recognize the man I love.
"Hyun-ki, how much do you remember?" I ask while forcing myself to hold back a river of tears.
"I remember waking up in a hospital room, but I can't remember anything else. Well...I had a vision that someone needed saving. It was...you. I feel like I probably know you, but it hurts to think right now", Hyun-ki explains still embracing me tightly.
"Hyun-ki...I'm-", I am interrupted by sounds coming from Hyun-ki.
"Owww, mmm", Hyun-ki squirms from his injuries.
"Hyun-ki? Are you okay? Hyun-ki?" I softly grab his face, and he passes out without an explanation.
"Oh no!" I panic as I search for my phone in my pocket to dial 1-1-9. 1-1-9 is the ambulance number in South Korea. That was the first thing I memorized when I moved here.
When I called, the ambulance said they'd arrive in 5 minutes since we weren't too far from the hospital. I gently propped Hyun-ki's head up on my lap as I stroked his shiny hair.
I sang him a song to calm his spirit, even though I knew he probably couldn't hear me. Maybe, I sang to stop myself from panicking. I don't know, but music always finds a way to make me feel safe.
The ambulance soon arrived, and I explained everything that had happened in the last 10 minutes, except for the part about me trying to commit suicide. It's not about me, and I didn't wanna make it so. I drove in the ambulance vehicle to the hospital, but only to tell Hyun-ki's unconscious body goodbye. I headed home shortly after in an attempt to clear my head. All that I can think about is...he really forgot me.