He gave me his answer much quicker than I had anticipated. 'Of course, I do feel that having her talk to me would be the better solution,' the message began. 'But I also know it would take some time for her to trust me, so it may not be the best choice. But anyways, I think the main point is to have her gradually get used to the exposure to needles. Yes, this does mean that we would be doing a bit of exposure therapy, but not immediately so don't freak out. Before all that, you need to make sure that she knows the medicine wouldn't hurt her anymore, since the painkillers have been adjusted quickly. Of course, her brain knows that, but her heart needs to believe that as well. When that is established, the exposure can begin. Slowly close in the distance and well, you might already know about this, but this can be spoken later. If she wasn't afraid of needles before, this may not come as necessary.'
"Who's that?" Catherine asked, seeing me look into my phone. Dawn looked at me as well, looking up from her plate, which seemed to have some sort of pasta in it. Looking a bit closer, it confirmed itself to be tomato sauce ravioli.
"Oh, it's…" I stopped myself, wondering how to answer without implying to Dawn that I was asking for help on her situation without asking her consent. "A friend of mine. He wondered what I was doing here."
"Is he the one that called out your name on the rooftop?" Dawn casually asked, seeming to believe me.
"Yeah, that's him."
"Then why is he added as 'Dr. Shaun Smith', may I ask?"
I forgot that I was sitting a bit too close to the mirror, which I knew from experience (don't ask) that Dawn could see anything. My phone screen just happened to be at the perfect angle to read off from. That was why she looked as if she was looking somewhere else when I said it was from my friend.
Now I had just confirmed that the message was from a doctor and that his being my friend was also fake. My brain worked as fast as it could, trying to think of a reason. "Well, you know I used to work for my uncle before, right? There were times when I had to come here to give him papers and stuff; quite often that you'd expect. So I met him quite often and we got close."
This was half-truth, half-lie; I had come to the hospital often enough, sometimes with my uncle's papers he forgot to bring, or just after school to pick up the USB that contained my workload for that week. However, I hadn't encountered most — if not all — of the doctors as the route I took was the same every time and it was around the time when most were busy with patients and/or their work. So Catherine wasn't able to say a thing, as she had never seen me before, and to her, we looked quite close already when we had met.
"Why did you save him as you've just known him, then?" Catherine asked.
"I do the same for everything. Even my uncle." This was true and Dawn knows this as well, through an incident that had happened while we were in our sophomore year of high school.
It was after school, and Dawn and I, with a group of friends, were going to the library to study or read for a while. It was nearing the exam season, probably around the beginning of the finals from the second trimester. My uncle sent me a message, asking when I was coming. He didn't mention home, as the days I go for my work are every Tuesday, set to stone(it was Thursday). I was about to tell him that I was returning around something near 5, and one of my friends had asked me if I'm seeing a doctor. I told him I didn't, so he asked me why I was chatting with one, then. So I told him he was my uncle, and since he already knew why I lived with him, he nodded.
All of my other friends, minus Dawn, were shocked and said that they had never seen someone write their uncle's name on the job in such a formal way. So I asked them if they had met someone with her family's full names written, and they all said, "Dawn." That was when I realised for real that her relationship with her parents was that bad.
The flashback ended, and I found Dawn munching through her ravioli and the rest of her dinner. Catherine was sucking on her latte, her eyes zoning out. "Did you have your dinner?"
"Huh?" Catherine asked, her eyes finally snapping back into focus. "Oh, yeah, I did. I think that might be why I'm feeling sleepy, or… I don't know. Tiredness has become more or less of a default state for me, I think. I keep thinking I need to reduce my caffeine intake, but the decaf ones just taste horrible."
"Then just get tea for something like that. That could work as well, you know."
"Oh, something like jasmine?"
"Uh, more like chamomile would be better, I think. Jasmine tea still has caffeine because it comes from leaves, not herbs or flowers. So something like rooibos or hibiscus is okay."
"But I don't like the taste… especially hibiscus. It tastes so sour."
"Then find some other caffeine-free options. All other teas from solely flowers and/or herbs are caffeine-free and probably don't have that distinct taste you don't like. But you do have to be aware that all tea tastes different."
"Yes, I know that. I just don't like the taste of those two, that's all." Catherine seemed to be quite deep in thought, so I just let her think and read the message thoroughly, trying to plan out what I need to do to help Dawn get out of this misery.
"I wonder…" Dawn suddenly began, surprising Catherine and me. "What would happen if we went to Hårga in 'Midsommar'?"
"What!" Catherine and I exclaimed, shocked by her train of thought.
"Say that I become the May Queen and I have to choose between you, Lucas, and one of the people of the village. Who do you think I will choose?"
'Midsommar' was a movie that we had both seen, quite a lot of people thought it was disgusting. I was one of them, but Dawn thought it was more of a healing movie. I had no idea why, but some of the reviewers had interpreted that viewing things from Dani's perspective would make people think it's more of a healing movie, kind of acting as a new beginning.
"Who would you choose?" I asked, getting a bit scared expecting her answer.
"I feel like…" Catherine spoke up instead, making me wonder why she was answering. "You would choose Lucas. I am a bit sorry I think of it like this, but Dani did go to the place when she was mentally unstable. I feel like if you went there now, you would want to stay there and become a part of them."
"What about you, Lucas?" Dawn asked, nodding at her opinion. She looked quite deep in thought after Catherine's comment.
"Uh…" I deliberated, trying to think about it. "I think… you would kill me as well, considering how your family was when you first saw that. But if it was now, I feel like you may have run away and become part of the sacrifice in the ending. Or maybe you would stay there without becoming the queen and continue living there."
"Who fits more? To the version you thought of?" Catherine asked.
"So basically, you're thinking of a very unstable version of me and Lucas, you're thinking I probably am a bit more stable than I was before, is that right?"
We both nodded at her comment and Dawn smiled, seeming to have decided. She then pointed at me with her hand, indicating I was the correct one. I was a bit shocked as I had said that believing Catherine's view was closer. I thought she had become about the same unstable state as when she came out to her parents and got rejected, especially after that incident with the pain meds.
My face must have conveyed how shocked I was as Dawn smiled and said, "You didn't expect that, right?"
I nodded and told her I thought she would choose Catherine. Dawn laughed a bit at that and said, "Well, there were some traumatising experiences, but I think I was able to hang on to a bit of sanity left mainly thanks to you caring for me during then. I probably would have gotten much more panicked than I was.
"And I also know you would try to convince me that things aren't too bad and help me as much as you can. I know how bad you are thinking about helping me with my situation, even taking steps to chat with a psychiatrist."
That shocked me. How did Dawn know Dr Smith is a psychiatrist?
"Oh, I just messaged your uncle and he told me who he was. And, I might as well add, he told me you have no acquaintance with him, as far as he is aware. However, he did add that he doesn't know quite a lot regarding your relationships within or outside the hospital."
I was so relieved when I heard that and Dawn's next words thankfully didn't shock me too much.
"However, I did ask your uncle to ask him if they know each other well."