How do normal people prepare for their days? Take a shower, have a cup of coffee, have some breakfast before leaving for work, or maybe rushing out of the house to drop of their kids.
I did none of the above this morning because today, I was getting married. I didn't have kids to drop off us school, I didn't have my morning coffee, the only thing I could afford was my shower and a touch of make-up. My mind was haywire and I was unable to process what exactly was going on in it. At this point, my father and I had lied to my mother that I was accompanying him on a short business trip, and after that, I would head to an island to get some rest from work and my busy life.
The magnitude of the lies was beyond, but we did it anyway. My mother was worried, but not about the fact that my father sold me off to another man, but that she wouldn't be able to get her treatment and live her luxurious life all at the same time. And don't be fooled, when I say treatment, I don't mean some chronic illness, but simply her special treatments to stay young and beautiful. Yes, my mum was fragile emotionally. She had been like this long before she married my father and had me. For a woman of average looks, or so to say mediocre looks, she wasn't very confident with herself and that had her shut down most of her life.
And to have me as a daughter made exceptionally difficult for her. I was as good as perfection when it came to looks. I had blond silky hair, long lustrous legs, a little bit too curvy and the face of a simply exquisite woman. My mother basically grew up in the shadows of other women, and now she growing up in the shadow of her own child, hence the surgeries.
Sitting in front of the mirror, while my hair was being fixed made me think back to my life as a child. My father was an intelligent man with an intelligent business that made him one of the richest men on our island, Nakoma. It was amazing. My childhood was a fairytale. My life altogether was a fairytale. Until now.
I thought strongly about how high school was like my egg, a freaking strong egg that I held onto until I graduated. I was the popular kid who was friends with the other popular kids and I dated the hottest guy there was. It's no wonder I grew up so self-centered. To add on to that, my mother tried to be the cool hot mum so much that it actually began to fit her. After lots of surgeries and corrections, she became the milf dime of the island and every other man wanted to at least brush shoulders with her. That didn't matter though, because the man she did it for, after giving her a child spent the rest of their marriage having extra marital affairs and gambling out most of his money.
None of the above was hidden from me, maybe that also what made me the way I am. Rude, unbothered and only worried about myself. My mother spent a lifetime making herself be the perfect fit for my father and he spent that lifetime showing her that it was an absolute waste of time. So why lower yourself for a man? Why change who I am only for him to dismiss it in the meanest way possible.
Sometimes I think, maybe if my mother loved herself a little more, my father would have loved her for that. But she didn't, so he didn't see why he should.
And that is exactly why I love Shane so much. He is so caring and soft and kind hearted and yet he puts up with me. I am far from deserving of him and yet here he was loving and supporting me. Letting me be the devil I can be and still appreciating me in the process. I did not deserve him. At all!
It made me now wonder what kind of man Lionel Campbell is (The man I was marrying today). It made me wonder if he was a little bit like Shane, or a little bit like myself, or worse, if he was just like my father. The possibility of either of them scared me. Because I would have to spend the next three months with this man, I was desperate to at least have a clue of his flaws and vices. That way, I would be prepared to duck if I needed to. But I sat on this high seat in front of the mirror clueless as to what he was like.
When eventually I was done, my father and I now took our walk in the building holding the central offices where we would sign our marriage certificate. My white silk dress hugged my curves so much that everywhere I walked, I left a man looking back at me like he was the groom. The slight tail behind the dress dragged through the marble floors and I could literally hear it as I moved. My heels were weirdly uncomfortable which was strange because in my world of fashion, heels were on of the main focus of an outfit.
I still didn't understand why I had to dress up for this sham of an event. I mean, I didn't have to buy my dress at least, because I crafted it alone but it still made this the more horrible to experience. I tried level hard to understand why the Campbell family wanted this wedding to feel so real. So real that the atmosphere around me only screamed wedding! Why were weddings so glorified anyway? Anyway I would have chosen cohabitation over marriage.
My father traced his steps silently as he walked next to me. He said no word, held no smile and generally showed no sense of feeling. Was this as hard for him as it was for me? I hoped so.
As we drew closer to the office, my body tensed up feeling like I was being sold. Which, in every aspect, I actually was.
We walked through the hall getting steps closer to the large door at the end of the hall and still I could not catch my breath. The staring I had gotten throughout the long walk were still very active, at least until we started to walk through hall which was now dead silent, as if I was walking down the aisle and my audience was quiet, waiting for when I got to the alter.
Upon reaching the door, my father quietly knocked on it and then immediately opened it.
We walked in and my father offered his greetings to the man that was directly in front of us.
"Levy." He called out. "I am pleased to see you."
"Likewise David. The pleasure is mine." The man in front of us spoke in response to my father. "I suppose this is your beautiful daughter." His smile was real but wry, I could not pick up on whether he appreciated my beauty or just appreciated that he was able to deceive my father this far.
I offered him a small smile trying to look around wondering where my groom was. I had never met any of these men, and that too made it much harder to do. My palms by now were slightly sweaty and my chest felt constricted. The room suddenly felt small and my body felt hot.
Just as I tried to put myself together, Levy Campbell stepped aside revealing the groom standing behind him as he smiled heavily. It felt like he was the bride in this situation because really, I should have been introduced like that.
My thoughts however trailed off at the semi god that stood directly in front of me.
His silky black and smooth long hair fell to his shoulder like he was in a hair cream advert. His eyes so green I got lost in them like I was lost in the most beautiful forest that ever existed. His magnificently built body stood out to at least, every man in the room and made me feel small. He was tall, his skin was so brown and looked so soft I wanted to bite on it. Right in this moment, I imagined kissing him why I either ran my hands through his silk hair, or pulled the hair while he touched me fiercely.
"Anna Sue." A soft yet deep voice called out. It was his soft voice calling me out with his hand reaching out to me. I hadn't noticed.
"Oh." I said coming back to reality.
I took a step forward and when I finally looked at his face intently, I realized he was wearing a beautiful smile.
"Let's get married. Shall we?" He said.