As we sat in front of the priest, listening to him ponder on our supposed vows, I couldn't help but feel insecure. Insecure with the people around me, insecure with the partner next to me and insecure with knowing that this was all a lie, but this faithful servant of God sat in front of us doing his part diligently.
In all honesty, I was very insecure with my partner because he was everything I wished him not to be, it made it hard for me. With him in my life, I would have to share a spotlight and I never ever got used to sharing a spotlight.
Lionel sat next to me calm and composed, holding my hand which was now getting sweaty, and yet, he did not let go of it, he held it tighter. The several attempts I made to get my hand out of his, did not work because he wouldn't let go of my hand. It made me incredibly uneasy, but I gave up on trying.
The 'I do's." were short and clean, he answered so fast as if he had waited a lifetime to make the vows. Mine was short and clean, yes, but with a bit of hesitation. My father during my moment of hesitation looked calm, like he knew I would say yes anyway. But I was afraid, afraid that I would actually be in this trap that he set for me for longer than I planned.
Immediately it was over, I rushed to the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach. I was leaving home, leaving my mother and my best friend and most of all I was betraying Shane. It all just fell on me and I realized it was a huge mistake. But it was a huge mistake I had already made and right now, there was no turning back from it.
"Wine?" Lionel said as we now drove to the airport.
"No thanks." I responded not maintaining eye contact with him.
"Oh come on Mrs. Campbell, a little wine won't hurt you?" His smile was bright, and infectious.
If I was weak, I'd have smiled right back. "Can you not call me that?" I said in irritation.
"But you are my Mrs. Now? Is that not right, Anna Sue?" He made my name sound so sexy. The way he pronounced it, the way he said it and just the way it rolled off on his tongue. Everything about him was sexy.
"Only officially. Because behind closed doors, I am quite far from your Mrs. I never will be."
"Your words don't fool me Anna Sue. I saw the way you looked at me when you first saw me and I see the way you look at me now. It's the way I have been looking at you too."
"Well news flash Lionel, don't let looks deceive you. Especially looks like come from me."
"But that's the thing, deceived or not, I like it. So by all means Anna Sue, don't stop." He was getting to me. But I wouldn't let him see it. "May I just point out just how sexy you look in your dress! Your curves come out just perfectly. Now I know why my father thought this a great idea."
"Your father is disgusting! And so are you!"
"I understand your anger Sue. I really do. But that's not mine or my father's problem. Your father has a debt to pay and he must pay up. So if it means marrying such a beautiful price will do it, then I'm game." His tone was actually serious. If anything I would believe that he and his father meant business, but I was still disgusted by it.
"Now Anna Sue," He continued. "Tell me about your business? I believe you are a fashion designer."
"Yes. I am."
"Do you have on your work?"
"Yes. I do."
"It's exquisite."
"I know."
He laughed. "You won't be able to keep that up for three months. We actually may have to get along."
"I didn't marry you to 'get along' Lionel. That's far from the purpose."
"So you think giving me an attitude will be a better option for you? While you and I live under the same roof?"
"Key word, roof, not room."
"Touche, Anna Sue." His laugh beamed through the big car we sat in.
By the time we got to the airport, I was irritated by his attitude. He was self-centered and seemed controlling and that was not my style. The three months with him would be long.
On the plane, I was glad I had my own cabin. Because I didn't need his company, no matter how nice it was to look at him and see him smile and see his lips curve as he spoke. I tried hard to constantly think of Shane, but to no avail. I already hadn't seen him in two months now and it fell heavy on me. All I could see when I closed my eyes was Lionel smiling at me.
The flight was one for four hours, which was too long for my liking. But I used the opportunity to actually sleep because I hadn't had enough rest since I had agreed to do this for my father. It made me think of the conversation I had with my best friend when I told her I would be leaving the island for a while.
'I've been thinking of taking a short trip away.' I told her carefully.
Jenna knows me so well that the sudden need to take a trip made her doubt my honesty, and she was right to do so. 'What for?'
'Just to pass time, to create some new designs you know.'
'Is this because of your father's crisis? Does it bother you a lot?' She asked seriously. 'Because you miss, have money of your own. I don't see why you should be taking that trip away.'
'I know that. I am just tired and need some time to myself.' I assured her.
'Honey what you need is to get laid. Why aren't you seeing anyone ma? That is so vital for that banging body of yours.' Give it to Jenna to always bring sex into the equation at all costs.
'Jenna, I strongly appreciate opinion about sex but I have had enough of it.'
'Honey you're 24. You haven't even started.'
'And you are 24 too so you need to slow down miss.'
We both laughed.
The good bye was short. She still didn't understand what the hurry was and showed me that she knew something was missing in my story. I still didn't bother to explain the complicated situation knowing very well she would not be in favor of it. But now, sitting here on this plane with Lionel in the cabin next to mine, I knew she would have been in favor just by looking at him. All the reasons for this marriage would have vanished into thin air.
Finally the four hours lapsed and we were finally on the island of Kras, where the Campbell family home was based.
I was already tired from the long flight here, but what made this worse was the heat wave I found myself in. This place was incredibly hot and no one else around me looked bothered by it other than me. It made me feel even more agitated.
Everyone was strolling around acting cool and excited like today was a good day. In my head, I was screaming loudly because today was probably the worst day of my life. Don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of bad days, but it's not every day that your father sells you to his fellow gambler because he is in a debt crisis.
Now, here we are.