"How long are you going to stay there, sleeping on your feet, Ulric?"
"Sorry, I was absorbing all of this. I wasn't expecting this conversation to go like this, Hilda."
"I really can't blame you for having a hard time processing everything, but I'd still like a straight answer to my question. Unfortunately, I don't have that long to wait for your answer, I still have to say goodbye to my family."
Unfortunately, Hilda is right, she only has a few hours before she has to leave with her team.
"I don't really have a plan in place Hilda, I think you should have one, but I can say with certainty that my feelings for you are strong enough not to disappear simply because we're going to part or because the way you seem to want walking is difficult. But I also can't say that my love for you is so strong that the rest doesn't matter if I share my life with you, so I can only say that I don't want this to be the end of our story, but I also think it's wrong. lie to you saying I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"I think you shouldn't be too different from me. So many months ago, I asked you to go out with me because you were beautiful, smart and your presence lit up my life, but I have to admit I didn't expect ours to last this long or for my feelings for you to be this strong, Hilda. Being exposed for so long to your presence made me fall deeply in love with you."
Looking at Hilda's beautiful smile really makes it harder to accept the reality that she wouldn't be able to see her for a long time.
"You make it sound like I'm some kind of addictive drug, but I understand what you mean. I also decided to go out with you because I thought it would be something fun to do, I wasn't looking for a husband or something of the weather, before classes started, I had a sketch of what I wanted to do in my first year of studies."
"It would be the year for me to focus on me, not my position as a noble or how I should achieve my goal after graduating. It was supposed to be the time of my life to make friends and probably get a boyfriend to have some romantic experience, I didn't think I would like you so much. I even had plans to lose my virginity and I wasn't keen on having such a strong love relationship with my partner, my aunt always tells me I shouldn't have high expectations about romance or men in general."
"I feel like she's not a big fan of romance?"
"She actually has a very negative opinion of most men, even my mother says she exaggerates a bit, but at no time did she say my aunt was wrong to warn me or complain about men's incompetence. But my aunt doesn't give up on men and has changed her target to a different type, so she's still pretty romantic, but she just knows it's not easy to find someone decent."
"I'm not decent?"
"I was lucky, Ulric, I didn't expect my first man to be one of good quality. I was well prepared to beat up my first boyfriend for being an idiot who decided to stop pretending to be a nice guy. I think it's all revealed now, but we still have to decide what we're going to do exactly."
"Before this conversation I had a little unusual plan, I want to end our relationship Ulric. I don't think it's such a good idea for us to stay together, even though we both survived this war the path I want to follow is pretty complicated and not the kind of path you'd want to follow. I would love to have you by my side, but I don't think we'd be really happy."
"Hilda, you seem pretty sure I don't want to have a life in mine from a handful of nobles who love to stab each other in the back, but even if I choose another kind of life, it doesn't mean I'm going to be happy or that I'm not going to run. danger."
"Calm down, I know it seems like I'm deciding everything myself, but I think we should end our relationship but not our relationship. We're friends too and I still feel like we can have a future together, Ulric, but not right now. Insisting will only fray and fracture our relationship, I think we should make a promise to meet in the future after we have had a good time."
"I will make my way to the top of both power and influence, whether you travel or whatever you choose for the next few years. When we are more mature and know who we really are and what we want out of our lives, it will be the right time to decide if we want to try to be together or not."
Seems like a pretty clever plan and I can see the logic behind it, but still I feel like my heart is being twisted.
"I understand your intention, Hilda, and I can't say this is a mistake because I can't think of a better solution, I have several worse solutions that will go wrong for various reasons. But even though I feel like breaking up is horrible I will accept your solution but I want to ask you how many years do you think it would take before we can try again?"
"Maybe thirty years? Or less than twenty? But if you want to meet me first, I don't think it would be too bad, and just because we're not going to be together as a couple anymore doesn't mean we're not friends or friends with benefits anymore."
"Now you've confused me a bit Hilda, looks like you don't want to break up now?"
I feel her pressing my arm against her body.
"I'm not too happy with this promise either, Ulric, but it's the right thing for us to do so we have a chance to have a good future together. But some rules are needed."
"Thirty years is a long time for us, not for warriors who are going to live over a hundred years, but I can't give you the certainty that I'm going to wait all that time to sort out my life, when I'm sure what I want to do I will. behind you, Hilda."
"You're an idiot."
"I know, but I'm your idiot."
"It is serious and necessary some rules."
"What rules?"
"We can't keep avoiding each other after the war is over, we shouldn't be investigating each other's love life asking our friends, Ingredi wouldn't heat the stress of it and finally we didn't lie to each other about not wanting to follow that promise anymore. "
It started out easy, but you got tough in the end, Hilda."
"I think it's wrong to keep the other tied to that promise if you fall in love with someone else. Just as I wasn't expecting to fall in love with you, Ulric, I don't think it's crazy for us during these years to fall in love with bulls' people, so we have to swear that if that happens to the point that one of us doesn't want to be together anymore, that person should speak to the other."
"Okay, I don't want to think too much about this, but if you think this is necessary, I will promise to abide by these rules."
We were silent for a long time; I don't want to let her go. Because the moment she gets up I won't have any more time with her before she has to leave.
"You have to promise me one more thing, Ulric, you mustn't die, ok?"
"Yes, I will not die. You can't die either, Hilda, you have big goals to accomplish this war won't be more than a stepping stone on your way to the top. If you need help, I will always try to be there to help you, we are 'friends' after all."
I feel her hugging me even tighter.
"You can also come and ask for my help, Ulric, don't let even a kind of stupid pride stop you from asking for my or my family's help."
"This is really a more realistic scenario, and we'd better get out of here soon. I don't want to steal all your time; you still have to say goodbye to Ingredi and the rest of your family."
"You're right."
But she didn't get up, we just sat there hugging each other for a long time.
"I have to go, Ulric, remember not to do anything stupid that puts you in unnecessary danger."
"I promise, Hilda, you should take hood too."
"I promise, Ulric, I will miss you."
Hilda leaves the room.
Alone in the dark.
We actually talked for quite some time; the sunset has already passed. Hilda shouldn't have much time before she has to leave.
This phase of my life has really come to an end, when the war starts, I will have no reason to go back to the institute other than to see my master. Until then I must have some plan of what to do with my life or where I should travel, there's no point trying to plan my life now, I'll leave that until after the war.
I stood at the window waiting until Hilda left the inn to look at her one last time. This is the first time I feel like a part of me has been torn apart, although I don't remember what my first death was like I'm still able to feel the pain that came with my death and it's far less than the pain I feel now.