While the guards are distracted me, Will and Varian make our get away.
We run.
We keep going until we are at Southwark Bridge and can finally breath in safety.
No one says a word until we get across the bridge and down Park street.
Our peace has been taken from us and instead consternation has taken its place.
Once we are on Park street my emotions cannot be kept at bay.
I stop on the street causing Will and Varian to turn.
'Why the hell did you guys stop me?' Sorrow flurries freely through as my Peter's face stays in my mind. His grunts of pain and my lack of power.
Varian approaches me.
'Erza you couldnt of helped him then. You would of died for nothing.'
I snap back with 'That wasnt your choice to make. I could of died trying which is better than standing around and doing nothing. How dont you of all people get that?'
Varian looks visibly struck before Will intervenes.
'Hey dont go lashing out when we were looking out for you. I dont want you ending up like my mum and dad Erza.' Will's eyes are in slits as his rage grows.
'Who says I would Will? I could of saved Peter which is enough for me.'
Varian stays quiet.
Will grabs my arms as he shouts.
'Erza we fucking need you. What is the point in dying now when we will save them ALL later?'
I shake him off and hiss. My powers growing. But I force them to subdue. These are my team mates I cannot lash out right now.
'Why do you need me exactly? I just want to save my friends and you stopped me doing it.'
'Okay so you save Peter but what about the others eh? You heard what he said he could do shit to them because of the interference.'
That stops me. He is right about that.
A sob heaves from my chest and I double over from the pain only to be catched by someone.
'I know how you feel Erza. I would of acted the same with my dad but Laith's plan will work better. We help more people this way. Think of Layla too. How would she feel if you perished there?'
Varian holds me as I sob. Guilt smothers me as I think of Layla's face. How would she feel.
Will pinches his the bridge of his nose, he is sick of the shit.
My sobs eventually subdue and Varian releases me.
'Lets get back.' Will decided.
Me and Varian follow him.
No one speaks as we make our way to the factory.
My mind is on Peter. His eyes. His voice. Even his power. They are the same but different he changed since I saw him which is disconcerning. Plus that Collings knew of me. What does he want with me? What has he done with the others? Panic seizes my heart and I chew my lip in earnest.
There is one thing I know for sure. I have to go on that mission to save them. Even if it means I take every mission they throw at me I will make sure I am ready.
By the time we reach the factory all three of us are dead walking. The day has taken its toll on us. As we step through the entrance people buzzing around stand still, taking in our appearances. Aibek looks concerned as he comes to talk to Will.
But I dont stick around to find out, I simply head to the stairs and to my room. I flop onto the mattress in my filthy clothes; too damn tired to care.
My eyes feel dry as bone begin to close before I can stop them. The last thought in my head is Peter. Him when we first met. Him as we fought together. Him today. I wonder if he is the same person or if he too has been changed irrefutably by the world.