My schedule for the past month and a half has been like this: 5am training, 7am breakfast,7.30 shower. 8am Flighter mission. Random fight during the day. 4pm Return. 4.30 Layla and me catch up. 5.30 Dinner. 6.30 My training time. 9.30 Spend time with Will and Varian. Then sleep.
Right now there is two and a half months to go till the Rescue mission. I am currently in my 6.30 training time that no one knows of.
I am currently in the process of transforming into a wolf which proving troublesome. I mean not only is a wolf structure different to a big cat there nose is more refined so whenever I get into a half form, its too much. My evolved nose frustrates me and I turn back.
First thing is the paws. The front paws of a wolf have due claws on the inside of the paw whereas the hind legs have no due paws and a smaller paw. Therefore more complex to visualise. Furthermore the joints on a dog are more set in place than cats even big ones so i wont be as flexible which my body doesnt like. Ugh the joys of these powers.
But I proceed Laith wont let me try the transformation yet hence why i secretly train. I see the wolf in my mind and without hesitation call on my powers. This is gonna hurt like a bitch. The cracking of my bones echoes throughout the training room and I grunt in pain. I am on all fours on the ground as my joints change and adapt.When all the bones are set my insides rip and tear into those of a wolf causing me to see double. By then the worst bit is yet to come; the skull. My skulls crack sending a scraping sound through me, my ears stretch and point upwards. The jawbone shifts until it longer and my nose is morphed to the end of it creating a pointy snout. My teeth grow and sharpen two fangs on the top and two from the bottom, a nice 2.5cm in size if my guess is correct. Last but not least the familiar itch covers me as fur grows and spreads across my body. I am in full wolf form.
I test out the form after a few minutes ensuring my bones have efficiently set, I begin to walk. My instincts kick in as I walk nose to the floor a vast contrast to the raised heads cats walk with. The scents coming in are denser and easier to read. I smell Laith from earlier. Will in the studio moulding clay. Varian all the way in the experiment rooms.
I leave the training room and my ears twitch at the noises around me or should I say through out the factory. As I pop my head in the Art room the smell of paint overwhelms me and has me whining involuntarily which breaks Will out of his concentration.
Will gapes his mouth agape wide with shock. 'What the fuck?'
I pant in response before tottering over my harder claws echoing on the floor.
'Wait you managed it?' Will strokes my head without permission I may add.
'Just now. Although its a long process till I can use it in the field. I have no idea how to utilise my smell yet let alone a howl?'
Will nods but continues stroking me, so as a joke I growl.
Will flies off his chair in fright before laughing at his own actions.
I laugh too although Will tells me it sounds like a barklaugh.
I transform back slowly but surely trying to avoiding permanent damage which is always the case in new forms.
My power recedes back within me and I slump on a stool as my purple curls are splayed wildly around me. I look like I got dragged through a bush right now im sure.
Will hands me some clay and I mould it into a wolf but this time its me as a wolf. The new form I passed set in clay I bet Layla will love it.
'Times passing quickly now E. Are you nervous?'
I freeze not expecting Will's question.
'Yes. Thats why I am training so hard while I can.' I push the clay between my fingers and enjoy the distraction.
'I understand that but dont overdo it okay?' Will says with caution.
I meet Will's ocean coloured eyes and see fear.
'I wont get myself killed Will. I promise.' I mean it.
'I am glad to hear it. After the Peter situation I was worried as was Varian though he wont admit it. We care about you now.'
The sincerity in his voice leads me to place a hand on his forearm from across the table, just as reassurance.
Will tenses but relaxes momentarily.
'Listen Erza I dont fight like that but if you want me by your side I will ask Laith to put me on the team for it.'
Dread pierces me. 'No. Thats not necessary.' I say hurriedly. I cannot worry about another friend dying.
Will waits for me to continue. 'I would prefer if you stayed here with Layla in safety. Plus Varian would kill me.'
Will is the one who freezes this time.
'Why on earth would Varian kill you? He knows the risk as he is going.'
Oh fuck. Shit. Bastard. I should not of said that. Now Varian may actually kill me.
'I mean your his friend right?' I state nervously.
Will looks at me with sceptism.
Will doesnt take his eyes off me for a second. 'What do you know that I dont Erza?'
I shake my head in a jerk motion defiant I will say no more.
Will's demeanor hardens.
'Erza either you tell me or I read your mind. I wont have anyone knowing anything about Varian that I dont.'
Brilliant. I sigh deeply before responding.
'Varian is in love with you.' I whisper but Will heard it alright as he grimaces.
Will raises his hand to his hair shakily and I can tell he is in distress.
'Its okay. Just tell him your not gay.'
Will looks at me and awkwardly grins.
'Its not about not being gay Erza. I am asexual so I dont feel sexual attraction to anyone or thing.'
Well thats something. I am dumbfounded. I had never even heard of asexuality till now.
'Oh well you could still feel love right?' I offer.
Will brushes a hand through his hair clearly uncomfortable.
'I see no point in relationships when our people die everyday to be honest.'
'I get that Will. I am never having kids.'
'What about that Peter dude...your guy right?'
My breath catches causing me to wheeze and bang on my chest.
'Nothing like that. Once we rescue him my connection with him dissolves.' I grimace at the thought.
'Dissolves? I dont think so. I saw his smirk at the scene Erza. It wasnt a look of a guy who didnt care.'
'After what I did Will. Complex doesnt even cover how our relationship will be to each other.'
Will spreads his arms.
'Or your getting a chance Erza. Look how far you've come for him and the others. Cut yourself some slack.'
Will may have a point but I dont want to admit that.
'I dont think Love has a place for me right now Will.'
Will places his hand on mine. 'Save his ass then decide later.'
I chuckle and nod.
Love for people like us is out of reach until the world changes. When our people get rights. Own our houses. Even get served in a shop. Then Love can have a place.
Question is can that ever happen? If so when?