'When you're older, perhaps you will understand this feeling.'
Lucas recalled the words of the person who had looked after him since he was younger. 'I never asked him if he was my father or not.' They did not look alike; the man had spiky white long hair and wore white and blue robes. He did not look like a mage from his household, and yet that guy remained there for so long, so Lucas guessed that he was a valuable person.
People in the household showered him with much attention and praised him greatly.
They spent a lot of time together, and that guy helped him control his magic. But at some point, he surpassed him and no longer needed his help. The last time he talked to him was during one of the grand ceremonies.
'When I proved I was stronger than him, the adults stopped showering attention onto that guy. I saw the looks on their faces.' But those looks were not pleasant. They started to treat him the same way they did that guy.
For the first time in his life, he felt genuine disgust. It did not take him long to figure out the reason why. That guy who was always with him must have previously been the strongest mage in the household, but after that ceremony, it was him.
'I was busy a lot with official duties and other stuff, but when I did see that guy, he was in an awful state. I found him begging to increase the amount of food, but the servants just scoffed at him and threatened to take away his meals for good. We made eye contact, and he said something to me, but I could only stare.'
That guy was already pale, yet unlike the last time they met, he was paler, skinnier, and with his mana levels, something was strange about them.
'Hey young Lucas, I hope you are not too busy. If you ever need assistance feel free to call me. I would like to chat like we used to, but I understand how things are.'
Understood how things were? Lucas recalled wanting to say something, but the servants pushed him away quickly.
He saw the guy around a few other times, but somebody would stop him whenever he tried to go over.
The next time, he finally learned the guy's name. Rudolph Ajha, 'the greatest mage in history.' The name was written in one of the books he was studying. It seemed his tutors forgot to censor this book. He already knew they limited the information they gave him, but he did not pay much attention to it.
But when he saw that name for the first time, he felt an odd emotion and rushed to find him; however, it was far too late.
'What I saw in his room was him hanging from the window, dead.'
Why did the greatest magician in history commit suicide? Is it because he surpassed him? But did that matter? Even if he was stronger, Rudolph was still a great mage. They could still use him, so why did his household treat him that way?
He grew tired and weary of the world after Rudolph died; he did not inform anybody when he left the mage village.
After he met Lillian and got to know her, he told her this story, and she simply laughed and said. 'I didn't think you were naive.'
Naive huh? Perhaps he was, but this was exactly why he was treading on a thin line regarding his feelings towards her. He does not want Lillian to laugh at him and call him naive again. He does not want her to think that he is the same as those disgusting nobles.
"If that is how you feel, sir Lucas, then I believe you should tell her."
"Huh? Didn't you hear what I said just now?"
"I did, but all of it sounds like a huge excuse. If you love somebody, you shouldn't let those things restrict you."
"You sound so certain, but I don't see your husband with you, miss Empress."
At those words, Zushi flinched and exhaled deeply.
"I guess I should tell you since you gave me advice." Lucas trailed off. "But Lillian found your husband, around two days before the coronation ceremony."
Zushi's eyes widened, and then they dimmed. "What was she trying to do?"
"It is a good thing your smartening up. No, she didn't find him to present him as a gift to you during the coronation. She locked him up in the torture chambers immediately after all." Lucas trailed off. "When she was about to go down and interrogate him, he was not there."
"Huh?"
"It seemed somebody rescued him. You should know him very well; it's that young newspaper boy."
"Is that why she tortured the child because the child helped my husband escape?"
"Yes."
"Why does Miss Lillian do that-" Zushi shook her head, and she clenched her fist. "No, that is a stupid question. But, I wish she would choose another option."
"It is not like Lillian doesn't consider other options. But don't you see what kind of environment she lives in? She has no choice. If she displays a single act of kindness, she will not last a day."
How can the Empress possibly understand what Lillian is going through? Lillian has to live in fear every single day; if she slips up, a knife can be at her throat that very same night.
"But she is so strong, surely-"
Lucas shook his head. "Even the strongest person will fall at the face of dirty tactics."
'This is why Lillian seldom sleeps. Lillian understands better than anyone how defenseless people are when they are asleep. It is easy to use dirty tricks and tactics."
"You may find this strange, but Lillian works hard to be the cruelest person she can be, just so she can predict every single trick." Lucas trailed off. "Just how you put in the effort to take care of your son, Lillian does this to ensure her own survival."
It is not like he does not understand where the Empress is coming from. There was a time where he had the same thoughts as her. He even argued with Lillian about it, but that girl told him with that same pained smile on her face that this was the only way.
It was the same expression on her face when he asked her about her fiance.
The only way, huh? Lucas recalled her unusual behavior recently. He wonders if her unusual behavior has anything to do with that guy.