A time has come for the very first entry in the last several days.
While I'm well aware keeping a proper journal during such expeditions is extremely important, it doesn't mean it's an easy task for me. After all, I'm just your everyday mechanic, coming from a family of farmers, and not some kind of novelist or journalist.
Back when I was just a kid, I would've never expect that tinkering with the machines will make me chosen for such an important mission.
Because expedition to New Gaia, which is the humanity's hope and our possible new home, should be considered important, right?
On the paper, when signing the documents, I thought everything looked perfect, especially the salary. But with time, it started getting worse. And I don't mean the money became the issue or conditions were bad - nothing of the sort. It's just that, from the very start, we were facing way too many problems, even losing the staff, our colleagues, our friends.
Obviously, faults are a common thing in the life of a mechanic, but complete breakdowns not so much. And the last failure was the worst thing possible to happen so far.
Following a successful exit from the jump, Future ended up too close to one of the system's planets, falling into its gravitational field. When that happened, I knew things will start to go south.
John was of the same mind and tried to do everything he could to take us out of this trouble. We even landed on this dead planet and were close to not return back to ship. Unfortunately, despite our efforts, further flight brought more tragedies.
The ship, deemed humanity's pride, even called an ark by journalists, did not hold through this situation well. Of course, I'm pretty hard on this evaluation, because Future was not destroyed, but brought to the brink of usability. We sure are lucky the ship was designed to allow a swift evacuation.
Sure, not everything worked perfectly during the evacuation and there were some people who did not manage to reach the pods on time, but majority left safely. Too bad our target planet did not welcome us with open arms. I've never seen such things in my whole life.
All these trainings and lectures we've been through were supposed to prepare us for what we were going to experience once we arrive, but - for fucks sake - what we faced in reality was way too much.
After landing, I thought I ended up in some kind of a warzone, and I'm just a friggin' mechanic, not some kind of experienced soldier. I've never been to war, never experienced such a situation - I grew up far from conflicts and dangers.
Now, that I think of it, I'm lucky growing up in such a place. Back on Earth, I didn't end up in any similar circumstances, seeing war and terrorist attacks only in news feeds, and through his father, who always wanted to be up-to-date with news from all over the world.
I can still remember how much pressure he was putting on being aware of what is happening outside your farm, state and country, because you could never know when potentially small conflict may grow into something big.
In his youth, my father traveled a lot, and also served in army. He never talked about details, but surely saw a lot through his whole life. He most likely wanted me to know how lucky I am to grow up in peace, without having to fear for my life or food.
Today, while I'm not happy about the fact, I can tell how hard the life can get. I grief for all those who died during this expedition, but also for those who lost their lives in Earth conflicts, because I understand this much beeter now.
Only after I have joined this expedition, I learned how fragile the human life is. Whatever tomorrow brings, I will fight with my whole might to survive, but also to protect others. I didn't travel a route this long, reached a new world, just to give up.