Looking at the backs of the people that I had once trusted is the most painful thing to see.
I snort air as I watched them lived happily ever after. Why are the princess only allowed to find happiness?
It's always the pretty girls. Sigh. If only I was blessed with both beauty and grace. I held the books tighter as I looked at my feet. Hearing their whispers and giggles, do they think I'm deaf?
This is so frustrating and saddening at the same time.
"Hey Byul!" I hear a voice, looking up I see unfamiliar face, "Sam wanted to see you, she's at the rooftop."
They took one last disgusted look at me before turning around. I clenched my teeth tightly and gripped the book's as if my life defended on it.
Just what have I done to them?! Do they not realize that it is not in my control over how ugly I come out of my mother's womb?!
I released a heavy sigh as I opened the door to the rooftop. There Samantha and her friends laughed in pure bliss.
I lowered my gaze and gripped my skirt walking up to them, "Samantha did you need something?" I timidly asked.
She and her friends let out a small laugh as they stared at my smaller figure.
"Oh we were just very thirsty," she started standing up from her spot, I slightly cowered away as her golden brown eyes taunted my raven black eyes.
"Piggy do us a favour and might as well jump from this height." She laughed throwing a bunch of their homework on my face. I covered my tan face with my arms, I've always been quiet about everything but why do they treat me like this?
....
I tiredly opened my door, I was suddenly greeted by my mother's nagging.
"your teacher called!" She yelled "your grades are so low! why can't you be just like your brother!"
gosh it hurts so much, why do they have to compare me to brother everytime?
"I'm sorry mom," I quietly apologized as I escaped from her scolding to enter my safe haven.
My bedroom.
this is the only place I felt welcomed, the only place I felt safe. My bedroom was everything to me. I pulled my jacket off of me, struggling a little as it is a little smaller than my size.
I never complained about anything, because if I did I'd just get my feelings invalidated.
I plopped on my bed and stared at the ceiling whilst positioning myself wide like a starfish. A single tear rolled down my eye as I wished for anyone to save me.
I felt my eyes slowly closing, I can hear my mother pounding on my bedroom door as she screeched and demanded for me to come and eat immediately.
"so noisy..." I whispered, "let me be..."