"Yes, Ren. Whatever you want…" Haru said in the end. And that night, he once again took Renji's grip between his fingers. Feels warm. Very warm. Even so, everything was perfect after they were sex together until almost one o'clock in the morning.
Haru panted. His breath was still flowing aimlessly as Renji lifted his chin gently.
"Are you tired…?"
"Yes…"
"Liar."
Haru's petals fell slowly over time.
"Please… I'm sleepy…" Haru complained. He hit Renji's shoulder which was already slick with sweat. "Can we continue next time? You can touch me anytime, can't you…"
"No."
Haru complained but didn't fight back. He looked resigned after that. Just lying down, frowning and trying to catch his breath.
"Tch…"
Renji was annoyed and suddenly moved again. Haru flinched in surprise but only screamed for a while before giving Renji a scratch on his shoulder. Ten minutes later… Renji just let go of the man in one fell swoop. He is angry. Instead of giving him the last kiss or hug during his sleep, he just sleeps with his back to Haru.
In fact, who is cruel to whom?
If this was a scene in a comic, Renji's character would have been cursed by readers. They didn't know that at two in the morning Haru opened his eyes and slowly inched to the edge of the bed. He reached for each scattered piece of clothing carefully. As much as possible not to make a sound that would wake Renji up.
After two minutes of casual dressing, Haru doesn't even use his floor sandals just to get out like a thief.
"Don't go," Renji said. The one holding his left hand still with his eyes closed. Haru who was about to take the phone on the nightstand immediately froze in place.
"I said I knew you were lying…"
Haru took a deep breath. Already found out, just go into the firebox. "Ren, don't be like this…" he said. He crouched down in front of Renji and gently stroked the man's neck. "I have to go home now, understand?"
"Not at all."
Renji instead brought Haru's hand close and kissed his palm a few times.
Haru looked confused. His caress moved to Renji's hair. "I like how spoiled you are," he said. With a suppressed faint smile. "But not now, okay?"
"When?" Renji asked. This time his eyes opened slowly. "Don't you always get to play around?"
Haru's wry smile was released. "Yes, I should," he replied with a look of regret. "But this time my wife needs me."
"I see," Renji muttered. "I think it's because your second child also has a birthday."
"Of course not."
"So what's wrong with that woman?" Renji asked. "Doesn't she know you're mine?"
Haru was excited. He hugged Renji's head to his chest. Regardless of the smell of sweat emanating from their bodies, he knew Renji wouldn't complain in the slightest.
"I know. I know. But after yesterday's party she told me she had an ovarian cyst," Haru said quietly. This time there were no more skits or anything. "She has to undergo surgical removal tomorrow morning, Ren. I can't bear to leave her alone. Moreover, Sheila and Sherly are not being watched by anyone. The two of them just slept on the inpatient couch and wandered around the hospital as soon as I left after you."
"Oh… so besides being fertile she is also sick at the moment?"
"What?"
Renji grabbed Haru's hand which he had kissed before. Keep the man from leaving. "And 80% of your time is spent with me. How come she always gets pregnant every time you fuck her?"
Haru was at a loss for words.
"Ren, I didn't mean—ah…but didn't I—"
"So sorry you got married when I got home from California," Renji said. Then laugh. "Haha… why is your life in such a hurry, hm? Didn't that woman see you were young before?"
Haru gulped. "Didn't I tell you it was an accident?" he asked rhetorically. "So don't start again…"
Renji looked into Haru's eyes. "You don't want another blood test?" he asked. "That woman could be lying to you."
Haru shook his head. "Where there is," he said. "I've even donated blood for Sheila. Then how did Sherly come to be suspicious of you?"
"Instinct."
"Just instinct?" shocked Haru. "You think you're a beast to the point of having accurate instincts?" he said without thinking. "You know . . . I can't completely ignore my wife. We're married. And she's allowed me to stay with you. If I don't make love to her every time I see her, how can she survive until now?"
Even though he was given understanding, Renji still snorted. "That's great . . . now you can't leave her even more."
"Ren…" Haru muttered. He looked very, very troubled. In this situation, even petting Renji was scary. "Maybe you just need a vacation, hm?"
"So."
"Yes. The doctor said you were too stressed to not feel that way," Haru said. "So with a vacation, your eating mood will get better and your heavy thoughts will go away."
"So."
"I'll arrange your vacation schedule," Haru offered. Persuade. "Where? Overseas again? Or just domestic .."
"You will accompany me?"
Once again, Haru took a deep breath. "Of course not, Ren. But I'll still have two tickets ready," he said. With a tone of the speech made as tolerant as possible. "Wouldn't if I go you can be with the prostitutes? I can arrange the rental at once."
"Boring."
Haru also ran out of persuasion ideas this time. He glanced briefly at the clock, which was almost three o'clock, then at Renji, who was still awake.
"Don't start again…" Haru said. "You know what? This attitude of yours, now, can make me think."
"Better…"
"I love you, Ren. Do you believe it?" asked Haru suddenly. He was already blushing even though he only said it once. And even though Renji already knew his feelings… it was still embarrassing. Even though he had never been like this to his wife until now.
"Of course."
"But, I'm sorry," Haru said. "You can have me again once the surgery goes well. Maybe five days. Give me time until it's completely over."
Renji gripped his hand even tighter. "No," he said firmly. "Once not always no."
"Please…" said Haru. This time his voice began to shake. "Just this once… this is the first and the last, how about it?"
"Jean's gone, Haru," Renji said. "Now it's only you here. So it's me or your wife. Choose one."
DEG
"W-What?"
Haru's expression immediately brightened.
"You got my question, didn't you?"
"Wait—no!" Haru muttered in panic. "You or my wife…? Ren, please… you can't do this to me. It's not just about the two of you. But the kids need me too."
"Even if you don't love them?" Renji asked rhetorically. He looked back for answers from Haru's eyes. "Even if the one you love is me?"
Haru's eyes started to heat up. "Could you not make this more difficult?" he asked. "Can't we just go on as usual… I promise you can use me as much as you want after this."
Renji was silent for a moment, before releasing his grip. "I've got the answer," he said. Make Haru can't think. Then shed tears unconsciously. "You can never leave your family after all. That's right, isn't it?"
"Ren…"
Haru approached, Renji refused.
"Don't touch me."
Immediately Haru felt slapped, though not. "Renji—"
"I said don't touch me!"
Haru didn't think so. Renji stared at him this time. The man even sat up and pushed him hard.
"Ren, I'm sorry…" Haru said. He wiped the tears with the back of his hand even though he had never been insulted like that before. "But now I don't understand what you want…"
Haru also took his cellphone and car keys before leaving. He paused for a moment in front of Renji and seemed to want to hug him for a moment. Unfortunately, the fear is bigger and it doesn't happen.
"Then take care of yourself," said Haru. "I hope there's no worse news once I get back."