"Hi! My name is, well, was Evangeline. Apparently I am currently nameless, according to SYSTEM laws anyway, but I digress. 'What's the SYSTEM?' I hear you ask (or not, but I'm gonna pretend you did). Well, to explain that, I suppose I should start at the beginning.
"You see, I'm not originally from this world. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, imagine how I felt when I got stuck here! Anyway, I'm not from this world, I'm from a place called Earth, great place, lots of people, VERY busy. I wasn't particularly famous, or incredibly smart or talented - I was just on the good side of average, if I do say so myself. Went to college, then university, got a degree - pretty normal stuff.
"Then I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a tumour in my brain, I don't know if you know what that is but it's basically a lump of flesh inside your head. Unfortunately for me, it was very fast-acting, and I was told I only had about 6 months left, the latter half of which would be unbearably agonising.
"Over the following weeks, I got worse and worse headaches, often feeling bouts of dizziness and nausea, which ultimately led to my death, as I will now explain."
As I rolled out of bed, dragged on some clothes and made my way to the front door, a wave of depression washed over me. What was the point of living if you already knew your expiration date? What was the point in continuing on, when you knew almost exactly how much time you had left? Yeah. Cancer sucks, BTW.
Stumbling down the stairs of my flat, I reached the ground floor and exited the building, cold air blowing pleasantly through my messy hair. I only really needed some milk, so instead of going all the way to a big supermarket I decided to just go to the corner store at the bottom of the road.
On my way, though, a deluge of dizziness crashes int my brain, and I stumble forward. My vision blurry, I hear horns blaring and look up to see a dark object nearing me at a tremendous speed. I feel a sharp impact, and the last thing to go through my mind before darkness takes me is 'well... so much for knowing your expiration date'.