I've come to the conclusion I'm doomed to be the gatherer of village outcasts. While Fadewind seems socially stunted, Gretna makes sloths look energetic. Its been a week since she moved into the dungeon, outside of moving her things into my halls she does nothing else. Fadewind is hardly a dungeon master and more her slavering minion. The most she does is sate the kids lusts every few days but even that is a quick encounter before she kicks him out to tend the stolen beasts.
Fadewind has done little else but tend to Gretna. Even his chicken hoarding came to a stop as he was focused on keeping the few sheep and goats they took, alive. With chicken flesh off the menu he's taken to hunting game. Despite being an eccentric idiot, he has proven at least, to be a capable provider for his woman. The question still remains what he sees in her, love is blind but in this case love is blindfolded and beaten around the head a bit if he can't see the half orc is using him. But that's not my problem, what is is how mundane life in the hall had become. Am I not a dungeon? Why am I being treated as a house and barn?!
Worse still, I cannot even communicate my displeasure to my "owner" and his fugly wife. This is probably the worst part of being the dungeon, neither my existence nor the system seems to warrant the ability to speak to the dungeon master. Even the skeletal chickens seem completely oblivious to my presence. I really just want to form a stone fist, grab Fadewind by the neck and slap him around a bit. He's a necromancer! A dungeon master! Yet Gretna seems to be the true owner of the domain and despite her covetous looks she's been shoehorning the 'boss' into a role as home provider.
Honestly I have no idea what either sees in the other. Feeling depressed I watched Fadewind scurry off into the outside world as usual, he'd not be back until dusk which meant watching Gretna play hide a random finger in a random orifice all day... or not? Seems she's on the move today. She waited until hubby left and I can see her heading out as well. I really wish I could see beyond the lair, not being an entity of motion leaves me unable to do anything.
After some time passes, I know not how much, I don't have a clock, I'm only able to guesstimate days by Fadewind's sleep cycles, Gretna returns. Hrm, she's not alone. Leading this new figure by the hand I'm rather taken aback by what I see. Towering over her a bull headed man follows her in. Much like Fadewind this thing is dressed in simple overalls which leaves much of its muscular chest and arms bare. Its horns scrape the ceiling so it has to be careful coming in. Hrm... what's she up to?
Oh.... my.... God.
So thats what a bull french kissing a pig would look like. Oh hell. Oh gods make it stop! Stop it Gretna don't drop the hide covering! Too late... and there goes his overalls. Holy shit is he part horse too? Gods above I wish I could turn off my vision. The minotaur has her bent over on the ground and is going full tilt against Gretna, it seems she enjoys having her lower organs violently rearranged. Oh fark my new life.
Its been a few hours, honestly I'm surprised Gretna is still breathing. I guess this minotaur has been pretty backed up cause Gretna now resembles the victim of a ghost attack. White slime covers her body (which while disgusting might also be a god send in hindsight) they are still going at it. If Fadewind could see her... wait... is that Fadewind there by the entry? It is! So he's been watching his wife get, for lack of a more descriptive metaphor, literally fucked silly?
Man, I knew you were sad but come on, what kinda sick bastard enjoys watching himself get cucked? Wait... something is wrong here, he's not touching himself to this, he seems to be waiting for something. Whelp another hose down of Gretna and the minotaur finally seems spent... and there's Fadewind moving! I can only watch as the lanky little necromancer sneaks up behind the minotaur laying on Gretna messed up body, what I mistook for him rubbing himself was in fact a knife. As Gretna wraps her unsuspecting lover in her arms Fadewind finally strikes! The blade slides almost effortlessly through the minotaur's throat. Blood rushes from the wound to give Gretna beneath a grisly crimson coating as she holds onto the thrashing bull man.
Fadewind falls back shaking, butchering livestock is certainly different than committing murder. The minotaur movements begin to lessen, its angry grunts less audible as its life bleeds out. Its finally over with a crisp DING from the dungeon assistant.
{ Congratulations! Terrance the Minotaur, Level 3 Farmer has died in your dungeon! Gained 750 energy!}
On one hand I'm rather shocked that these two actually premeditated something like this. I honestly didn't see it in Fadewind... and to be honest its clear he didn't either. The kid is shaking staring at the rich crimson on his hand. Gretna is cursing, ordering Lawrence to help get the dead minotaur off her. These two honestly conspired to murder someone in the village, sure it meant Gretna whored herself out as a distraction but now they accomplished something... and Gretna has an alibi when she starts ballooning up. Pretty clever. But why kill this villager? Sadly that answer became readily apparent.
Seems during their last session Gretna had become a little interested in Lawrence's alternate class. She had reasoned if he could animate chickens then he could probably raise something larger... say an animalistic humanoid. She had figured Terrance was a little backed up what with his wife pregnant and rather worried about his horse like attributes. She'd lure him in, tire him out and Lawrence would finish the job. Now it was his time to shine! Gretna was wiping herself off while Lawrence was looking rather crestfallen that his necromantic fetish was about to be sullied on a bovine undead.
To be honest, I was rather curious to see if Fadewind had it in him myself. I mean since I met him all he raised were skeletal cluckers, was starting to think that was his limit, but if Gretna was right perhaps my lack luster dungeon master only needed a push to jump start his rise to infamy. Yet what he did next reaffirmed my belief that he was the village idiot. Fadewind was trying to de-flesh Terrance. Gretna was shrieking and yelling as her loser of a hubby had started to slice into the minotaur's arm. Lawrence was a lost cause. How he became a necromancer boggles the mind, I could only surmise class bestowing was completely random, the powers that were just chucked good fortune at the mortal canvas of life and regardless of who it hit would be granted untold ability.
Once things settled a bit Lawrence finally set to his task and surprise surprise, after a few moments Terrance stood up. The minotaur was looking a great deal less lively especially with his blood still pouring out of the gaping wound in the side of his throat. Despite looking a great deal less imposing than when the bull man was alive, Gretna was thrilled. Lawrence apparently wasn't a complete failure. He just chose to be. Frankly I'm not sure that's a much better revelation. Why he focused on animating chickens was still a mystery.
Still the entertainment wasn't over. Once Terrance was up and about Fadewind led the zombified minotaur back outside and returned with a package. Apparently while Gretna was distracting the husband... Lawrence was kidnapping the wife. Here he returned and behind him, screaming and wailing behind a gagged mouth was apparently Terrance's wife. Carried in by her freshly animated husband.
I'm not sure what I was expecting but something inside me was expecting a humanoid woman with big milky breasts.... apparently whatever that memory was, was completely wrong. While the minotaur's wife was indeed more on the human side she was far from mammary blessed. Truth was she was almost washboard flat. Other than a pair of stubby horns poking out of her temples the only indication she wasn't human was how her dress made accommodations for her rather protruding utters. Rather typical of what you'd see on a cow. Now that's not to say she was ugly, Gretna still won that award, but more she gave off this androgynous vibe. Now the real question was why they kidnapped her?
Lawrence was speaking to my core, seems they wanted a breeding pit... breeding pit? System, what is that?
{ Dungeons typically grow their own monsters. A breeding pit is one variation of how this is achieved. This however typically requires a suitable mate in the pit to impregnate the surrogates. As this dungeon only possesses undead chickens, an undead minotaur, a half orc female and a human male, a breeding pit is unfeasible. The undead can't breed, the half orc is not a hermaphrodite and as mutated as the human is he is incapable of breeding anything other than more humans. }
So he can't have a breeding pit. What other ways are there?
{ Outside of normal procreation in a breeding pit there are two other ways to create denizens of the dungeon. The first is for the dungeon to create a unique creature called a Breeder. This creature often resembles a slime and has creatures placed within it, it inseminates the target and a monster is born from the targets womb. This however requires the modification of a male target. As The Chicken Lord is the dungeon master and the minotaur is undead, this option is unavailable. }
{ The remaining option is to modify a female into a Mother of Monsters. Much like the Breeder, this creature is a mutant born of a female target. Her body will be changed to suit a specific output, the dungeon master, or any male captives then inseminate the Mother of Monsters and she will quickly breed her designate monster. Currently the female half orc and the female cow girl are equally suitable vessels. }
I see, well, since the first two options are out we should suggest the third and let Lawrence decide. Watching as the system relayed the info Lawrence was taken aback by what he was told. Probably for the first time I saw a flash of cold villainy flash in this kids eyes. His gaze shifted to the other three standing in the room with him as he made his choice. To be honest, the shock on Gretna's face when the nearby wall erupted with slime and engulfing the half orc was actually rather satisfying. I felt no remorse as the vile half orc was wrapped up tight in a neon green egg that pulsed with energy.
And Lawrence wasn't done. His next act was to connect a new room to the corridor between the core and lair. This one was a small jail cell where the cow girl was released. Stone spears served as bars as she lunged at the scrawny necromancer, trying to grab him through the gap. Hopefully he did not think that the cow girl was gonna be his new girlfriend, considering the state of Terrance and the blood on his hand it wasn't hard to figure out who had robbed her of her living husband. As Lawrence retired for the day I had a look at the cowgirl and minotaur...
[Name: Terrance
Race: Northern Minotaur (Zombie)
Classes: Level 3 Farmer
Title: Strongback
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 2
Constitution: 8
Intelligence: 0
Charisma: 0
Luck: 0.5
Current Health: Undead, gaping neck wound]
[Name: Sherry
Race: Northern Cowgirl
Classes: Level 1 Diplomat, Level 2 Weaver
Title: Little Lady
Strength: 4
Dexterity: 2
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 5
Charisma: 3
Luck: 2
Current Health: Pregnant, Stressed, Mild Concussion]
Well well, what have we here? A diplomat? In this ass end of a sleepy farm village. I wonder if I should warn Fadewind....
Nah. Let's see how this plays out.