I have to say I'm almost immune now. Between Gretna and Lawrence copulating to Gretna being ridden by Terrance and now Lawrence dipping into slime Gretna, I think I can honestly say I'm immune to sick fucks. Honestly, be it the potential of a breeding pit or the opposite of slime Gretna neither should be able to shock my mind now. Possibly because Lawrence has officially proven he will dick just about anything. I mean the system specifically told him, expell your semen on the breeders surface and it will get it where it needs to go. Lawrence? Despite voiding his belly of last night's meal, drops his pants and starts humping the breeder like it was Gretna's original body.
Honestly, I'm just surprised he hadn't tried to do the same to Sherry. Sure she'd rip his balls off and stuff them both up one of his nostrils but my dungeon master never struck me as a man with many brain cells. Ah well, at least the job is done. After a relatively short wait the slime begins to tremble, the rather visible uterus begins to swell inside the pink goop before slowly expelling a greenish white egg that passed through the gel with a slurp before lightly falling on the floor. Surprisingly the egg didn't break when it struck the hard stone floor.
The egg sat there for a bit before shaking and rolling around, it wobbled across the floor leaving a trail of goop as the creature inside fought to free itself. The noise attracted Fadewind and he stared, much as I did, at the egg dancing around the ground. Suddenly a crack erupted from it before the shell burst in a flurry, dumping what had to be the ugliest chicken I've ever seen out into the world. I mean chickens aren't that beautiful to begin with but this one was particularly unsightly. It had a somewhat larger body than an adult bird and its head and neck were almost reptilian with bloated leathery flesh rather than feathers. The beak was particularly vicious looking, with jagged, almost shark-like, teeth along the edge. The tail plumage was long like a lizards and dragged on the floor. All in all, this cockatrice was a really, ugly bird.
Fadewind approached it will his usual naive nature, thankfully it didn't seem inclined to kill the owner of the dungeon, though neither did it look overly happy about being stroked by him either. The more he rubbed its feathered body the more I saw its two claws clenching and unclenching... kid, that's no puppy. It's a monster, back away slowly before it rips your spleen out through your throat. Yet Fadewind picks it up like its a pet. I wish I could shake my head. Watching him wave the thing around I notice the cockatrice is getting ready to tear him a new one, master or no master, when he does something I completely didn't expect...
His hands grab the cockatrice by the head and neck and twists sharply.
{ A level one Cockatrice has died in your dungeon. You have gained twenty five energy. }
The deathly shock in the monsters eyes would likely be in my own, well, if I had eyes. What the hell guy?! That's a monster of our dungeon! Why the hell did you snap it's neck?! Oh. Watching Fadewind cleaning up the beast I suddenly realized where this was going. Yup, as soon as he finished plucking and descaling the beast he cut off the meat, gouged out the organs and then animated the largest chicken skeleton. Why Fadewind, WHY?!
Ugh. As to be expected this became a new routine for him. Hump slime Gretna, wait an hour, get a new cockatrice, kill it and raise the skeleton. He did this three more times before he was apparently out of gas but now he had four cockatrice skeletons mingling with his thirty odd skeletal chickens. He might be too stupid or insane to feel shame but I'm feeling it for him. Your wife was sacrificed to create monsters but you end up killing the monsters cause you only want their skeletons. On one hand I have to admire your dedication but I also gotta wonder just how little goes on between your ears Fadewind. This is just embarrassing.
I mean, Sherry has to have a backer of some nature, a diplomat doesn't strike me as a fringe village job. My memories are crap but I feel something just isn't right with the cowgirl. I had hopes that Gretna would straighten him out, that getting the Mother of Monsters would prepare him and liven up the show when her backer comes looking for her, but now instead of monsters that breath poison... we have super sized skeletal chickens. This isn't going to be an entertaining fight, this will be someone coming in and shoving their foot through Fadewinds teeth to kick his ass.
This situation wouldn't be all bad if I didn't notice that the birthing process actually drained energy from me to produce the things. After all it'd be completely broken if Fadewind could just breed these things and supply me endless energy by killing them over and over. The trouble is each cockatrice birthed costs me about fifty energy... but each kill only returns half that. So I lost around two hundred energy creating them but only got a hundred refunded when this idiot killed them. That's one hundred energy gone for nothing. I mean sure he gets to supplement his larder with cockatrice meat to keep himself and Sherry fed but what about my needs??? Where's the love dungeon master?!
Sigh.
Well time was passing, thankfully I over estimated how horny the village idiot could be. While that first day he did the process four times he slacked off afterwards. I guess screwing a slime ball full of organs isn't as fun as a partner with their organs internal. While he still is determined to create, kill and animate them he only does it once every few days. Still means alot of energy is being wasted but at least I won't go bankrupt so quick. Seriously Sherry, where is your backer? I don't know how much longer I can stomach chicken boy. I mean as far as I know he might be a better kind of dungeon master but those faded memories of mine seem to be telling me that this situation is completely wrong. A dungeon master should be imposing and interested in building me, his dungeon, to greater heights. Not hiding away making skeletal chickens.
Bloody hell.
Time ticks by, my energy reserves are dwindling. All that gain from Terrance is nearly gone. Sure he has half as many cockatrice skeletons as he does chicken now but what good are they? They seem slightly more durable but being a bit bigger doesn't make them any greater defense. Fadewind goes outside more now, spring seems to have come. Yet Sherry's backer has not. I'm starting to think its a fantasy in my own mind. Am I becoming as crazy as Fadewind? I hope not. If I start collecting skeletal backers I think I'll will my core to crumble. Would that work system?
{ No, a dungeon core can not destroy itself. }
Damn it.
Oh well, guess I better get use to it. Sherry is hovering on the border of life. Winter was extremely tough on her, losing her husband and living in a filthy cell resulted in the loss of her pregnancy. She was initially sad and wanted to die but then used her hatred of Fadewind to push through but cockatrice meat doesn't seem to agree with cowgirl biology. Fadewind was also sick but I think he tried to make dinner out of one of the cockatrice's poison sacks. No, I observed her meals just to be safe after that, I think it something about monster meat that doesn't sit well with cowgirls while humans seem able to tolerate it. If I have to give Fadewind props for anything, its his survivability. As the village idiot I was pretty sure winter would kill him eventually... but he made it.
The interior of the dungeon hasn't changed, despite the rather obvious need for waste management Fadewind apparently hasn't quite clued into the value of not crapping where you eat. Even with Sherry's distressed condition it has yet to dawn on him that leaving my halls filthy is a generally bad idea, least of the reasons being I want to drag his face through the pile of crap that is growing steadily larger. Poor Terrance will likely have the... joy... of cleaning this mess too. Good thing he's already dead, the stench would likely do him in.
As things progress my energy is at an all time low. The skeletal cockatrices almost equal the undead chickens now. Gretna can no longer breed more living ones since I have no more energy to supply her. Fadewind keeps trying though, I know the system has told him of the issue but its clear he just doesn't understand. This is why you needed monsters kid, if you had something dangerous you could have lured more villagers in, restocked my energy and then continued your little hen house, but nope, you need skeletal chickens. Just what is with you and these useless skeletons?!
Gah! Come on where are you going now??? Please don't say you're gone to get more chickens. For the love of sanity stop with the chickens! Sigh, he can't hear me, of course he can't. Off he goes back to that village. Looking in on Sherry, she's still sick. System is there anything I can do to keep her alive?
{ No. Dungeon Farmer Fadewind's Fallacy lacks the means to heal the cowgirl. }
I don't have any options? I should be able to interact more with the dungeon, it is me after all...
{ Your inability to access dungeon systems is due to tutorial mode. While the dungeon assistant is active the dungeon core is on automatic function responding to a dungeon master. This allows the core to learn of its limits. A dungeon making itself is highly disruptive to its master, a dungeon supporting its master is the ideal outcome. }
But he's an idiot....
{ Dungeon masters will come and go, you are eternal. Regardless if the dungeon is controlled by a peasant or a king the consciousness behind the core is to assist the masters designs. }
What designs? All he's making is skeletal animals! What's his goal?!
{ Unknown. Regardless it is your task to assist him. }
How can I assist a master that is determined to waste away in a pond of his own piss?
{ By flooding the halls with piss. }
You have got to be joking. Please tell me you're joking. You... are joking, right?
{ No. A dungeon exists to be of service to its master. We provide whatever the master needs. A lair full of monsters, or a pond of urine to drown himself with. We do not judge. }
I do.
{ That is why you are in tutorial mode. You are still learning. }
I stayed silent at that. The assistant was a tool, it had no reasoning ability... much like Fadewind. The sooner I played along the sooner I'd be free... or so I thought. Fate was rather determined to thwart my desires. It was about time for Fadewind to return but oddly enough it wasn't him that entered.
{ Warning. Intruders have entered the dungeon. }
Thanks, I can see that. Its only a handful of people but it was rather obvious that Sherry's backer had come. At the lead was a man in metal armor followed by a pair in leather armor and bringing up the rear was a pair in robes. System, can you analyze the intruders?
[Name: Sir Feral Northshire
Classes: Level 5 Knight, Level 3 Noble
Race: Human
Title: The Wall
Strength: 8
Dexterity: 4
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 6
Charisma: 4
Luck: 1
Current Health: Completely Healthy]
[Name: Derrick Jang
Classes: Level 4 Thief
Race: Wood Elf
Title: Shadowhand
Strength: 4
Dexterity: 8
Constitution: 4
Intelligence: 5
Charisma: 7
Luck: 5
Current Health: Flu]
[Name: Tiburon Assanal
Classes: Level 5 Swordsman
Race: Human
Title: The Vanishing Edge
Strength: 6
Dexterity: 6
Constitution: 5
Intelligence: 4
Charisma: 4
Luck: 8
Current Health: Healthy]
[Name: Alice Northsire
Classes: Level 6 Priestess, Level 1 Noble
Race: Human
Title: Saintess
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 3
Constitution: 6
Intelligence: 10
Charisma: 7
Luck: 7
Current Health: Healthy, Defensive Enchantment]
[Name: Dean Vale
Classes: Level 4 Pyromancer
Race: Half Elf
Title: Hot Head
Strength: 1
Dexterity: 3
Constitution: 4
Intelligence: 12
Charisma: 4
Luck: 0.5
Current Health: Broken Toe, Broken pinky finger, bruised hip.]
Well fuck me.