I wake up from my dream, with the reality gun beside me conveniently which I pick up.
I try to look around if Glados or Wolfang are there, but there is no sight of them.
I start exploring around Old Aperture, going through the hilarious Cave Johnson soundbites one by one.
I even found a few not featured in games, which I've forgotten, though I remember the fact.
I go walk around more until I hear the sounds of the crows.
Well, if you hear crows you hear Glados because they're always taking fucking potatoes, aren't they?
I just had a thought: how in the fuck do crows survive down here? There is no other life down here except us, and considering some messed up shit happened in the 60's the air is probably contaminated.
Like, is there some secret food source down here? If there was, they wouldn't even want to take Glados.
All of these questions were pointless but were a good way to keep me from going insane.
In the distance, I spot Wolfang. I try to wave but realized they have my back to me, so I decided to yell.
Fricka: "OI!"
Wolfang shook like she's playing fucking Slenderman and turned around to see me.
Like idiots, we just started waving without making any other movement.
It only took us about 7 minutes for that movement to begin.
Fricka: "How the hell did you get ahead of me so quick?"
Wolfang: "I thought you were fucking dead!"
Fricka: "Right, don't blame you on that one. Any clue where Glados is?"
Wolfang: "Fed her to birds."
Fricka: "What the- you know what, never mind, fuck her."
Glados: "I'm still here, you know?"
Fricka: "She's with you isn't she?"
Wolfang: "Fine, yes, she is, I just didn't want to tell you. If we help her get back in charge she might fulfil her promise."
Fricka: "She didn't make any promise, she'll just turn on us in the end."
Glados: "I'm your only chance on getting out, there is a madman up there who has no clue what they're doing."
Fricka: "Madwoman, you mean, what do you have to offer you're a fucking potato!"
Glados: "I can overwrite any changes she makes and bring everything back to normal."
Fricka: "Yeah right, forgot you were a robot, no I fucking didn't did you really think I didn't consider that fact already?"
We approach the exit of the place.
Wolfang: "No way in hell we're already at the exit."
Fricka: "Talk about moving the plot forward."
Wolfang: "What?"
Fricka: "Nothing."
Wolfang: "Right, let's just get on this bridge and it should lead us back-"
The bridge collapses and we fall two feet down.
Fricka: "Congratulations, there goes our exit."
Wolfang: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN CONGRATULATIONS? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
Fricka: "For one, the thing collapsed due to your weight."
Wolfang: "It only collapsed when you stepped on you fat shit."
Fricka: "I take back my insult, I'm sorry, you take back yours."
Wolfang: "Piss off."
Fricka: "Right I take back tacking back my insult, I take back being sorry as well."
Wolfang: "You might as well take back your brain as well because you've obviously lost it!"
It went silent, again.
Wolfang: "You know, I thought about what Alice said, and what you said when we were falling."
Fricka: "What, your rebellion hating you?"
Wolfang: "Yeah."
Fricka: "I was exaggerating it a bit, I don't think they-"
Wolfang: "No, you were right."
Fricka: "What? Listen, I was fucking salty you don't have to act like the villain."
Wolfang: "Maybe I do. To be honest, I was jealous, I felt I should've been the one to escape, I did all the work, at least that's what I thought. I felt entitled to everything in the world and for that, I was hunted down by every bounty hunter."
Fricka: "Your feelings didn't affect the decision to hunt you, it was because you tried to escape, and *ahem* someone in your backpack placed a hit on you, I wonder who."
Glados: "I regret nothing."
Fricka: "You can't fucking regret you emotionless piece of metal."
Glados: "I'm a potato."
Fricka: "That's beside the point."
Wolfang: "Shut up you two."
Fricka: "Wolfang do you not understand? Alice is jealous of you, all of them, that's why they hate you, out of jealousy!"
Wolfang: "Where do you think that jealousy sparked from? Was it their pure feelings or as a result of my own actions?"
Fricka: "Their pure feelings, you may have done some bad things but that doesn't justify anything they did."
Wolfang: "Do you not think I already know that?"
Glados: "Hey, maybe we should get a move along on up that bridge?"
Fricka: "THE BRIDGE IS FUCKING COLLAPSED, YOU IDIOT!"
Glados: "Oh, sorry, my memory loss is acting up again."
I look towards my reality gun and decide to turn the gravity of the room upside down so we could walk through the escape door.
Wolfang: "WAIT NO- AAAAAAAAAA."
We landed safely.
Fricka: "What the fuck were you exaggerating?"
Wolfang: "Shut up, we have work to do."
We walk through the door and reverse the gravity, allowing us to enter the elevator leading to the modern chambers.
Glados: "I swear to God if you reverse the gravity again in this place the whole thing will explode."
Wolfang: "Make sure to do that on your way out of the facility."
Fricka: "I don't want to fucking go to space."
Glados: "Oh that reminds me of the last time a test subject went to space!"
The elevator doors close and we go up.