(Later at the company party that was scheduled for that week)
"If you are American when you enter a bathroom and American when you leave, what are you with when you are in the bathroom? European!" one of the male officers there said as people there attempted to not seem weird and laugh. "You know you want to," they continued, watching as everyone, including Emilia, laughed. David scowled as he took a sip of his drink, scowling more at the drink. Emilia, already slightly buzzed from her drink, slid into one of the empty chairs surrounding him.
"You're good-looking," she said, the filter she normally put over her mouth is gone. "But you're so smug-looking, I would have to be drunker than this to kiss you, you sick bastard."
"I'm a sick bastard?"
"Yes. You *hiccup* are completely *hiccup* messed up in the head. You *hiccup* hurt people for fu*hiccup*un," she said, the liquor getting more and more to her head.
"Would you like for me to hurt you for fun?" he asked, that smile tugging the corners of his mouth to get out. Signaling for the shop owner to bring them 2 more drinks, beer for him and a lemon-lime soda for her.
"Hell yeah- I mean, noooo. No one wants to be hurt for pleasure. Oh waaaait, I do*Hiccup*" she said, getting up and sliding into a seat next to him.
"Are you sure?" he said, sliding his hand up her thigh, giving a slight squeeze. "You look like you don't want me to."
"Ever heard of the oxy*hiccup*moron 'terrifyingly exciting'?"
"Yes."
"That is how I *hiccup* feeeeeel," she said, blinking extremely hard to sober up, taking a soda that looked a lot like a beer from him.
"Think of it as medicine," he said, watching as she tilted the soda to her lips. 'Why do I want to drink that soda too? She should be a commercial actor for a drink. I'll suggest that to her when she is sober enough to understand what I fully am saying.' "How do you feel?"
Blinking hard one last time, she started to feel the effects of forced sobriety. "A little better. I still mean what I said."
"About what?" he asked, sipping the beer he was given, his face twisting up slightly at how it tasted even worse than the last drink he had.
"When I said you were handsome but smug-faced. You look like a beautiful mixture between Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer."
"Smug-faced?"
"You like to ask a lot of questions don't you-"
"Hey, Chief! We got a self-report!" That cut her off and sobriety came immediately. She wasn't the only one surprised though, as David's nose began twitching, his eyes squinting in anger.
Grimacing, he said, "I smell a bird."