Jane's POV
I can't stop thinking about Trudy. I felt pity on her as she wept on me this morning.
How can a guy like James be that cruel?
I have always thought that if a guy loves you so much, he would do anything to keep you safe and happy. He will do everything in his power not to let anyone or anything hurt you. Isn't that how love is? But then, who am I to know? I have never been truly in love.
I guess I read so much of Heather's short stories, as I subscribed to the weekly magazine, that I started to think that her characters were real. I have always thought of men being strong and protective as she described it in her stories that I wished I could meet someone like that, too. But unfortunately, I never met my prince charming yet.
Growing up in a Chinese-American family, my parents still followed the traditions and made sure I knew the culture despite of being born in the United States.
We still go to parties, and like what my grandparents did to them, they want me to meet a Chinese young man to continue the culture and legacy. So, here I am, driving my way back to the office after having lunch with a potential husband.
My entire life was planned from the moment I breathe my first to now that I am twenty-five years old. For some women my age, they would be having their own apartment and living their own life but me, no. I have to stay with my parents in their huge house in Long Island and drive everyday to the office in Manhattan to work at their company. I didn't even know why I am allowing them to do this to me.
I know my life sounds miserable but what can I do? This is all I know. I have been sheltered all my life that I didn't dare challenge my parents or rebel against them for fear I would be defied by the whole clan. I will be banned for life in the Chinese community and will forever be labeled as the "black sheep" of the Cheng family.
Sometimes I wish I had the attitude of Heather who is not scared of anything or the independent woman like Elisse. Maybe if I do become like them, then I would be able to stand up to my parents. But sadly, I cannot be like them and sometimes I felt like I am the weakest among the group. The weakling... the softest, most sensitive and scaredy-cat in our group.
But, what I love about them is, that no matter how much I show my weakness, they still embrace me and accept me for who I am. It didn't bother them if my parents were rich as my former friends would. Heather and Trudy were the first ones who had ever talked to me in that campus. Most in our class ignored me as they think I was aloof because they saw me wearing signature dresses. Heather even stood up for me once to tell the mean girls in college to f- off when they start talking about me. That made me laugh as I wouldn't be able to say those words and since then we all became good friends.
Then there is Elisse, her personality just lights up the whole room and her sense of humor, though sometimes a bit green, she just makes me smile everyday and forget my troubles. I admire her independence so much. She doesn't care what people say about her. For her, she is happy with her life and nobody can take away that confidence just because people dislike her. Since she was two years older than us, I felt like she can handle herself better than all of us, although for some it was a bit reckless sometimes. But for me, I like her carefree spirit that I wish I had and will never have.
Their love lives are much better than mine. Mine doesn't exist while they experienced them already. Elisse might not believe in love at all but at least she gets to experience being with men, even just for sex and company. They have experienced the joy to be around with men, to be admired at, to be loved and get hurt while I am still hoping that somehow a man would admire me, not because of how much money I have or how many children I can bear someday, but like me as ME.
I want a man who would see me, look at me, make me feel important. Love me for who I am, despite of my weaknesses. Among all the men that my parents introduced, no one had ever come to my liking. They all talked about business and how the company will grow and how my family and our family knew each other. I wanted someone... someone who would go beyond my parents' standards... who don't abide by the rules. Someone who would just take me away from all of this.. Someone like Tristan.
"So, how was your date?" he asked while I was on my computer balancing the sheets. I am working as an accountant to my parents' company. Tristan is one of the architects there. He has been working there for five years and has become one of my dad's favorites. "Do you like him?"
"No, and how did you even know?" I told him without meeting his eyes. I'm afraid I won't be able to speak if I looked straight to his eyes. His ocean blue eyes would make any woman drown in them.
"It's not important. So, what's his name?" I wonder why he is suddenly interested when most of the time he would ignore me when my parents are there. I guess, my parents intimidate him which I am not surprised. And now, since my dad is out in the field, he is eager to talk to me like we have been friends forever when it was only two years since I started.
I sighed, glancing at him, and said, "What do you want, Tristan? Why are you interested all of a sudden?"
"Nothing. I just wonder how you would be on a date," he said, matter-of-factly. "Do you like to go out with me?"
I stopped typing for awhile and looked straight to his eyes. His ocean blue eyes paired with an up-bridged nose and broad smile made my heart leaped a thousand times. This guy is so gorgeous especially with his white long sleeved shirt casually folded up to his elbows. I couldn't help but notice his hairy forearms on top of my cubicle.
"A-Are you serious?" I stammered as I whispered, "You know the rules regarding dating co-workers and most especially the boss' daughter, don't you?"
"Of course I do. So what?"
"Dad will find out."
He leaned closer and whispered, "Not if you tell him. Because I definitely won't."
I didn't speak for awhile as my heart is beating faster. This can't be happening! Tristan, my longtime crush in this company, had finally asked me out on a date. My non-standard, non-businessman crush had taken notice of me! I am so thrilled that I felt like I am going to faint.
Don't faint, Jane. It's embarassing.
"So, what do you think? Is it a yes?" he asked.
I thought for awhile. Is this right? What if-
"No," I said suddenly as I saw his face gloomed. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I mean, yes. I- I wanted to go out with you."
He smiled and put a fist in the air like he just won the lottery.
"You just made me happy today, Jane. So, can we go after work tonight?"
"Maybe around seven? My dad cannot see us together and I have to talk to a friend so you can pick me up from there."
"Perfect. Finally we're getting there," and he smiled.
"Do you have my number?" It was stupid to ask since I sounded desperate but at this point, I just wanted to make sure he gets the right address.
"Yes. I know you have mine," and his eyes twinkled that made me blush. Does he even know I have a crush on him? Mabel, the office gossiper, probably gave it to him. She was my dad's lumpy secretary who had been trying to matchmake me and Tristan since I started working there.
"I-I'll text you the address," I told him.
"Sure, thanks. See you later, Jane," and he walked back to his cubicle. I heaved a deep breath before I call Elisse.
"Yes, Jane. Everything, okay?" Elisse's voice sounded concerned. I guess it worries her every time someone calls after what happened this morning. But this time, it is definitely good news and I assured her that.
"Yes, Elisse. I have a favor to ask."
"Sure, fire away."
"You see, this guy-"
"Ohmigod! Jane, do you have a boyfriend?"
"Not yet," and I heard a squeal. "Calm down. He just asked me out."
"Okay, okay. So what do you want me to do?"
"My parents don't know..."
"Oh... so..."
"Can I go to your apartment after work? I will tell my parents that we need to stay with Trudy for one night so she can stay calm. Which we can actually do after. So, I was thinking, can I stay-"
"Of course, Jane. Anytime. I have the perfect dress just for you and don't worry about the make-up, I'll do it."
"Thanks, Elisse."
"No worries. Anything for my friends." She squealed again. "I'm so excited! You are going on a real date. A date! My gosh!"
This will really be exciting and the excitement just drives me crazy every minute that passed.
I almost wanted to fly out of the office the moment the clock struck at five o' clock in the afternoon. I gathered my bag, turned off my computer and grabbed my keys. I don't want to waste every minute to prepare. If I can go as quickly as I can, I would do so as not to be interrogated by Dad. I knew he would keep asking me if I didn't get out of there fast enough.
"Jane," Dad called as I was about to walk to the elevators. He was walking with Tristan who held my gaze and winked at me. I looked away and tried to hide my smile so Dad would not notice. "Hold the elevator for us. We'll go down together."
"Okay, Dad," I said and push the down button. The door opened and they let me in first. I went at the back and Tristan stood beside me while Dad is in front of us. We didn't speak for a moment as the elevator opened to the other floors.
Our office is on the forty- seventh floor of the Empire State Building and the elevator stops to several floors before we reached the bottom. More people come in and soon enough, the whole elevator is filled. Tristan and I got squished all the way to the back and I can feel his arm brushing to mine. My heart raced inside my chest as I felt his gaze over me. I looked up to him and our eyes met.
He was probably six foot tall and standing beside me, I felt like a midget. I was only five foot tall. We were like David and Goliath and I imagined how his strong arms would hold me and lifted me up in the air, then landing with a big kiss. I blushed at the thought and he probably saw it as I saw him smiled.
Having him this close, I can't help but notice his stubble. He looks very manly unlike the guys I have met which looks boyish despite of the suit they wear. He bit his lip as he stared into mine and I blushed more as I imagined how those lips would feel kissing mine. I heard him sigh and looked away as the door opened and reached the first floor. Everyone went out, including us.
"Uhm... Dad," I started.
My father stopped walking and looked at me. His eyes had this stern look that would drive away anyone who tried to defy him. In all my years, I've never seen my father smile nor laugh. He has always been serious.
"Yes, Jane," he said simply.
"Trudy is still not feeling good and I thought-"
I heard him sighed irritatedly but it didn't stop me from what I'm about to say.
"I wanted to stay with her tonight." I didn't tell him that I'm staying with Elisse since among my friends, she is the only one my parents didn't like. They call her the shenú, which in Chinese terms, a femme fatale, an equivalent to a womanizer for men. For them, she is a bad influence and a big disgrace but I didn't think so. They just don't see her like I do.
"Okay, but I need you to come home for dinner first," he said in a tone that no one would dare to contradict. "You can leave your car here. Tristan can take you back later to Manhattan."
I looked at Tristan and he smiled. Is that why he winked at me awhile ago? Because he knew something? But why is he coming with us?
"Tristan and I need to discuss something regarding one of our projects," my dad answered like he could read my mind. "Your mom asked us to have dinner together, as always, so I invited Tristan to come and have dinner with us."
I was stunned. It was the first time my dad ever allowed someone to come to our house who is not family or a family friend. Most of the time we had visitors who were only members of our community and I felt like finally my dad is breaking traditions by doing this. Even if it is just for work purposes. That made me happy though as I could spend more time with Tristan going back.
I took a good look at Tristan again as he winked at me and smiled before we headed to our cars.
This would definitely be an exciting day for me.