Jungkook POV
We were already sitting in the minibus to go home when Namjoon and Tae finally came. Tae looked a bit, well, sad. What did Joon tell him? This time I was sitting in the middle row at the left window with Jimin right next to me. On the other side was the big door in which Tae was coming through. He seated himself next to Jimin and didn't say a word. He seemed angry at him for some reason. Maybe he would tell me later. Sometimes we get to have a chat right before bed. We'll see.
Namjoon was sitting shotgun this time. After I finished my thought, he turned around and asked the band: "So who wants to stay at home with Taehyung tomorrow?" Wait what? Tae isn't coming to practice? "I do", I immediately said. "No, Jungkook. Practice tomorrow is vocal remember?"
"Do you even know our schedule, Kookie?", Hoseok asked jokingly. "Yes. Of course I do."
"We will stay with him, it'll be fine", Yoongi said pointing at him and Hobi. "Thank you, hyungs. I really appreciate it", Tae said nodding. "No need to thank us. This should be natural", Yoongs said back. I admired how much hyung cared for us even when he didn't show it that much. He was like an older brother for everyone. Even for Jin sometimes. "Okay, good. Now that that's done, let's go."
The driver started the minibus and we drove onto the road. I looked around and saw that everyone except Tae, Jimin and me decided to take a quick nap, even Namjoon fell asleep. I looked at Tae. He noticed and looked right at me. Then Jimin looked at him and Tae's eyes went from mine to Jimin's. When their eyes met, Tae's face suddenly went cold.
"Tae can we talk, please?", Jimin whispered just loud enough so that Tae and I could hear him. "About what? You told me you would keep it a secr-" "I was worried okay? Your mood has been really bad lately and you don't have enough energy to practice, you should get enough rest and take care of yourself", Jimin said while interrupting Taehyung. "Wait, does this mean, you told Namjoon to cut me off practice? Why would you do that?!", Taehyung's voice was starting to get louder.
"Tae, shhhh-" "Don't 'Tae' me." "I'm sorry, Tae- I mean Taehyung. I didn't know what to do!" "So you decide to cut me off practice??", Tae was furious. "You haven't been sleeping properly for the past days. Your body has needs, Tae! You need to rest, don't you understand?"
"I am FINE hyung. Thank you for worrying but I'm okay! Really!" "No, you're not. Stop lying, I've known you long enough to see through your lies." Tae didn't say anything to that. "It is okay, not to be okay Tae. You can admit it, everyone else is sleeping", Jimin said calmly. "Fine. I am not okay. Just don't ask, please."
Jimin nodded. He then turned his face to my side. Before he closed his eyes he looked at me. Since I've had my eyes open the whole time, he now knew that I've heard everything they talked about. After a few seconds I heard silent sleeping noises coming from Jimin. How do people fall asleep that fast? Was Tae sleeping too? I carefully looked over to him. He was just making a tired face and soon noticed my gaze on him.
I put my arm on the back rest and tried to reach his left shoulder with my right hand. When I got there, I slowly massaged his shoulder and worked my way up to his neck carefully caressing it. Then I messaged his neck with my hand. He leaned his head back and sighed in relief. His neck felt really tense. I continued until I realized that he was fast asleep with his head hanging from his neck. It looked quite uncomfortable. I tried to put his head in position by leaning over Jimin's chest. Maybe I could make him lean on the right window. After I finally got him to do that, without waking up, I sat back down and immediately froze when I saw Namjoon's eyes on me.
"I- I thought you were sleeping", I said as I felt my cheeks starting to get hot. "I was... what were you doing there with Taehyung?", he asked. "I um- he just looked uncomfortable- and I- I thought- I could help him to be, you know, less uncomfortable?", I said, barely finishing the sentence because I stuttered so much. Damn.
"Um, okay", he replied and turned forward again. Oh man, that was embarrassing. I'm just glad no one else saw or heard that. I looked around to make sure that every member was sleeping. Yes, okay, good. I slowly exhaled. For the rest of the way I just watched the road or looked out the window. I mean, it wasn't like I wasn't tired but I didn't want to sleep, I got time for that later. I was just thinking about Tae and why it would be such a problem for him to share his negative feelings when we arrived at the dorm.
"Guys, we're here. Wake up everyone!", I said so loud that the others would hear me. After everyone was awake, we left the minibus and got into the apartment. We waved goodbye to the staff and I closed the door behind me. "Listen up!", Namjoon said, "because we didn't do that much today, we will spend the rest of the day writing on our solo songs. Everyone except Yoongi, Hobi and Taehyung got a full schedule tomorrow so we won't have time to write. You all did great today, keep up the good work!"
The members nodded after Joonie's short speech and left into their rooms. I followed Tae and knocked on his door.
"Come in."
"Hey Tae", I said.
"What's up?"
"Nothing I just wanted to hang", I replied still standing in the doorway.
"Joon said, you guys have to write today because the schedule for tomorrow is packed."
"Do you want me to leave?", I asked.
"No God no, I don't mind you staying. At all. It's fine, sit down", he quickly said back.
"I just don't want to keep you from working, that's all", he said so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.
I smiled and sat myself down on his small sofa.
"What was earlier about?", I asked.
"You mean me crying? Ahh that was nothing, I was just-", Taehyung starting talking.
"It wasn't nothing. I never see you cry, what happened?", I interrupted him.
"My grandma, she's in hospital. My parents won't tell me what happened. They don't want to bother me and distract me from work", Tae explained.
He continued: "And now I'm not even allowed to practice, what is this?!"
"How did you find out? About your grandma?", I asked. "Mom didn't watch her mouth. She didn't mean to tell me. It just slipped out."
I nodded. "Well, that's shit", I said. "Yes."
"How are you?" Stupid question jungkook, he isn't well don't you see?
"I've been better", Tae said.
"Yeah, I can imagine."
"By the way I think my parents may be splitting up", I said.
"Holy shit. But why would they?"
"I don't know, I just got a feeling. I think it's because of me", I replied sadly.
"Now why would they split up because of you? You're a wonderful son to your parents! I mean it."
"Thank you Hyung."
"Anytime."
We both stayed silence for a few minutes.
Taehyung POV
"Hey Tae, can I tell you something?"
"Sure, anything. What is this about?"
"Me, the reason why my parents could be splitting up."
"I'm all ears", I said calmy.
Jungkook sighed. "Listen. I- I'm gay. I hope you don't think any less of me. I know you think I'm disgusting now, and I can tell you I tried to get rid of it-" "Get rid of it??", I asked shockingly. "Yes. But it didn't work. Which means I'll try harder.", Jungkook finished his sentence and held in his breath waiting for what I had to say about this. "Kookie. What makes you think that you're disgusting?" "Well I'm gay. Everyone here thinks it's disgusting."
"What do you think?" "Sorry?" "When you see two men kissing, are you weirded out? Do you think it's gross?"
"No they can do whatever they want", he said. "Exactly. So why do you think you can't?" "I just don't want people to see me any different. I think my parents are disappointed in me. And I'm a role model. We both are. People judge us for anything. That's why I need to get rid of it." "Just because some people won't like or accept it?" "Yes", Jungkook said shyly.
"Jeon Jungkook, listen to me! Your parents love you. No matter what! They are not gonna let you down just because you like men. They love you for who you are not because of your sexuality. And don't ever try to get rid of being gay. Being gay means you're brave, especially in a society like this. If you're gay, so what, where's the problem?"
"You don't understand", he said sadly.
"I do", I said quietly.
"What?"
"Nothing."
I looked at him.
He looked at me too. For a split second I thought I saw a sparkle in his eyes. Then someone knocked at my door and the sparkle disappeared.
"Jungkook I need your help with something", Jimin said carefully sliding his head inside my room.
"With what?"
"Just this thing, um, the light bulb in the kitchen isn't working", he said.
"So get Namjoon."
"He dropped it once", Jimin said insistently.
Jungkook nodded and stood up to follow him out of the room.
Right before he left, he turned around and said: "I'll be coming back later." I smiled compulsively and watched him walk away.
Jimin POV
There was no light bulb. I feel a bit bad but everyone was busy with working on their songs and Jungkook and I had to write one together anyway. So I thought if I can't write on my own song maybe we could finish the other one we were writing on together.
He had to work too actually. Instead he was hanging with Taehyung. Jungkook's schedule was even busier than mine. We both had a lot of vocal lessons this week and Jungkook would be spending some of his time on working out too which should make him put even more pressure on himself. How is he able to be organized and calm even tho his schedule was packed this week?
"So where is the light bulb?", Jungkook asked. Oh crap. Why did I even use an excuse to get him here? It's not like he wouldn't help me when I told him that I got a writing blockade. Right? He would come and help me then too, right?
"There's no light bulb."
"What?"
I looked at him.
"I don't get it. Why would you lie if you wanted to spend time with me?", he asked unsteadily.
"Would you help me as quick as you did now, if I told you that I can't finish my solo song? And that I need your help because everyone else is busy with their songs?"
"Of course I would. Jimin, did you think that I wouldn't wanna help you if it was about you? That I'd rather take care of a light bulb than you?"
I didn't think of it like that but I guess he was right.
"That sounds a bit dramatic tho", I said while carefully avoiding his gaze.
"Jimin look at me."
I looked him straight in the eye.
"You are worth everything. Every single one of us loves to help and take care of you. You shouldn't think of an excuse if you need someone's help."
"Thank you", I said quietly.
"No need to thank me", he said and pulled me into a hug.
"So are we gonna work on that song now?"
"Yes, right. We have to finish our song anyway", I said as I let go of him.
"I was talking about your solo song."
"Huh?"
"We are gonna get over your writing blockade", he said confidently.
"Really?" I asked smiling happily.
"Yes, come on hyung. Let's go to your room."
—Time skip—
No one's POV
1:22 am. Taehyung was awake. Of course he was. And he was bored. Which made no sense, because he should be sleeping, why would he be bored and not tired? He didn't know, all he knew, was that his body was exhausted but he couldn't make his thoughts go quiet. They were just racing through his head making him think about everything and anything. Maybe he should get himself some milk, so that he would finally be tired enough to actually put the phone down and give it a try. He looked at the display of his phone: 1:25 am. Is this some kind of stupid joke? The dorm was silent, the lights were off, and he couldn't sleep. Again. He looked at his phone: 1:26 am. He took a deep breath got out of bed and made his way into the kitchen. Weird, for a second there, he thought he had seen the lights switch. Probably just his tired eyes messing with him. No wait, the lights were switched on! Did someone forget to turn them off? Hm. As Taehyung made a few steps forward he could see someone sitting on the counter. With a glass of water. Jungkook. What was he doing here? He was supposed to sleep. Well, funny, Taehyung was supposed to sleep too actually. Jungkook looked tired. His hair was messy his forehead was shimmering from the sweat. His T-shirt (yes he was wearing one) was wet. He looked terrible.
"Hey", Taehyung said and Jungkook immediately jumped as he looked up and dropped his glass, which broke into pieces when it fell to the ground.
"You scared me", Jungkook said, still with a startled look on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. You're barefoot, I'll get you some shoes." Taehyung went and brought some shoes for him and Jungkook to wear. "Thanks." Jungkook hopped off the counter and kneeled down carefully to pick up the broken pieces of glass. "I'm going to help you with that wait", Tae said and looked for a small broom. "Aish!" Jungkook suddenly howled. "What's wrong?!", Taehyung asked running back to the younger. "I cut myself, ouch that hurts!" "You are bleeding, you should get a band aid, kook." Jungkook gulped and tried to be calm by clenching his teeth. "Just wait here, I'll get you something!", Tae said and made his way to the bathroom. The older quickly came back with a bandage.
"Hey hey, wait it's not that bad, Tae!"
"Let me see."
"I can do it, really!"
"Just let me see, Jungkook."
Jungkook finally revealed his left index finger. The blood was already running down to his hand. "Kook this is bleeding badly, luckily I got you a bandage and not an ordinary plaster. Just put this on there, til I get back", Tae said to Jungkook and gave him a tissue to stop the bleeding. "Where are you going?" Jungkook asked when he carefully pressed the tissue on the wound.
"I'm getting a broom to clean up this mess."
After he was done and got rid of the glass pieces, he came back to Jungkook with some sort of spray. "What is that?", Kook asked. "It sterilizes the wound. Give me your finger."
"You don't have to do this, you know", Jungkook said to Taehyung. He didn't answer and just continued with taking care of him. As he wrapped the last centimeters of bandage around Kook's finger he said: "There you go, all done."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. What are you doing here anyway? You look terrible." "Well thank you. You look really bad yourself", Jungkook countered. That comment gave Taehyung a smile on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that, Koo."
"Yeah, I know, it's cool. I had a bad dream and when I woke up from it, my throat was really dry so I wanted to get some water. What about you?"
"Oh I was just thinking about some nonsense and the more I thought the less tired I got. So I wanted to drink milk to get sleepy."
"Makes sense."
"Yeah, I heard that milk helps in those situations."
"Does that happen regularly? That you can't fall asleep?"
"Lately yes."
"What bothers you so much? Your grandma?", Jungkook asked carefully.
"I mean, I guess. It's just, I think a lot. Generally. About everything. And when I'm not tired and it starts, it's really hard for me to stop. My thoughts are just going and going."
"You should talk to someone about that."
"Well, I am, aren't I?"
"No, I mean someone who knows stuff about it. How to deal with it", Jungkook said insistingly.
"Maybe." "Anyway I should probably get back to bed, and you should too, you have to wake up way earlier than I do."
"Yes. Will you be okay? If the milk doesn't work just come to me."
"Can I just stay with you now?", Taehyung asked after a little while.
"Of course, come on." The young men went back to Jungkook's bedroom and Jungkook quickly made the bed a bit bigger by throwing the unnecessary pillows next to it.
"Inside or outside?"
"Inside." Jungkook nodded and created some space on the inside. "I'm going to change real quick, I don't want to sleep in this wet T-shirt", Kook said and took a new shirt, then went to the bathroom to change. Taehyung already laid down, enjoying the smell of Jungkook's sheets and cuddled himself into his covers. When Jungkook came back, he found a soft sleeping Tae in his bed. Jungkook smiled to himself by thinking that he must've smelled good, when he saw how Taehyung had cuddled up in his bed. He laid next to Taehyung and turned the lights off. "Good night, Tae."
Around 3 am Taehyung woke up again. At first confused where he was, but soon recognizing Jungkook's room and remembering that he decided to spent the night here instead of his own bed. He took a look at his phone and saw the time. Not again. He put his phone aside and tried to fall asleep. He tossed and turned and even closed his eyes but nothing seemed to work. He sighed loudly. "What's wrong?", Jungkook asked with a sleepy voice. "I just can't sleep", Taehyung replied. "You wanna cuddle?", Kook asked. "What?" "Do you want to cuddle? I know you sleep better if you hug something." "Um, okay", Taehyung said, obviously being a bit unsure, that Kookie asked him if he wanted to cuddle. "Well, come here then", Jungkook said and turned so that he could look directly at the older. Tae moved a bit closer, not knowing how to do this. He never cuddled with a person before. "What are you afraid of, Taehyungie?" Taehyung stopped abruptly and his face was so close to Jungkook's face, that he was troubling to stay calm. "I- I um. I never did this before." "Neither did I, but it's simple. You just put your head somewhere where it feels comfortable and you do the same with your arms and legs. Let's sleep now, I need to be up in a few hours." With that Jungkook closed his eyes again and left Taehyung completely shaky. It's simple, he just needed to lay his head somewhere where it felt comfortable.
After a few minutes the young male laid his head on Jungkook's chest and his legs next to the younger's legs. Kook had put his arm around Tae's back after he felt him laying down. Taehyung put his right arm on Jungkook's chest as well and kept the left one close to his own body. Oh man, Jungkook smelled even better than the sheets. Tae moved his head a little to cuddle up to the younger even more. He just smelled so good and was so warm and comfortable. The way Jungkook had his right arm around Taehyung's back made Tae feel supported and safe. He closed his eyes for the I-don't-know-th-time and finally drifted into a calm sleep.
What he didn't know, was that Jungkook felt every single movement and it just brought a lovely smile to the younger's face and how Taehyung cuddled up to him, made Jungkook enjoy every bit of it.