"You're so not okay today."
It's lunchtime and we're in one of the multipurpose classrooms. After we finish eating our bento, Rin looks at me with a disapproving frown.
"You can detect that?"
"Of course, it's so obvious! You barely said any of your disgusting phrases, let alone talk at all!"
"Your only basis on my mood is how many gross statements I make?"
"Something wrong with that?"
Her jet black pupils are boring holes in me. Well, it's not like I can hide it from her anyways, might as well lay it out as it is.
"Hug."
"Ha... G?"
Rin cocks her head in confusion like a dog hearing its name for the first name.
"Is that a breed of dog?"
"You're thinking of a pug."
I cut her short before it gets out of hand. I tell Rin about the comment on my newest chapter. I leave out the virgin part of course.
"Hmm, interesting..."
Rin nods as she grasps the situation I'm in.
"Tohru-kun, you really are desperate, you're just like a starving person at a large banquet."
"But the difference is that I won't get fat."
"Well, regardless, I never touched a man's body in my life."
"And I never touched a woman's body before. But it's a hug, we'll have to do it eventually."
Having said that, my mind flashes back and I remember. The arid, smelly classroom. The sound of a shrill cry. The impact of a body falling on me. A sweet aroma.
"How about we do it , just once..."
Like water bursting through a dam, those repressed emotions come out as words.
"You mean...?"
Almost immediately, Rin lets out a shrill scream.
"What the heck Tohru-kun!?"
There's definitely a hint of anger in her voice, but I know it's not anything serious.
"Haha, sorry, my bad."
My apology was more of a light one, as I was laughing while doing so. Rin put her hand over her face as a result.
"Hea..."
I approach Rin and stroke her face. I can feel her heat on my palm, its gentle warmness calming me down. Her face is definitely her weak point, as she gives me a look like she drank a whole bottle of soda. She's so damn cute...
Her usual cool and collected self is gone, instead replaced with a sort of defenseless innocence, her face having lost any sort of defense. Although, if I stroke her too much, she'll get angry, so I pull my hand away. The moment my hand leaves her, Rin gives me a pout, with her pupils open wide, like she's a cat that wants to be rubbed more.
"You shouldn't try to deceive someone by stroking them."
With her face all red, I can see a bit of regret in her eyes. This childish charm is different from the usual Rin. It's quite pleasant.
"Well, I guess I was really thrown into a panic. I mean, for my entire life, I never hugged anyone before. It would be great to get some skills in that, you know."
"That's honestly pretty disgusting. Getting hugging skills? Really?"
Her venom feels as practiced as ever, but I notice Rin's movements begin to stop. What exactly is she thinking? With that, her cheeks take on a deeper shade of red as she folds her arms and begins making sounds as she is thinking.
"What's up Rin?"
As I ask her that, she gives me the occasional fleeting glance.
"...Want to do it?"
"Huh?"
When she says "it", what exactly does she mean?
"Now that we both calmed down, want to try... hugging?"
She reaffirms her statement and my brain shuts down. What the hell is she saying!? I'm trying to navigate through Rin's thought process and I have no idea how she even came to that conclusion. We've known each other for ten years and this is the first time I've encountered this behaviour from her.
"Don't get me wrong, this is just to help you with your novel. I'm just like a goddess swooping down and helping you on a whim during your times of trouble."
"Isn't that too much to ask for such an amazing goddess?"
"Please stop your disgusting worshiping."
Rin retorts back as usual, but afterwards, her eyes take on a more serious appearance as she opens her mouth again.
"You know... I really do want you to become the best author possible... so I'll help out however I can."
I can feel a throbbing in my heart, my chest getting all hot. Before I can react properly, Rin opens her mouth again, as it looks like she has something else she wants to say.
"Th-this is just for collecting data for your story and nothing else. Yep, just collecting data, so we don't need to feel guilty at all."
"Yes, definitely just for collecting data, sounds about right."
Rin is talking really fast and even though I have no time to process anything, I immediately reply to her. Well admittedly, my brain is a mess and I can't think straight at all. This unbelievable situation has rendered my rationale useless.
"So... about the whole thing..."
We have to make up our minds soon, we can't spend forever thinking about it.
"Do you want to do it?"
I hear Rin's question and I feel two distinct emotions from her tone of voice. The first is a sense of shyness. Her face is red to the brim and her eyes keep fidgeting around. The other one is... impatience, I guess?
"If you don't make a decision already, I'll just think you don't want to do it."
"Hey, hold up."
I have to be frank about what I want, even if I'm nervous to say it.
"Umm... I want to do it."
"You should have said so in the place first."
Rin quickly turns her face away, but I still hear her quiet murmur. Paying close attention to her posture, Rin's face starts softly shaking. I don't blame her for acting like this at all given the situation. I take a deep breath and face Rin as I steel myself for what's to come.
"Alright, you ready?"
"...Let's make this one quick."
I'm not sure if I'll be able to follow Rin's request. Slowly, I extend both my arms towards Rin. I still feel myself shaking with anxiety, but I have one goal I must see through to the end.
"Ahh..."
And thus, there is nothing separating our physical distance.
Rin's body is emanating so much heat. I wrap my arms around Rin's body, only exerting enough force to give a light squeeze. The rustling of clothes, rugged breaths, intense heat, the beating of a heart, and finally, a soft sensation, all five of my senses take everything in. A sweet aroma drifts through the air, giving off a gentle sense of familiarity.
Rin's body is much more delicate than I ever anticipated. It would take a lot to pry me away from her, especially since I want my first hug to be a special one. I feel her small frame stiffen a bit.
However, we gradually start to break away from each other. Rin herself looks completely drained. Rin rests her chin on my shoulder, as if to surrender herself completely to me.
I feel a heavy squeezing coming from my upper chest. Could it possibly be from feelings of love? Being in this situation with my beloved Rin is without a doubt making me happy beyond belief. No matter how hard I try to resist, my desire for Rin can not be contained and so, I wrap my arms around her again.
"Hyah..."
"Ah.. Sorry, did I hurt you?"
"N-no, it's fine. I'm perfectly alright. Well, you should care more about collecting data than my well-being anyways."
"Ah, alright then."
As if Rin just remembered, she goes on a spiel about our initial objective, but it just makes me more nervous. Hugging her, it's all just so warm and soft. Her beautiful neck gives off such an amazing smell. Her dainty hair lightly dances across my nose. It's a miracle that I'm able to keep my heart so calm, given that my brain is in a state of information overload.
Time seems to be moving ever so slowly, as if the two of us are detached from reality in this multi-purpose classroom. I'm unable to vocalize this pure sense of joy within me, so I let myself drown in pleasure. I want to feel Rin's warmth for as long as I live. However, I can feel my heart bursting out of my chest, it's throbbing ever apparent. There is no way I can hide such a noise. That is my only concern in this whole situation.
"Your heartbeat... it's really going."
And somehow, Rin notices my one concern and vocalizes it. The embarrassment causes my face to burn up. The only thing I can do is bury my face into Rin's neck. It smells so damn good...
"Hyah..."
Rin's shriek, it's something I never heard before. It jolts my heart because it sounds so sexy. It feels like I crossed a line I never should have crossed in the first place.
"I-I'm fine now."
I can't take it anymore. Something feels off and while I can't put it into words, I can just feel it. I separate myself from her. The heat gradually fades away and in its place is an outpour of regret.
"Did you... collect some good data?"
I can still sense her lingering scent as Rin asks me that, her face almost like it's soaked in syrup.
"Yes, it was very good."
"That's... good."
Our usual tension seems missing. In its place, is the feeling of what the hell we're supposed to do after. As we regain our composure, I can feel myself writhing in agony. I'm sure Rin feels the same.
In the time we have left, we can't even look each other in the eyes, instead silently blushing in unison.