It was early summer when we were in the second grade. I'd come to know the girl in class beside mine, Rin Asakura. Everyday after school, we would walk to the library. I would practice writing novels and beside me, Rin would be reading manga. A little bit before the final going-home bell would ring, I would show Rin what I wrote that day. That was how we spent our days. With every passing day, I would come to understand Rin more and more.
"My way of speaking... it's a bad habit."
It was three days after we first met. A single scene pops up in my mind. Rin, expressionless as always, said that.
"My mom told me to always be polite to whoever I was talking to. So, I studied up on what exactly being polite was and discovered always speaking indirectly and using honorifics were both good ways."
And the result of her investigation led to her unique way of speaking. Compared to herself nowadays, Rin was a lot more uptight and serious.
"But because of the way I speak, I haven't been able to make friends with anyone in my class..."
Rin started to sulk, looking all lonely in the process.
"I realize I need to change. If I start to speak like all my other classmates, I'm sure that would be a good start..."
And with that, Rin had bared her soul to me.
"I don't think it's all the bad. Your way of speaking is pretty cool! I think it's pretty neat that you decided to listen to your mom too."
At that time, I thought the honorifics that adults used were pretty cool, and despite being one that always rebelled against my parents, those were my honest thoughts. Rin's eyes go up in shock due to my response.
"Thanks... a lot."
At that time, I had no idea why Rin's voice was shaking so much.
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"You know, I honestly think I'm somewhat worthless."
It's been a week since we first met. And thus, the scene changes. Rin utters that quietly, as if she was almost too embarrassed to say it.
"My grades are bad and I suck at gym... I really have no redeeming features."
Her head hanging low, Rin bares her soul to me again.
"Don't say that! Rin-chan, you're super cute, your way of speaking is so cool and you're always so honest, you're definitely not worthless!"
At that time, I started to encourage the girl I had unwittingly fallen in love with. I began to vehemently list off Rin's strong points. Rin's eyes light up once again, becoming perfectly round due to my response.
"Thanks... so much."
At that time, I still had no idea why Rin's voice was shaking so much.
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"You know, I don't have any friends in my class."
It's been a month after we first met. And thus, the scene changes yet again. Rin tells me that, while sulking heavily.
"For whatever reason, I'm always glaring at people and don't have any emotions. Even then, I'm not good at talking in the first place. I have no good points at all. I'm almost always alone..."
With a single breath, Rin looks at me, giving me a faint smile.
"That's why when I get to talk with you every day, Yonekura-kun, it makes me so happy."
I respond to her almost immediately.
"Th-then, let's be friends."
Despite my stuttering, I get my proposal across.
"I don't.... really have any friends in my class either. So I would be really happy if I became friends with you, Rin-chan."
That time, I decided to stop beating around the bush. Instead, I bared my true and honest feelings to Rin. Looking back, it was so embarrassing. This time, Rin didn't open her eyes in shock to my response. Instead, she squinted and spoke in her usual strong voice.
"Yes, of course."
Finally, at that time, I began to understand why Rin's voice was shaking. We hung out every day, and little by little, I started to understand Rin more and more. Her kindness, seriousness and politeness, all three of those made up Rin's aura most of the time. Though behind her usual expressionless, she hid a cute smile.
Before I knew it, I fell in love with her. But then, I had no idea what the concept of love or dating really was. Back then, Rin was my friend that I would hang out with after school in the library. I wasn't able to conceptualize further than that. Maybe Rin felt the same way.
That's why besides the time we hung out after school, we didn't interact at all. But I had urges. I knew I wanted to talk with her besides after school. Normally, she would go to the library so she could read what I wrote that day. I couldn't find a clear reason to spend time with her otherwise.
We were both bad at communication, which is why we couldn't make friends at all. But after that day, the boundary between Rin and I shortened and we started to talk outside of the time we spent at the library.
However, one day, Rin didn't show up at our usual time. I waited 10 minutes, 30 minutes, and yet, Rin never came to the library.