'Puuuuahhhhh!!! What a beautiful morning!'
Moving my potato-like body to lay on my side, I stare at the window; admiring the blue skies, chirping birds and polluted atmosphere that will eventually be forever damaging to the future generations..... pollution isn't a joke, kids.
'Hmmmmm...thinking about this more, isn't this weird? Shouldn't you forget your memories when you reincarnate? Did God make a mistake? What the... it can't be.... no no no...'
"Subabu!"
'System!'
[beep boop zorp... I'm making robot noises!]
'Wahhh!!! what the hell?!?!'
"WAHHHHH!, WA-GAHAHHAHHAAAA!! UGUGUGUUGU!"
"awwww~ my little baby wants to sleep?"
'Nonono!!!! Not this again you little bi-'
"How much is that doggie by the window~~
The one with the waggly tail~~
How much is that doggie by the window~~
I do hope that dog is for saleee~"
'Nonono... stop... stupid baby... brain'
"Ara ara... what a little cutie"
Waking up again, start trying to remember what I was doing before mom put me to sleep. Stupid loving mom! Let me cry on my own! Humph!
'Hmmmm... I need more wrinkles in this little brain on mine already... what was it what was it.... A-HA! SYSTEM!'
[beep boop zorp... I'm making robot noises!]
'Ok then..... what exactly are you?'
[oh, you are my host? Hiya! I'm feelie; your swimming system!!!]
'My.....swimming system? What exactly do you do?'
[well, if you aren't too bright like what I assume! Then a swimming system does what a swimming system would sound like it would do! Make you become the best swimmer ever, you slow idiot!]
'...why are you so condescending?'
[I'm sorry! The man who sent me here with you requested I be a "condescending" system to my host, you idiot! Whilst I'm saying this! I'm actually crying! I don't like being mean to stupid, idiot babies like you!]
Hearing his sarcastically cheery tone start cracking, I realize one thing..... the man who sent my system here is one big bastard!
Kuh!..... happy..... thoughts.... mom would... happy thoughts!!!! Andddddd I'm calm. Like an ocean.
'Okay then.....soooo... do you just talk in my head or what?'
[wow! Do you not know what a system is, you numpty? Say 'status' or try something else before asking, you sheep!]
'This is getting a bit hurtful'
[hurry up before I cr- whack you, you little brat!]
'Uhhhh... status'
[finally! I would have died of old age before I gave you a hint! And I'm immortal! Here we goooo!!! Wonk beep zorp narp tink tink tink]
Hearing the bipolar system make his own sound effects, I start thinking if maybe this system is lying to me... bipolar and a mythomania! Damn! What a scary combo!
'Hey... do you lie to your host?'
[wow! That's hurtful! Why would you even assume that, you @*shole!]
'Alllllrightyy then...'
[beep boop doop... the status making is successful!]
—————————
Name: Kim Min-chul
Age: 0.4
Titles: None! Wow! You suck!
HP: 3/3
STR: 0.1 RES: 0
SPD: 0.5 STAMI: 0.4
INT: 10
—————————
'Okay, is that all?'
[wow! My new host really doesn't know how to listen, huh? Try it yourself before asking, you numskull! Why not try shop?!? What about gacha? Huh?! You seem to be familiar with this yet your questions are more numerous than the times you've messed up your life!]
'Guh!.....that's a bit too far... anyways... hic hic... sh-shop'
[beep bonk storp....ding ding tink tink! Shop access is successful!]
—————————
StatShop
———
STR +1
₲100
RES +1
₲100
STAMI +1
₲100
SPD +1
₲100
INT +1
₲125
———
MISHOP
——— → MOST EXPENSIVE TO LEAST →
Über Bionic Legs ┃ (Bionic Set) ┃ ┃ ┃SPD +50 STAMI +50 ┃ Kicking Power x450%
₲3,000,000
Diamond-Cutting Abs ┃ (Diamond-Cutting Set)┃ ┃ ┃STR +45 RES +50 ┃Charm x400%
₲2,500,000
Ultra Bionic Arms ┃ (Bionic Set) ┃ ┃ ┃ STR +75 ┃Push x300% ┃Pull x200%
₲2,300,000
...
Recycled Paper Legs ┃ (Paper Set) ┃ ┃ ┃ SPD +5 STAMI +3 ┃ Kicking Power x20%
₲10,500
Scratch Paper Arms ┃(Paper Set) ┃ ┃ ┃ STR +3 ┃ Push x10% ┃ Pull x15%
₲10,000
Barely Abs ┃ ┃ ┃ STR +5 RES +4 ┃ Charm x10%
₲9,500
...
—————————
'Huh... that's pretty cool'
[No kidding Sherlock! I'm a system, not some slouch!]
'okay then... what did you say again? Gacha?'
—————————
!!GACHA!!
There is no Gacha you lazy mother******! Son of a ***** ******* *****! Work for it, lazy ******! I'm not some 2nd-hand stupid ******* system novel, you *** *******!
—————————
'Ah... got it. Anything else?'
[no! What else did you want!?! A universe transportation system?! This isn't some multiverse that you can travel as you wish!]
'Oh ok then... that's very neat'
Finishing my friendly conversation with Feelie the Bipolar System, I see the door open with the massive silhouette of a person. Oh? I don't remember father being this sexy? Mom? It can't be... mom isn't that hot...
"Wooooowww! What a cute little baby you have made, Min-hee! Ahahhaa! His little baby face is so squishable!"
"Yes yes I know! But remember... Ḯ̷̘̟̣̾̃ ̟̗̩̦̠ͣ̿̿͆͝w̧͚̣̥̤̺̭o͔̟̖͆͗̓̓ǹ̯̺͉͍'̣̟̾ṯ̰͋ͨ̒̏͋ ̳͒ͣ̃ͨh̢̫̖̬ͪ̄̌̐͛a̟̼͎̫̞͎̮͟v̰̹̭̺̙̈́ͦ͂ẻ͉͙ͯͫ̚ ̟͍͉̍̎ͭ̄ͩ̅͡ä̰͖̮̱̳̈̍ͣ̔nͨ̌͏̣̙̞ǫ̬̟͉̲̰ț͎͜h̺͚͆͊͂̋͗e͔̗̘̗̲̬̾ͧ͑ͧ̈ͪ̚̕ͅr̮̹̥̹̟͈̍̉ͯ̇̏ͮ̚ ̮͚͉͕̮͇̣ͣ̎̆͘J̸̝͈̗̫ͤͭͤu̸͔̘͓̞͇̬͗̆͗̍̇nͧ̄͆̓ͭͣ͋̕g̑̌ͫͫ͏̼͓ͅ ̲̖̮͖̦̙̅̊̅͞s͕͕̥ͯ̊̄̊̋̉́i̧̫͍͇̰̲̠̗ͦ̚t͓̲̯̐́̂͒̐͊̒u̯̿̈ͦ͒̋̑͝a̹̣̎ͨt̪̟̺̘̖͆̾ͯ͌͘i̹oͯ͗̊n̼̻̥͈͍̋̏̃̓ͬ̃̀̀.̝̥ͩ̀̈́͋̾ͪ.ͨͮ͏̱͉"
"Ahh....ahaha... yes yes of course, dear sister...!"
Ah, this must be auntie Sun-hee. A very odd woman who got wealthy from very odd jobs such as being a blacksmith, a contractor, a construction worker, a lobbyist and even a priestess for a strange cult once... very odd but fitting for an equally odd woman.
I remember hearing stories about her harassing Jung when he was my age. Most notably, poking, stretching and squishing his cheeks. Again, odd obsession for an equally odd woman.
"Awawawawaw! Say Sun-hee!"
'Pervert!'
"Say Sun-hee!"
'119! Help!'
"Awwwww... sister! You're baby is sooo cuteee! He is like a little dog!"
'.....a what?!? You mother********* piece of ****! Who's a dog you *****! Damn ***********!'
"WAAAAHHHHH!! WAAAA-HHAAAAHHH! BUBUBUBUBU!"
"Ara ara sister~"
Hearing the cute baby burst into tears, Sun-hee tenses up; feeling the air suddenly get stuffy and filled with death. Something she knows all too well after her 2 month stint as a Chinese wuxia minor antagonist young master.
"Eek!....blood is thicker than half-blood?"
"Tsk! What did you call my baby?"
"Eeek! I m-meant that.... your baby's blood is thicker than mine! Yes! Now! Punish me for my sins but please be gentle!"
".... L̷̷͇̪͙͚̍͑͛̽̂̌ͯͮͤ͐̈́ͣ̀e̡̫̺̬̫̝̝̼̲̠̭̲͙̮̟̬̟̫̝̺ͤ̒͌̍̎̃̾̾̽ͤ͊̂ͫ̿͂͜͜͡å̻̺̤̩̪͎̝̘͈͉͚̖̌̈́̑̀͑̌̀͢͢͞vͮͧ̀ͭͦ́ͩͨ̾̀͗ͯͣ̎͆̋̅́͂͞͠͏̷͇̱͖͓͚̭̫̺̻ẻ̸̘̠̙͖̱̣̹̖͕ͥͮ̊̈́ͪͮͥͩͤ̍͌͆ͨ͟͟... let me put him to sleep"
"Yes! Thank you, benevolent sister!"
Of course, auntie knows her sister won't actually harm her but her threats do get creative. Gouging eyes, wooden horses and the like.
'Ughh... one of the few times I really am looking forward to this nap time'
"Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring~~
And if that diamond ring is brass~~
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass~
And if that looking glass gets broke~
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat~~"
'....I really miss this, huh? Mom... don't worry. I'll take care of dad for you; no matter the cost'
Feeling myself drift away into dreamland, my mother leaves the room with a kind expression. Looking at her son with love; she'd do anything for him and his father. The same goes with Jung. All three of these boys are her babies; one just happens to be older than the others.
Returning to her room and forgetting about the punishment for her sister who is now sleeping on their couch, she crawls into bed; hugging her husband's wide back with all she can.
'Night night, my love'
Giving him a short kiss on the back of his head, she falls asleep; content with her 2... no, 1 big baby and 2 little babies in this house. God she loves them.
—————————
(A.N) mwuahahahaha! I got you in the feels, little slacker! did you remember your mothers? They love you, stupidddd~~~.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed, peace ✌️!