*Mackenzie's pov
I've drunk about half of my Scotch so far, and am now having a real look around his place. It's a pretty standard bachelor pad. All 'mod cons', lots of unnecessary but cool gadgets, and neutral colours. Hard lines, bold textures and not many personal touches or decorative items. A spectacular place, no expense spared finishes everywhere. A stunning house.... but NOT a Home! It doesn't feel of... LOVE?!
"Thinking pointless shit again Mackenzie" I mutter to myself. I do think and say some odd things when I drink, and to be fair, I have had half a bottle of red wine, a fair few painkillers, and now whiskey, all on top of a stomach that has essentially been empty for a good few days!!
I put down the whiskey and head into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Need to start re-hydrating now to avoid a horrid hangover in the morning.
Yes, I'm a lightweight! It takes very little to have a quite dramatic effect on my personality and self esteem.
I like my drunk self though. I'm more 'me' then.
My inhibitions fall into my boots, my self esteem sky rockets. I'm therefore a much more confident, brave and sassy woman with alcohol inside me.
Screw the water, I'm having another whiskey!!
I pour myself another drink and take my glass to the couch. I spend the next few minutes trying to get the TV to come on. I can't find the remote or a power button. How frustrating!!
I'm just in the middle of telling it what a piece of shit I think it is, my index finger pointed threateningly at its screen, when I hear a laugh.
I half turn and look over my shoulder, and see Yoongi walking towards me chuckling.
"Oh..... you just caught me......" the rest of my sentence cut off by my scream as I began falling towards the floor face first.... AGAIN!! The momentum of my turn too much for my weakened and slightly inebriated body to control.
I shut my eyes and wait expectantly for the explosive pain of face vs floor, with face losing! It doesn't come!
Instead I feel strong hands with long fingers catch my shoulders and stop me dead.
I put my hands up around the outsides of his arms and cling on, before I dare to open my eyes!
I finally find the courage to peep through my lashes. Wouldn't you know it..... face to face with his crotch AGAIN!!
Today is, in certain respects, a bit of a Groundhog Day for me!
He lifts me up and steadies me on my feet, but he doesn't let me go completely. I think he can feel my swaying and is worried I'll fall. He obviously doesn't trust his decision to put me on my feet, so guides me back to the sofa and sits me down. I flop back, and he crouches infront of me.
"Ken-zeeeeeeee" he exaggerates the final syllable of my name as he shakes me. "Open your eyes, you are ok"
The sentence finished with an almost imperceptible growl.
Never have I ever felt turned on by hearing someone saying my name, but there is something so erotic and seductive about his gruff, low tone. His voice makes me think of honey coated gravel. Every muscle in my body relaxes, but my nerve endings are on fire!
Something about way he rolled my name around on his tongue, metaphorically coating it in sugar before releasing it into the air has me trembling with desire.
I look up to find Yoongi's very blurry, but very handsome face within an inch of mine. Our noses are almost touching!
He pulls back and my eyes adjust. The sight that greets me when my vision sharpens can only be described as incredible!
He is kneeling infront of me, naked from the waist up, just a white towel around his lower body. There are little beads of water on his skin, glistening in the lamp light. He is not overly muscular, but has perfectly defined pecs and small but solid biceps. His platinum hair is plastered to his forehead. I catch sight of a rivulet of water and track it down the centre of his body. It skirts around his belly button, continuing on its journey downward until being absorbed by the towel that I am only now noticing is tied low around his hips. Extremely low!
My body is determined to make me appear wanton! I feel a flush settling over my face, I feel swollen, my knickers are wet, and my breathing is not at all steady.
Fucking hell! I have only been conscious in his presence for one day and already I am aching for him!
I need a distraction.... I can't feel like this! I am not a teenager, I'm a married mother of 2. I can control myself!! I CAN!
I've spent years teaching my kids about relationships, love and lust. Making sure they know that having sexual desire is nothing to be ashamed of, but also reminding them to have some patience and restraint, along with respect for themselves and others. I acknowledge that I need to 'practice what I preach'!
For some reason it matters to me that he doesn't think me 'easy' or desperate. I need to regain control of my body. I again search his face in the hope it will send me that oh so very badly needed distraction!
It does not!!
I notice a drop of water on the end of his nose. I regard him for a second or two. The tip of his tongue is licking at the corner of his mouth!
I tighten in response.
Before I know what I'm doing I lean forward and lick it off.
I have just thrown petrol onto a fire!!
His shocked face is a picture! I can only imagine what's displayed on my face.
He straightens up and clears his throat, "Look 'Kenzie'" he whispers "as much as I LOVE having you throw yourself at my feet so frequently.... what is this now.....the 3rd or 4th time today!? .... As much as I appreciate your finding me irresistible, I must insist we get to know each other a little better before I let you lick or suck any parts of my anatomy! I'm not that easy" he says, giving me a wink and dropping a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose, before lifting me up onto my feet and guiding me into his bedroom.
I feel ridiculous!
I basically threw myself at him, and he very politely declined my advances.
I'm sure I'll be very grateful for that tomorrow, but right now I am a little hurt. How pathetic I am. I cant even give it away!! Shaun is right about my desirability.... I have none!
Yoongi places me on the bed, then without looking at me or saying another word he walks around the bed and disappears into his wardrobe, emerging within seconds in some dry shorts.
He sits at the dressing table and begins cleansing his face. This is followed by moisturiser, some cream under his eyes, and refresher drops into his eyes.
It's fascinating to watch a man performing a skincare routine. Shaun is what he calls a 'real man'. Crew cut hair, a stubbly chin, and some pretty deep forehead wrinkles. This is him, and in his opinion, this is the way all men should look. Men don't have beauty treatments or expensive haircuts, manicures or massages, unless they have a 'happy ending'. They're ok because meaningless sex with as many people as possible is an acceptable indicator of you manliness, and god forbid a drop of moisture touches the skin!
Yoongi brushes his hair forward, gives it a quick blast with the hairdryer and then sweeps it to one side with his hand. It's so fluffy! He looks cute.
I realise that I have not taken my eyes off of him this entire time!
I am angry.....
At myself for feeling like this about him, and after such a brief period of time.
At him for not responding differently.
At this whole situation, for not being able to see my kids.
As he stands up I turn onto my side and face the door to the lounge, my back to what will be his side of the bed, and huff out a big breath.
"Are you ok?" He asks from behind me. This bed is so big I didn't even feel him get into it!
"Fine!" I reply with a little too much snap
"Hmmmm... doesn't sound like it. You sound.... hmmmm, what's that word? Ah yes!! Frus-tated!"
I wish he would stop the bloody growling!! I can feel pressure inside my whole body, but mainly in my underwear! I am throbbing.
I turn over and give him a telling off.
"What do you expect from me, hmm? I wake up in your....your....what!? Sex dungeon, in a see through minidress, covered in scratches and bruises and with no memory of how I got into that state.
You won't or can't tell me about that, but you do tell me I can't see my kids, who for unknown reasons have been told I'm dead, and that I'm going to remain 'here' in captivity forever!"
I am gesticulating like a crazy person.
I want him to think I'm angry with this whole situation. I want to demonstrate to him how low in my mind he is. How unimportant to me he is, and how angry I am at him. I don't want him to realise that my outburst is just a feeble attempt at hiding my own sexual frustration, and the shame of his rejection.