At the my nail appointment I couldn't stop thinking about his touch. I was stuck in the thought. His eyes, his mouth. Giving me chills. By the time it was 4pm I was back home trying to focus long enough to be creative. But mostly I was just anticipating his arrival.
Opening the door to him, I could see he had gotten a hair cut. "Hi," I faltered. God he was so attractive. I liked to have fallen out every time he looked at me.
"Hi," he smiled, stepping inside. "What are you up to?"
"My side hustle!" I beamed.
We chatted and I taught him how to make the dream catchers. He was like an adorable puppy, so lost.
I watched his sure hands actually hesitant and I found his frustration endearing.
"Go under with this string." I insisted,
"This one?" He guessed.
"Yes." I stifled a laugh.
"I just went under with it." He growled in frustration. He tried again and failed.
I snorted and let out laugh, laying out on the floor, on my fourth one and he still on the first. He sat criss cross applesauce, purely raging at the pile of string and a metal.
"Here," I giggled, putting my hands on his. " like this." I guided his hands.
I felt his eyes on me. I looked up at him, there was that look again, proud.
"How many of these do you have to make?" He queried...
"Twelve." I grinned.
He groaned...
"Thanks for your help" I teased. He laughed defeatedly.
"Do you work tomorrow?" I queried...
"Nope." He grinned. He was getting faster at his weaves. He lifted his up to show me proudly.
"Are you looking for a job?" I joked. "I might need a weaver."
"I have a job," he rolled his eyes.
"How come you're off so much?" I pressed, "I mean I took the week off,—"
"I know." He confessed, "I went to your job looking for you and they said you were on vacation...."
My mouth fell open.. "Wide mouth hussies. Who told you?" I laughed...
"So I decided coincidentally, I'm on vacation too" He smiled.
"For how long?"
"Till the end of the week."
I playfully scoffed. They had big mouths at my job. I wonder who else they were telling my business to.
We ordered in and sat down in the floor drinking wine and talking. We played jenga, debated, and showed each other music. Obviously he hated all of mine, but it didn't much matter it was nice to laugh.
By eleven o clock we were laying on our backs with just our heads beside each other staring at the ceiling like we were watching stars.
"I never thought we'd be able to do this, you know?" I exhaled.
"Do what?" He asked.
"I dunno talk, have fun, enjoy each other's company without..." I made a crude gesture with my hands.
"It's nice right?" He spoke tenderly.
"It is," I agreed, "I just didn't think you would think so."
"Ahh.." I didn't know if I should feel bad about the pain in his voice. But it was the only answer for him in the past.
"It's nice having you here." I twiddle the fibers of the rug with my fingers.
"It's good to hear you say that," we looked at each other. I looked away too quickly. It was like this was some crazy fever dream. Always a couple inches from perfect fantasy.
I sat up from the rug and stretched.
We put away the food and got ready for bed. "Are you staying till the end of the week?"
"I could?" He half stated, half asked.
"Will you?" I boldly asked. However odd the situation and, though I hated to admit it, I did like sleeping near him better than sleeping alone.
"Of course." He grinned.
That night I slept with my head on his chest and woke that way.
....Except in a pile of drool.
"Did I sleep with my mouth open.?" I rolled over embarrassed.
"Yep! And snored like a dump truck too."
"Ohhh no" I groaned. Embarrassed beyond measure.
"But did you sleep good?"
"I did..." I breathed defeatedly with my arm over my eyes. He laughed at me. I could feel him turn over to look at me on his side. He traced circles on my exposed skin of my stomach.
"So... is it time for our shower, or should we eat first?" He taunted.
"I don't think we should—"
He sucked his teeth. "Come on," he pleaded, "It's good for the environment."
I gave him a look, but I didn't protest. "Shower first..."
I got up and walked into the bathroom taking off my shirt.
I heard him shuffle off the bed as I turned on the water. I watched him taking off his pants as I took off mine. We looked at each other and one of us was getting excited.
I giggled tying my hair up and stepping into the shower. He followed me and my heart began to pound once the door was shut. He reached passed me and grabbed the soap.
"See..." he looked me up and down as he leaned near me. "Just saving water." We bathed together and made it out tremendously with no mistakes.
Got out dried off, with nothing but the quickening of my heart.
He sat on the countertop behind while I put on lotion. This time dead silent. I passed an occasional glance at him in the mirror. He was thinking hard about something.
"You know," he began his voice in an octave I knew to be dangerous. "I'm sorry about yesterday." He popped off the counter in his towel and walked over to me.
"For what?"
He reached and grabbed the bottle from my hands, "You needed me to do something for you and I didn't do it." He began to rub lotion on my back once again.
I looked at him confused as I examined his facial expression. He kneeled behind me on the ottoman where I sat.
"You needed me." He whispered. I could feel his breath on my neck. I didn't know what the hell he was talking about, but sure as hell was thinking of a want.
He began to kiss my shoulder once again, and I felt the heat rising. His hand found my breast, then I understood what he meant. "I won't disappoint you again." He whispered against my neck. I spread my thighs so that he could have free access.
When he finally reached down, I was so filled with want I almost couldn't take it. "Oh" I moaned. Closing my eyes to really feel his touch.
His fingers played me like cello strings, perhaps, I say this only because he had his other hand poised around my neck as he strummed. Beneath my pleasure I longed to know what else his hands longed to do. And whether or not they could be trusted.
I began to moan loudly as he brought me close. "You remember, who's you are now don't you?" He breathed into my ear calmly as I was stricken.
"Yours," i breathlessly gasped, "Yours."
When all was said and done and I lay a breathless puddle in his arm, he brought his fingers up to my mouth for me to taste myself. As I did i looked at us in the mirror. My panting chest and his steely expression as he looked over my body.
When his eyes met mine, they were full of satisfaction and hunger. I thought he was allowing me time to catch my breath before reciprocating. Part of me lamented the idea... but I would.
Instead though he kissed my shoulder and left the room.
The rest of the week we spent talking and enjoying each other's company, but there was no more sex. We went out, made dates, shopped, cooked dinner... but there was no more sex. I thought about it constantly, but as the memory became more distant, it seemed as though it hadn't occurred at all.
I was afraid that maybe it was only just friendship that he saw with me after all... which... I'm not sure why it bothered me. Before it was the opposite thing I was worried about.
After the vacation was over we hardly saw each other. I was wondering if it even happened. And if it did what did he get out of it? It was a dine and dash at best.
After a little while he came over again and sat down to talk to me face to face.
"Hi." I greeted him at the table, to break the awkward silence.
"Hi." He welcomed the tension breaker.
"Are you here to tell me you have a secret family?" I joked.
"No I..." he started, "I know I've been distant."
"It's not unlike you." I sat back in my seat with a sweltering attitude.
He scoffed. Shook his head and leaned forward.
"I just can't keep seeing you and not be with you..."
I furrowed my brow...
"Are you saying you wanna be my boyfriend?"
"If that's what it takes—" he reasoned
"Wait what?" I held up my hand confused.
"When I'm with you I want you so bad," he said more to the table than me. "I look at you, and at first it was alright...but now that I've touched you and I keep seeing you naked I want you. I want you BAD." He looked up at me.
"So you're saying..." I blinked long scrunching my face like if squeezed the idea hard enough I would squeeze some sense out of it. " You don't wanna see me... because you want to fuck me?"
"I...yeah." He looked embarrassed.
I scoffed and folded my arms.
"It's not... how it sounds." He tried to make sense of it, "It's physically causing me pain."
I gave him a look.
"AND emotional pain and suffering."
"No relationship, no nothing... ahah! He just wants to fuck me!" I laughed sarcastically, "Oh thank GOD! I thought he never wanted to see me again."
"Look, I tried to get it out of my system..."
"You huh???"
"I couldn't" he started making a gesture with his hand.
"You couldn't" I made the gesture back confused.
He pointed and curled his finger repeatedly. "I couldn't..."
"You couldn't get it up?" I gawked. "Pffft... haha! Not my problem."
"You're my problem," he looked at me, " I'm addicted to you. I haven't even kissed you.."
"So first... you want to be where I am, you just want to lay with me... and now it's can we have sex so I get over you?" I all but seethed.
"Not over you. Under you, into you. In you?" He had the audacity to joke.
He saw that I was not amused, "I know that you want this. Me.
"I see how you look at me. How you let me touch you. How you don't resist.
I know you'll be satisfied."
"You could just stop seeing me naked..." I hypothesized.
"Oh fate worse than death." He played the martyr.
"I knew you didn't really change." I mumbled.
"I—" he defended, "That's not fair."
"You still just want sex."
"That's not true, I want all of it... just this too." He reasoned. "I want share myself with you. I want you to have it and to have all of you."
Then marry me. I thought. I knew he never would, but I did want it too. And Why can't I get what I want?
I looked at him seriously. I considered it even though it sickened me. However the tables turned I was lonely... and if he was this person I didn't want much else.
"I know you don't sleep with people you aren't with." He sighed, " So let's just..."
"Let's do it."
"Huh."
"Just benefits. Let's just be benefits."
He looked at me confused and shocked.
"Do it?"
"I have conditions." I stated.
"Oh okay... cool." He was still processing my yes. "But just—"
"For a month you only fuck me. Nobody else and if you do you have to tell me. And I want you to get tested..." He looked at me like he was mentally making notes... "And I want to see the papers. IN MY HANDS."
"That's it?" He smirked.
"Do you want me to get tested?"
"No you're too paranoid, you probably got tested last week." He laughed. "But why just a month?"
"It'll be out of your system by then... and probably out of mine." I shrugged.
His eyes accepted the challenge whether my time span or the conditions I didn't know, but he agreed and he left.
Within the next four days he showed up at 12am with his papers in hand. I had been waiting now with shaved lady parts for two days. I snatched the papers from his hand and leaned on the island as I read them over, "have you looked at them?" I queried raising my brow. He leaned over the other side in front of me.
"Nah I thought we'd find out together if it was a boy or girl." He grinned.
I snorted a laugh and continued reading. When I finished I looked up at him.
"So?" He looked at me.
I looked at him, and I was hungry. I stood up straight. I looked him up and down.
"No one else, just me." It was the last serious thing I said that night.
"No one else." He agreed standing and coming around the island. "Just you." He whispered in my ear.
I leaned down onto the countertop and arched my back towards him. "Dear God," he whispered to himself, "Just you."
He put his fingers in the waist band of my shorts and stopped him, " One more rule." I breathed.
"Hm?"
"No kissing."
He paused momentarily as if thinking it over. If that one was worth it. I wiggled my rear against him and that seemed to help him make a decision.
"Like not on the lips?"
"Right."
"The mouth? Just not the mouth?" He asked again to clarify.
"Yes are we doing this or not?"
He pulled down my shorts and began to touch my already throbbing wet pussy. I heard a wrapper rattling "it's okay I have an iud. Just pull out." I rolled my eyes. It shouldn't be this difficult.
When he finally put himself inside me I felt time stand still. Slowly he pushed inside and we moaned and groaned in unison. I was already panting, he didn't even move, he was just leaning over on top of me with his hands on my hips with his forehead laying in the middle of my back. It was like a long awaited reunion, my body and his. I thought he was gonna finish right there. I could feel my body trembling and suddenly I needed more. "R—" I moaned, "fuck me already."
He stood up slowly and began to thrust his hips. With each stroke I cried out softly. The pleasure of him alone was greater than with Theo. My toes were curling as I couldn't stand it. He grunted behind me and every second I was getting closer and closer. I looked at my hands splayed out on the counter and then I was gone. He gave me one, two, three more Strokes before he pulled out cumming on my lower back.
Leaving me there with a half an orgasm we both panted for moment as he chuckled out of breath.
He grabbed a paper towel and wiped me off. Before either of us said anything.
"Better than I remember." He huffed.
"Enjoy it while you can," I panted, "soon it will be just a memory too."
We were facing each other as I pulled my shorts back on.
He bit his lip smugly, "If that's what you want."
It was.
"Why are you still here?" I asked.
"I was thinking I'd stay the night." He said nonchalantly.
"Well you thought wrong." I spoke equally unbothered. "This is just sex now. We did the sex part, now skidaddle."
He adjusted his pants as he looked at me. "Really?" He was in shock.
"The kind of sex we just had doesn't require any after care so... Yeah." I nodded.
"What about...a round two?" He jested.
"I have to work in the morning. Bye." I said harshly. Urging him to the door. I wanted to feel bad about it... then I remembered that this whole thing was about sex from the moment he showed up. And possibly the moment we even met. As badly as I wanted him he was not getting more. I understood now what it was and decided I might as well make it beneficial to myself.
"I'll call you" I said closing the door. He would not get anymore benefit of the doubt. He would not take up any emotional real estate or cause me to be tangled in feelings. For a month he was just my sex toy. And I wanted to play.