I am Erin.
That's all I know at this moment. Surnames don't matter to me since I became an orphan. I lived with my aunt's family since I was four. Even though I don't receive much attention and love from them, they never neglected my basic needs to live.
As far as I could remember, almost a year had passed since. It is a Monday morning around July. The day is extremely cold and dark since it is raining. From the window of my room, I see my aunt, holding her transparent umbrella outside the house. She is talking to two men wearing black suits. One of them is carrying a black briefcase.
My aunt receives the briefcase they were holding and soon, they leave after a while.
I still vividly remembered what followed after. My aunt packed every single bit of my things; not a hint of me would be left after. Then she speaks to me with a somewhat chilling smile on her face.
"Erin, my dear, always remember that we did this for your own sake. Just be kind and polite to them okay? Someone wants to adopt you and they are so kind and generous." she said while kissing my cheeks.
She only gave me a brief explanation that someone wants to adopt me and I just nodded my head at her like a stupid innocent pup.
The next day, the two men who were talking with my aunt the day before came to fetch me. At first, I didn't want to go with them, but after a futile minute spent arguing, they grabbed me. They forcefully carried me like a mere sack of rice. I cried out because of the pain from their forceful pull on my hands.
I tried to look around and called for my aunt but she was nowhere to be seen. My cousins were at school then while my uncle was overseas.
"Auntie! Please help me! I don't want to go with them! Please!" I kept crying and shouting.
"You son of a bi***!" The man who is carrying me cussed out loud. Then he brought out a white handkerchief and covered my nose.
"Auntie..." Soon, my consciousness started to fade away.
They brought me to a place they called an orphanage.
But that is just a front. Three years living there is very hellish. I've seen many innocent and lovely kids being sold off from and to different creepy people. They were supposed to live a normal life. Playing around, eating some ice cream in some park, be love, and cared including me. That is what the life we are supposed to have. But that is not our reality in this miserable life.
They are being sold out just like what happened to me, twice now. Yes, I found out from one of the men who brought me here to the orphanage that I was sold by my aunt and that's the first.
Then not long after, the same man who told me those things sold me for the second time to other people.
They made me ride in a cramped white box truck. Just before I entered, I saw another two kids there. The first one seemed to be sleeping, and he was wearing a black shirt with holes in it. And the second kid was just sitting dejectedly in a dark corner, looking down at a circular pendant looped around her neck. Tears were streaming down her face and smudging the dirt on her cheeks.
I somehow managed to catch a glimpse of the pendant, which appeared to be her family picture. I didn't know what to feel about this or if I should comfort the girl since I didn't spend much time with my parents. They all seemed to have come from other places since I don't remember any of them from the orphanage.
As I entered the truck, the man slammed the door shut. Everything turned dark, just like my life devoid of happy memories.
Just then, someone spoke.
"Did you also got ki-kidnapped?" It is a trembling voice from the girl.
I didn't answer. I was not sure if she was talking to me since there was also another kid here.
"I'm talking to you. The one who just arrived." Seeming to have read my mind, the girl spoke again.
"No. I was sold off." I answered coldly.
"Sold? But you are a human and not a thing--why are you being sold off?" She asked, confused.
"That's what they said to me," I said coldly as I firmly clasped my hands together. There is some cramped and heavy feeling formed inside my heart. Anger, hatred, frustration? Maybe it's frustration because I just flowed along with the cruelty, the fate gave to me with no one to listen that I don't want any of this. Frustration, that I'm so powerless and weak. Frustrated that I kept believing that everything would be fine.
I don't know where I could let this all out. I clasped my hands more firmly. My long nails dived within my flesh. And small blood trickled down. But, I don't care.
An awkward silence filled the air...
But something she said earlier tickled the back of my brain. "Did you say kidnap?" I broke the silence and asked her out of curiosity.
"Yeah, I was with my mother in the park, taking my puppy for a walk. Out of the blue, she told me to wait for her on the bench for a while since she had to get something done urgently. I listened to her and waited for hours but instead of her, a scary-looking man with a scar on his face came up to me. The next thing I knew, I was dragged away to a creepy, dark place. A-and it's been one, two..." The girl started counting in her fingers then she raised her hands for me to see.
"It's eight days since I've got kidnapped." She said while making sniffling sounds.
"You've been sold off too by your mom."
We both looked at the kid who spoke. It was the one who was sleeping just a while ago.
"No, no, no! You're lying. My mom would never do such a thing!" The girl cried, wide-eyed.
"How could you know?" The boy said with mockery in his voice.
"Because she always told me that she loves me. She even tells me fairy tales before I sleep. And also kisses my cheeks and said good night every time." She said somewhat hesitantly.
"And since you foolishly believe that nonsense, you are stuck here, deluded." He said with now some anger in his voice.
"No! You are lying! Mom loves me! And I know she would find me. She WILL find me!" The girl started to cry more now as her voice brimming with anger, all hesitation gone.
"Ha, ha, ha--right." A sneer. " They might not leave you because they don't love you. Maybe it is because they are stupid pieces of sh**s who didn't have enough self-love. Enough to not bother to take responsibility and protect you. And now you were abandoned and sold here. Congrats! Welcome to the group!" A flash of teeth. " Wake up, princess! This is not the fantasy sh** you had before anymore." The boy said sarcastically to the girl.
I remained quiet during their quarrel. Since my dad died in a fire when I was three, I couldn't completely say if he loved me or not. The memories of him that I can faintly remember when he was still alive would be of him coming home every night from his 7-9 hour job. Then, I would directly head towards his room wanting his affection and attention. He always reasoned that he was too tired from work and needed to rest or if the day was bad, he'd just shout in my face, spittle flying, that he was not in the mood to deal with me and my "nonsense". I was taken care of by my grandmother when he is not around. Come to think of it, my dad appeared to be trying to brush me off--successfully.
But instead of the care and love that I hoped to get with my grandmother, I always ended up receiving a lot of nagging and badmouthing when she's the one looking after me. She always wanted me to read a lot of books so I didn't end up like, in her words, my "worthless" mom. She said that I might have potential in my useless life if I listened to her advice for once instead of attempting to strike out on my own. And if I didn't, I only got whipped by her cane. So, in the end, I always obeyed her.
As for my mom? I don't know anything about her. They said that she died giving birth to me, but God knows what actually happened.
Then there's my aunt, who never showed me the love of any sort, which meant that I couldn't feel anything for or towards them when they sold me out other than hatred.
I don't know what it feels like to be loved by a family. Or if there is somewhere I truly belong and be able to experience such love…
I realized that the truck seemed to have just stopped moving. Just then, someone started unlocking the door from the outside. I could hear screeching sounds near the entrance.
The truck door swings wide open as I squinted at the sudden intrusion of the sunlight from outside the truck. I could also hear loud cackles and hoots outside.
"Hahaha, Boss! Look, I brought new kids." More laughter.
"Get out!" The man who brought us here banged the rear doors and shouted.
As I got down, all I could see were unfamiliar trees that were similar all over the place.
Some trees had yellow and violet leaves and some of them had thorns on their branches with flowers that surround them but overall, they look similar to each other.
"From now on, you are going to work here. If you do not do well and disobey us, you will be punished." We look around and we saw some kids being kicked or punched, and some were even whipped or burnt. They were all very thin and malnourished. Their eyes looked so weary and tired. Others were pulling carts with strange brown fruits in them. Oftentimes, there were so many fruits per cart that made the carts heavy and bigger than their petite and frail bodies.
"After you settled your things in your rooms, get right back here and start working. I didn't buy any of you just for you to slack off." He sneered, then he called someone to show us to the place we would now be staying at.
A tall skinny dark man came around and started showing us the way.
"You three can sleep here." The man said with an accent in his voice. We stopped by the doorway of a white building that appeared to not have been properly maintained for years. He opened the door and a foul smell erupted from the inside. It seemed to not have been cleaned for decades for such a smell to be present.
"There are others who also sleep here so pick where ever you want to sleep. And the bathroom is also at the back of the building."
After he said that he left. Not another word. How cold the weather has become.
"Wahhh! I want my mother!" The girl whom I can see now clearly wailed the instant the man left. The girl's hair was tied into two pigtails and wearing a pink summer sleeveless dress.
The boy who is shorter than us was wearing a plain black shirt with some holes in it and blue short pants.
"Shut the f*ck up! You're annoying."
I ignored the two as I looked back inside the room. The room wasn't very spacious and there was only one window at the top of the door. I remembered the man's words again.
'There are also others sleeping here?' How could they not maintain this place? Is this place still considered a home for humans?' This is more like a sty for pigs.
As I continued to look around, I caught something in the corner of my eye. Or was that someone?.
I covered my nose and slowly walked towards it. As I neared it, I saw a boy with tattered clothes. He was shivering as both his hands kept rubbing his arms up and down.
I squatted down to take a much closer look.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked but I got no audible response. Maybe he had a fever from his hard labor.
I touched the boy's forehead, which was burning hot. He had a high fever. I remembered that I was wearing my grey jacket. I took it off and covered the boy.
As soon as I did that, he immediately clutched it tightly and didn't let go.
I also remembered that I had a bottle of water in my small bag. I got it out and carefully poured some water into my handkerchief so that I would not make any more mess in this already squalid room.
After doing so, I put it on the boy's forehead. This was what I remembered, from the times my aunt took care of me when I had a fever. I guess it was to keep me alive physically so that she could sell me off and kill me inside. I looked back at the boy.
'I hope this helps reduce the fever.'
I then saw where he was lying down. It was only a pile of leaves that he probably scavenged from outside. I looked around and I saw no comforters, beds, or mats anywhere. It is just piles upon piles of banana leaves everywhere.
Don't tell me from now on, we are going to sleep on leaves, I groaned inwardly.
And soon, I also found out why the people living here were not able to clean this place.