There he is again, giving me that unnerving stare like I was the most terrible thing that ever came across the office. He was smirking, his eyebrows knitted together and I could feel every inch of my body shook. I didn't expect him to be here. How would I know that this is where he works, too, when we haven't seen nor talked to each other for five years? Yes, five long years had gone by after that terrible night that we broke up. The night I wanted to forget forever...
I thought I already did. I thought I have moved on and yet, seeing him here once again, made my heart leaped a thousand times. Why? Why did he still has that impact on me? I'm supposed to hate him and yet, I knew at the back of my mind that I can't. In some way, I probably felt guilty. He was the nicest person I have ever met, and yet, I still broke his heart. One stupid mistake that I made five years ago haunted me until now...
His name was Jake Anderson. We used to go to college together. I was the popular girl every guy in the campus wanted while he was the one who was bullied. He was a nobody and I didn't really like him at all.
Aside from wearing those hideous round glasses that looked like a magnifying glass, he had a habit of biting his nails. The way he dressed up would make any art student puke on him because of the wrong combination of colors, and he always wore those worn-out sneakers like he never had any other shoes at all.
But, apart from his appearance, he was one of the smartest person I have ever known, and that gave me the opportunity to use him at my advantage. I was probably the most horrible person on the planet to do that but I don't have any choice. My dad threatened to dismantle everything I hold on to, my car, my credit card and a roof over my head if I ever screwed up again.
Yes, I'm a wild child back then, and I almost got expelled when I got caught having sex with one of the popular boys, Brad, at the campus football lawn in the middle of the night. If not for Brad's direct connection with the principal, who happens to be his mom, I could have been doomed for eternity.
Jake was my last chance to prove to my dad that I can do it. That I can change. So, I made him as my experiment. I tried to change him. I did him a total makeover from head to toe and soon enough, everyone loved him especially my friends. Everyone congratulated me for doing a great job on him especially Brad, and I was proud to introduce him finally to my dad.
"I like him," I remember my dad telling me. "He's a keeper, Claire. Please don't break his heart."
I smiled contentedly. I knew he will. Finally, I made my dad proud of me somehow.
But, one night changed it all. That night, I could have said no to Brad when he asked me to come up to his bedroom and yet, I did not. I guess I was scared to admit that I was starting to really fall for Jake.
"Don't tell me you're having feelings for that nerd?" Brad said as he sneered at me. "We had a deal, Claire."
I didn't answer. Brad and I had a deal that after six months, I will ditch Jake for good. I was having second thoughts lately that I haven't done it. I don't want to hurt him and somehow, I don't want to get hurt, too.
"Claire?" a voice said as I turned my head towards it. Brad had just kissed me as the door swung open. I grew pale as I saw Jake standing by the door. His blue eyes piercing through me.
I pushed Brad away as I raced towards Jake. He was hurrying down the stairs as I kept calling his name.
"Jake, wait! I'm sorry," I blurted out. He finally stopped and turned when we were in the front lawn. Brad had a huge house and he had invited almost everyone in campus for our graduation after party. Everyone was staring at us now, like they were watching a movie, except it was real.
"You're sorry, Claire?! What am I to you, huh?!" Jake shouted.
What will I tell him? That he was just part of the deal? That I just used him to get my dad to trust me again? That all of these are just fake? I will only hurt him more.
"Did you even love me?"
"I... I don't know. I thought-"
"I figured. I was just one of your experiments, I guess," he said as my eyes grew wide. "You're surprised I knew, huh? Thank your sweet little friend, Violet, who told me everything. Now I know what kind of a person you are and I am such a fool to believe that we ever had something. Mom was right. I should have stayed away from women like you."
Then he turned his back on me even before I could say something. That was the last time I ever heard from him. After a week, I got a big box at my doorstep. It was all the things I have given him and a note that said, "Goodbye." I knew then that it was really over.
He was gone. He deleted all his accounts from social media so I wouldn't be able to contact him. He also moved out of his house and his father was too drunk to even tell me where he is. He didn't have any friends and the only friend he ever had, Douglas, moved to another state right after graduation. So, I gave up and moved on.... or at least I tried to.
I changed my ways. I straightened up my life by earning my living and that's why I'm here, proving myself...as Jake's office slave.