I laid in my bed hugging my pillow roughly against my body. The month before Sweet would leave for Paris was almost over. Just the thought made my eyes stream tears down my cheeks. I wasn't ready for him to go, no that was a lie, I didn't want him to go at all. I had made him promise not to stay but inside I was screaming the opposite.
Mom could see how much I was hurting and she would try take my mind off his leaving date. That was no good anymore since he was leaving tomorrow and I probably wouldn't see him again for five years.
I had to get myself together, I had managed this long to not let him know how much I was hurting. I just had to keep it up for one more day. I drove my head into my pillow and sniffled. I had to stop crying and get out of bed he would be here soon and I couldn't let him see me like this.
I sprang up on my bed and shook my head vigorously. Climbing out of bed I decided put on my yellow dress that I wore when we had our first kiss. Thinking about our first kiss threatened to release the tears again. I swollowed hard, suppressing my urge to start blubbering again.
I was halfway dressed when I heard Sweet downstairs. Was he early? Or was I late? I hurried to pull my dress on and tripped into my wardrobe. The loud crash I had made prompted footsteps rushing up the stairs. I tried to wipe my face quickly as he entered my room.
"Sunny are you okay?", he called standing in the middle of my room. I called from the closet and he found his way to me. I could tell he was fighting every urge to laugh at me as soon as he saw me in a heap in my cupboard. "Do I want to know how you ended up like this", he laughed lightly as he held out his hands to help me up. Once I was to my feet I smirked shaking my head.
Once I was back on my feet he lifted me into his arms and squeezed me tightly. Once he looked at my outfit a warm smile sunk into his cheeks.
"I remember this dress", he said dreamily playing with strands of my hair. I took his bait and we started our usual game of beat that.
"Oh really do tell", I said in a goading tone.
"It's the dress you wore when we kissed for the first time", he said sweetly, I was taken aback by his answer since he wasn't playing the game this time. He had sadness in his eyes, staring into mine with he could see my pain about him leaving.
"I couldn't ask back then but do you like it?", I gestures towards ny drsss. He looked me up and down, his eyes burning into my skin.
"Do I have to tell you what I think?", he pleaded hoping I'd take pity on him. I nodded my head hurriedly, beaming a mischievous smile. "When I saw you I though you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, you were hanging the lights up and you looked just like a fairy".
"A fairy?", I giggled, he sighed loudly at his admission.
"Yes a fairy, this feels very uncool to say just so you know", he huffed as he puffed out his chest. "Do I have to say more?", again I nodded with urgency. "You looked, look gorgeous and it's making it really hard to leave", he sighed.
"What time are you leaving tomorrow", I force out a halfhearted smile.
"I have to hit the road no later then 6am to make my flight", he tussled his hair as he spoke.
"Make sure you wake me up I don't want to over sleep", a stray tear espaped my eyes. He saw it and hugged me into him.
"You have no idea how much I'm going to miss you", he murmured. I could hear him choking back tears over my shoulder.
"I'm going to miss you too", I whispers, my lips quivering. "We need to be happy though this is a great thing for you".
"I know, I know, just let me hold onto you for as long as I can", he squeezed me tighter, burying his head into my hair.
"We can stay like this for bit but I still need to pack an over night bag", I said sniffled.
After a little while Sweet helped me pack up some things. The plan was for me to stay over at his tonight so I can see him off in the morning. Downstairs my mom wished him luck, pulling him into a aggressively affectionate hug and said goodbye before we headed out. My mom had taken to him very quickly which wasn't an easy task to get into her good books.
All the way to the restaurant people stopped us to wish him well and luck. I was becoming annoyed by the delays, this being the last day we'd have together for a long time. I selfishly wanted to keep Sweet to myself. Every single person we passed had something to say and I was become more and more frustrated.
I was relieved when I saw we were almost there. Layla had planned a surprise leaving party and I had to bring the guest of honour. Reaching the restaurant door, I circled behind him and held my hands over his eyes.
"What's all this about", he grinned as I led him through the doorway. Uncovering his eyes everyone cheered in a chorus. "Bon voyage". His face lit up at all the people surrounding him with smiling faces. Layla and Al taking pictures and everyone rushing to congratulate and wish him well.
The party lasted a few hours then everyone retired for the night. I helped Layla take the dishes through to the kitchen. She thanked me but looked at me with such concern.
"Don't worry about helping tidy up, just spend as much time with him as you can before he leaves", she ushered me out of the kitchen in an instant but I couldn't see Sweet anywhere. I searched the restaurant he was no where in sight. I stepped out of the back door and I saw sweet standing beneath the same lights we had put up for the party months ago.
Walking towards him music started to play from nearby. I looked around to find it's source but couldn't find where it was coming from. A slow romantic ballad played and he held out his hand for mine. Taking my hand he slid his other hand onto my waist and smiled.
"Dance with me" he whispered into my ear. He held me close as we swayed and turned. I closed my eyes resting my head against his chest. The tears I had been fighting all day rolled down my cheeks, the sound of his heartbeat was so calming."I'm sorry I have to go", he said, his voice was croaky with sorrow.
"I'm sorry about that too", was all I could say, the words catching in my throat.
"If you ask me to stay I would", he said as he kissed my head.
"I will never ask that, being able to let you leave is because I love you too much to stop you from making your dreams happen", I said with tears streaming down my face. "Just don't forget about me".
"I could never forget you sunshine, I will never stop loving you, no matter how far apart we are or how long I'm away", he whispered.
We danced until the song ended and held each other close avoiding the reality of what the morning would bring. I wasn't ready for him to go, there were so many things I wanted to say in that moment. I couldn't find any words, nothing felt right.