It was nearly 3 in the morning when Marcus decided that waiting any longer was useless. Willow wouldn't show up. He had been waiting for a good three hours and there had been no sign whatsoever that she had even just made an effort to come.
He couldn't help but feel betrayed and disappointed. As he was making his way back home, Marcus wondered why she had changed her mind. Had he done something wrong? Said something wrong? But surely he would have noticed that at their last meeting. She had seemed happy to meet up with him back then. So what was it? What had changed?
Had it just gotten too boring for her to meet up with him? Maybe it just felt exciting to her the first couple of times when he didn't know that she was a girl. Maybe now that he knew, she just wasn't interested in him anymore.
Had their last meeting felt in some way awkward to her? Maybe his lingering gaze on her had pushed her away. But he couldn't have helped himself. He just had to look at her.
Maybe she had somehow sensed that there was something growing between them and that had been enough to scare her away. It had to be something that he had done right? She wouldn't just not show up without any reason at all, or would she? Had this all just been a game to her?
Marcus felt his heart aching at those thoughts. There was also a chance that he had hurt her that night and that his anger had scared her away. That she just pretended that things were fine in order to keep him happy so she could leave and never return. But she seemed genuinely happy that night. He surely would have noticed if something would have been off.
Could something have happened in the meantime? Had she decided that it would be best for both of them if she stayed away from him, because of the arranged marriage? That seemed possible... Maybe she noticed the spark between them and knew that if she didn't end things that night it would just end in tears.
She should have given him a chance to set things straight tonight though. And Marcus didn't think she was the type of person to just run away from her problems. After all she had been the one to convince him to not run away from his own problems the night they had met.
Ugh, all of this was highly frustrating! Why for Christ's sake couldn't she have just shown up? This night had not at all been like he had imagined it. No holding hands, no talking about his feelings, no staring in those beautiful eyes in the moonlight. None of that. Instead he had been waiting out in the cold, dark night for hours by himself. If she had decided to not want to meet with him, she could have stopped by for a moment to let him know about her decision at least. Or she could have left him a letter. He had searched the whole area around their meeting point for something she might have left for him that could explain her absence, but there had been nothing. Not even the slightest hint. It was like she had just vanished.
And just like that another thought popped into Marcus' head. What if something had happened? Something that had made it impossible for her to come and she hadn't had a chance to let him know beforehand?
Maybe Philip had demanded her assistance with something that night. But that wouldn't have taken until three in the morning now would it. Marcus highly doubted that. That would only be possible if there would have been some sort of party going on and that would have been planned beforehand and then she would have been able to let him know.
Maybe she had gotten hurt, or sick. He surely prayed that she didn't. But it had to be taken into consideration. Should he visit the Cornwall Estate the next morning and check on her? He still hadn't even replied to Philip's letter... And if he were to show up Philip would surely want to introduce him to his sister and Marcus had no nerve for that at this moment. Besides if something did happen to her, Philip would surely take good care of her.
By now Marcus had reached the Yorkshire Estate and brought his horse back into its box. Tiptoeing through the house and up the stairs he wondered if he would ever find out why Willow hadn't shown up tonight. If he would ever see her again.
With a sigh he got into bed after getting himself undressed. How was he supposed to sleep after a night like this with all those thoughts roaming around his head?
After a night full of tossing and turning, Marcus didn't feel the slightest bit relaxed the next morning. Even after this restless night there was still no answer to the questions that had been spooking around his head all night: Why didn't she show up?
It was passed nine when Marcus had finally gathered up enough energy to get out of bed. He knew that there were things that needed to be taken care of. He still owed an answer to Philip. Although he didn't know what to tell him yet, something would have to be said.
Rubbing his eyes and his neck to get the sleep out of him and some life into himself instead, he sighed deeply. Could a day start off any worse? Marcus made his way across the hall and into the bathroom, where he splashed some cold water in his face. That seemed to wake him up a little at least. But he had rarely felt this bad in the morning.
Sighing once again he made his way downstairs to get some breakfast in hopes of that cheering him up a little.
Why was he sighing so much today? Maybe it was because it felt like everything was such an effort. And there was nothing, absolutely nothing good about today and nothing to look forward to. He wasn't even too keen on breakfast. And food had always been something to cheer him up.
When Marcus entered the breakfast room, he found his mother sitting at the table looking like she was sewing an old shirt of his fathers.
"Good morning, honey." she greeted happily a knowing smile on her face.
"Morning." her son grumbled out as a reply.
"You look a little tired." his mother noticed, the grin clearly evident in her voice even though she just looked up from her work for a moment every now and then.
"Didn't sleep too well." Marcus replied shortly, not really bothering to make a proper conversation. Quite frankly he'd prefer to just have breakfast by himself as usual, but of course today of all days his mother had to keep him company. It was almost like she had been waiting for him to show up.
"Didn't sleep too well or didn't sleep too much?" His mother redrilled. She had noticed the picnic basket that had been prepared and left in the kitchen the other night and quickly caught on to what was going on.
"Ugh, I really don't want to talk about it, alright?" Marcus replied in an annoyed tone, resting his head on his hands on the table.
This caught his mother's attention. Obviously something was wrong. She had assumed that her son had sneaked out last night to meet up with a special someone and have a romantic picnic in the moonlight, but it seemed like things hadn't turned out the way he had wanted them to.
"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice much softer now. Her husband's shirt had been placed on the table and she had extended her hand towards her son, softly touching his arm to get his attention. "Tell me about it."
Marcus sighed again heavily and lifted his head to look at his mother. Why did she always have to know exactly when something was off? Should he really tell her? But she would probably tell his father and he surely wouldn't be very amused by all of this.
"Alright." Marcus had made his decision, brushing his hand through his head, trying to sort out his thoughts in the process. "But you can't tell father about this."
He threw a look at his mother making sure that she was paying attention and really wouldn't tell his father. As he saw her nodding, he continued.
"I had planned to meet up with this girl last night, but she didn't show up. And now I'm trying to figure out why."
Marcus could already feel the heat forming in his cheeks and he lowered his gaze to the table between them in order to hide the slight blush from his mother. He couldn't believe that he had actually just told her that.
"Well she certainly must be quite special if you sneak out to have a picnic with her in the middle of the night." Marcus's mother stated a smile playing around her lips again.
"Yeah." Marcus replied, not lifting his gaze to meet his mother's just yet. "She's one of a kind." He couldn't help the smile that formed on his lips at the thought of her. Of her sneaking off in the nights. Dressing up like a boy. Her fierce, bubbly and cheeky nature. And that smile...
"Don't you think it would be possible, that she just happened to be sleeping at such a late hour?" His mother questioned a slight grin on her lips, as she noticed her son's smile at the mention of that girl.
"Oh you don't know Willow." Marcus exclaimed, now finally lifting his gaze again with a full on grin on his face. "There is just no way that she missed our meeting because she was sleeping."
"Well surely there is some kind of explanation." Marcus' mother replied. "Maybe she just didn't manage to sneak out. Not everybody sleeps as tight as your father does, you know?"
Marcus hadn't taken that option into consideration yet. It was a possibility. Surely she would be in trouble if Philip caught her sneaking out and that just might resort into her not sneaking off again or possibly not even having the chance to sneak off again. But he couldn't be assuming the worst. Maybe she just nearly got caught, but made it back unseen. That would be quite a good reason as to why she wouldn't have been able to show up. Marcus also liked that possibility as that would mean that she had had every intention of meeting with him and did everything she could to do so, but there had just been no way to sneak out.
"That would be possible." Marcus worded his thoughts out loud. "I just hope nothing happened to her."
"I wouldn't be assuming the worst, if I were you." his mother offered. "Why don't you go to your meeting spot again tonight, the same time that you had planned to meet up last night? I'm sure she will show up."
"Not a bad idea..." That was not a bad idea at all, Marcus thought to himself. If something or someone had really kept her from sneaking out last night, Willow would surely try to sneak out again this night in hopes that they would be able to meet up tonight. At least that seemed to be like her.
"Well, I'm glad I was able to offer some advice." His mother smiled at him, getting up for the table and picking up the shirt in the process.
"Good luck." She added before leaving the room and Marcus didn't miss the twitch of her lip, revealing the cheeky grin she was trying to hide.
The moment his mother had left the room, Edgar came waltzing into the room through the other door, that led to the kitchen, with Marcus' breakfast in his hands.
A new determination found within him to meet Willow this night, Marcus dug into his breakfast and was done even faster than last time. Only this time his mother didn't interrupt and no one minded his lack of manners.
After breakfast, Marcus made his way up the stairs again to get done, what needed to be done. And that was sending a reply to Philip. And by now Marcus had figured out what he was going to tell him as well. Simply that he was undecided. He would wait until he had talked to Willow about it. He was not going to make a decision about this until he had heard her opinion on it.
Sitting down at his desk, Marcus was ready to grab the pen that was laying on top of the desk when he noticed that he first had to find a piece of paper.
Ugh, someone had to get this desk organized badly! In the last drawer that he opened there actually happened to be a small stack of papers left. Impatiently he grabbed out the top one and had the pen in his hands only a minute later. Now let's get this over with, he thought to himself.
To
The Duke of Cornwall
Dear Philip!
Please excuse my late response to your letter. I have been quite busy the past few days.
Well that was really only partly true, but no one needed to know that right?
Unfortunately I must let you know that I am still undecided on whether it is a good idea to meet your dear sister or not. I do hope that you understand my point of view. Of course I will let you know my decision as soon as I have made up my mind. I shall hope that to be tomorrow.
What Marcus was actually hoping for was being able to see Willow tonight though, which would lead to Philip getting an actual answer to his proposition by tomorrow. So this wasn't a complete lie.
Until then I wish you all the best!
Marcus
That should work just fine. He wasn't implying that he was completely against or for the meeting, merely asking for a little more time. Marcus did wonder if Philip would understand though. If it wasn't for Willow, there really would have been no reason whatsoever for Marcus to not meet up with Antonia. And Philip didn't know about Willow, so he might not be able to understand what could be so bad about this meeting. But at this point Marcus didn't really care if Philip understood or not, he would just have to accept it and wait.
Just like Marcus had to wait. Wait for tonight and hope - pray that Willow would show up tonight. Hoping that his mother had been right.
But what if she wasn't? What if Willow was gone forever? What if she would only be a distant memory in a few years? No, that wouldn't happen. She would show up. He would wait at the brick wall every night if he had to. Eventually she would show up again. He just knew it. Nothing could keep Willow from her freedom for all too long. And when the urge to sneak out at night again got too big to ignore, he would be there, waiting for her.
Marcus would not just let her go like that. No matter the reason why she didn't show up last night. They would meet again. He'd make sure of that. And if he had to climb over that wall himself and search the whole Cornwall Estate for her, he would.
He wondered what Willow would have to say to the meeting between him and Antonia. For some reason he thought she would encourage him to do it. Surely she would think it would only be fair if he had met her, gotten to know her a little, before he made a decision. Or would she?
Marcus knew deep down that meeting up with Antonia at least once was the only reasonable decision that could be made. There was no way for him to tell if he might not like Antonia even more than he liked Willow. Sure that was highly unlikely, but if he never met her, there was no way to know. And he knew that he would be thinking about the "what if" forever if he didn't meet up with her.
On the other hand he really wanted Willow's approval. It felt like he was betraying her by meeting up with another girl. But Willow wouldn't see it like this. She knew that this marriage had been arranged without his consent and she would probably agree that the girl in it with him at least deserved a chance. They both deserved a chance to make this arranged marriage work. To possibly even have it turn into love. Or at least something close to that.
Willow wouldn't think any less of him, if he met up with Antonia, Marcus was certain about that. But he was scared that it would hurt her nevertheless. That was why he had to make her see how much he cared for her and that it would be nothing but a formal meeting to get to know each other.
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