Willow hadn't slept the whole night. She just sat there in front of the door too distraught to even just move. At some point the tears had stopped coming and the sobbs had died down. And after some more time had passed, the thoughts that had been running through her head like crazy had stopped too.
Now she just felt empty. Empty and sad. This dull sadness had nested itself into Willow's heart, as she was staring off into the darkness that surrounded her. At this point all her spirit seemed gone. Washed out of her with those countless tears she had cried that night.
She didn't care about the dried up tear stains on her cheeks, or her hurting eyes. She didn't care that she was still in her father's old clothes, or that sometime soon someone would come in here and find her like that.
She didn't care.
The sun was starting to rise again and was peaking through the window in Willow's room. She hadn't bothered to close the curtains last night. And she certainly couldn't be bothered now.
Willow could hear the house slowly coming to life. Distant footsteps walking around downstairs, people talking to one another. Surely Philip was already awake as well. And Willow wondered if he got any sleep last night. She doubted it. But she couldn't bring herself to care either.
Nevertheless, whenever her thoughts travelled to him, she felt her heart aching. She still couldn't understand how he could do that to her. How could any brother do something like this to his sister?
Shaking her head ever so slightly she dismissed the thought. It didn't matter. What's done is done.
The sound of the door behind her unlocking somewhat managed to snap her out of her trance and gave her the energy to move away from the door enough so it could be opened without hitting her.
As Elise entered the room, her gaze landed upon Willow for a moment, but she turned her head away again quickly. Without a word she placed a tray with breakfast on the dresser next to the door and was out the room again the next moment.
Willow didn't miss the sad and pitying look on her face when Elise's gaze fell on her though. She could only guess what she had to look like right now.
Ever so slowly Willow pulled herself up and walked over to the dresser. It cost her a ton of energy to just get over there. She wasn't really feeling hungry. How could she be? The news her brother barked at her last night were anything but easy to digest.
And there was that little pinch in her heart again at the thought of her brother. Walking over to the window, Willow looked outside. Wondering if she would ever be out there again. At that moment, she highly doubted it. Her brother would probably keep her locked in her room until her husband to be came by to pick her up. Just the thought of that...
No. No, she wouldn't just accept that. If her brother thought he could just marry her off to some stranger he was wrong. She could feel her spirit coming back to her and the dull cloud of sadness that had surrounded her was slowly disappearing. Instead the anger started to bubble up inside her.
Philip might have caught her off guard with that last night and that advantage of surprise might let him win that argument. But that by no means indicated, that she would just give in like that. No. Not her. Willow refused to do that. No matter how her brother planned to get her to say yes at the altar, she wouldn't do it. No way in hell.
Her brother would have to find someone else to marry off to that man that he had chosen for her. She wouldn't say a single word to her brother from now on and not to her betrothed either. She might not have met the man yet, but if her brother chose him and he had agreed to marry a stranger he couldn't possibly be any better than her brother.
Did he really think just because he was the man in the house he could make a decision like that? And that she would just accept it? How dare he? She would never accept that. Never in a million years.
If Willow could, this would have been the moment she would have ran away. She didn't care anymore if it was dangerous to be out there by herself as a woman. She didn't care if she would have to work as a servant for the rest of her days. Anything was better than getting married off to a stranger.
If only Willow had known about the arranged marriage earlier. She could have asked Marcus for help. He surely would have helped her. They could have ran away together and their betrotheds could have married each other instead. But Willow knew quite well that she wouldn't be able to sneak out again. Her brother would do everything to prevent that from happening. Probably by locking her in every night. If he would ever let her out of her room again.
Why for heaven's sake hadn't he asked her? Or at least told her earlier. Willow was sure that that marriage had been arranged years ago. Very probably soon after their father had passed away. She could very well imagine her brother making a deal with some rich Grand Duke that he would pay back all the debts and in return she would marry that Grand Duke. He had basically used her to pay back those debts. He had sold her. His own sister!
And once again Willow was questioning what she could have ever possibly done to him that made him hate her so much that he would do something like that. Did he really blame their parents' death completely on her? Was that the reason? Was that why he despised her so?
It wasn't her fault. Everyone had made her feel like it was. Her father and her brother. But Willow knew that it wasn't her fault. She didn't decide to be born. It was not her fault that her mother died. There had been times where she had blamed herself as well, just like her father and brother had, but she knew better now.
She refused to let her brother treat her so badly, because he blames her for their parents death. Not anymore.
The morning had passed already and when lunch time was approaching, Willow still hadn't touched her breakfast. She wondered if her brother would let her out for lunch. If he was going to talk to her, or more like scold her, and tell her what to do. She knew that sooner or later he would come and do just that. He always did when they had gotten in an argument and he had her locked in her room for some time to "think about what she did". All that had ever taught her was that she just had to be more careful what she did and said around him. But it didn't earn him the respect he wanted from her.
Philip had never understood that respect couldn't be enforced. It had to be earned. And he had done absolutely nothing in those past years that would have earned him even the slightest bit of respect from Willow. Quite the opposite was the case.
But he had never seen that. All he ever saw was her not behaving exactly the way that he wished she would. She had never been more than a problem that needed to be taken care of to him. Willow saw that quite clearly now. What other explanation would there be for him to do something like that?
Willow didn't even want to talk to him anymore. She didn't even want to listen to what he had to say. No explanation he could ever give her could possibly be good enough. Nothing could justify him arranging a marriage for her and not even mentioning it to her. She could have forgiven him if there would have been no other way to pay back their debts and he would have come up to her openly and honestly about it. But he had to make the decision himself without taking her into consideration in the slightest and didn't even have the guts to tell her.
That was what she was most hurt by. Not even by the arranged marriage, but that her brother would not even think it necessary to tell her about it.
The sound of the door unlocking again made her snap her head towards the door. It was just Elise though. Placing another tray with, what Willow assumed to be her lunch, next to the tray with her breakfast.
Elise kept her head down, not even looking at Willow this time. Great, just great. Obviously her brother had scared all servants into not even daring to look at her. Why was he so eager to keep her isolated from absolutely everything?
The arranged marriage explained that she could under no circumstances be seen with another man. Willow understood that. But why wasn't she allowed to go for strolls with her friends in the park? She was never allowed to just leave the property. Did her brother really have that little trust in her?
If he would have told her about the arranged marriage, if they had decided that it was the best decision together, Willow would of course have stayed away from men. She wouldn't even have minded it. But she hadn't even known about it. Of course her brother couldn't have trusted her to keep away from any male creature off of the grounds by herself, because she hadn't even known.
Ugh, why was it so hard for her brother to communicate? And by "communicate" Willow didn't mean yelling at her when she did something wrong in his eyes, she meant actually talking and exchanging information.
It might have been half an hour after Elise had brought Willow her lunch, when she heard the door unlocking again. Willow hadn't turned around this time, but she knew instantly that it wasn't Elise, but her brother this time. Just the way he turned the key and opened the door so much harsher than any normal person would, had given him away. But he probably hadn't tried to seem like he was someone else.
Willow kept her gaze focused out the window on the woods behind their grounds. She didn't want to see her brother, let alone talk to him.
"Willow, we need to talk." His tone was serious, but he didn't sound mad. Not yet at least.
Willow didn't give him anything in return. She didn't move a muscle, just kept staring ahead of her, out the window.
"Did you not hear me? I said we need to talk." Philip tried again, his voice now firm and you could already hear the temper rising.
But Willow still didn't bother to pay him any attention. At least not until he grabbed a hold of her arm and spun her around to face him. For a moment their eyes locked. Rage showing in Philip's eyes and bitterness in Willow's.
"I suggest you behave yourself and stop giving me that attitude or you are going to regret it." Philip fumed.
Willow just kept her gaze fixed on her brother's. She wasn't going to back down this time.
"Fine, have it your way." Philip spat out the words. "I had every intention of explaining things to you in a reasonable way and I tried but obviously you want to do this the hard way." He paused for a moment there to see if Willow were to give him any other reaction than that frozen stare.
Willow did consider backing down for a moment. Was she just being more stubborn than what was good for her right now? If he really explained things to her properly it might be worth it to give in... For a moment her facade faltered. No, she wouldn't give in now. And just like that, the frozen stare was back on her face.
"I am well aware that you are not happy about the arranged marriage. But it doesn't matter in the slightest if you like it or not, it is what's going to happen. There is no way for you out of this, Willow." Philip made things clear.
Willow wanted to argue back that he couldn't force her into this. She refused to play a part in this, but she pressed her teeth together, kept silent and kept the stare on her brother, nearly challenging him to try and make her.
"Stare at me like that all you want, it will get you nowhere except into more trouble than you're already in." He was oddly calmer today than he usually was and that did scare Willow.
She was fine with him screaming at her, but when he was that calm it usually ended really bad for her. It meant that he knew he had the upper hand no matter what she would do or say and therefore there was no need to yell.
Once again her strong facade started to falter and she knew that there was no way of getting it back on the way it had been before. A sightly fearful look had replaced the once so confident stare and Philip watched with satisfaction as his sister's face fell. That oh so brave facade had been weaker than he had expected at first.
"I will not marry him." Willow pressed out quietly, not being able to stand the silence between them any longer.
"Oh, yes you will. And you will even get to meet him beforehand. Tomorrow afternoon to be exact." Philip replied calmly a victorious smile tugging at his lips ever so slightly.
Willow was taken aback. She was supposed to meet the man tomorrow?
"I refuse to." she gave back snippy, turning her head away from her brother.
"I wasn't asking." Her brother pointed out in a firm voice. "You will meet him and you will be at your best behavior or believe me you will regret it."
He wasn't yelling. He still wasn't yelling, just saying things in such a calm but firm voice that it scared Willow to the bone. What would he do if she refused? What could possibly be worse than being locked in here and married off to a stranger? And, did she really want to find out?
"You should be thanking me really. A lot of girls don't even get to meet their fiances before their wedding. But you do." Philip continued.
"Thanking you?" Willow asked, not able to believe her brother's words. "You force me into an arranged marriage, don't even feel the need to mention it to me for years and I then expect me to thank you for that?"
"Do as you wish, but one thing is for sure. You will meet him tomorrow and you will marry him." Philip stated harshly, a little louder this time.
"And what if I don't?" Willow couldn't help but spit out in a challenging way.
"If you don't then you shall stay in this room by yourself until I find another husband for you. There will be no chance for you to meet him before the day of your marriage." Philip replied, back to his frightening calm self. "Oh, and there will be no more books."
"No..." Willow breathed out. He couldn't do that to her. He wouldn't.
"Yes." Philip assured her, looking her right in the eye to make her understand that he meant business.
Tears of frustration were brimming in the corners of Willow's eyes as she clenched her hands into fists. There was no way for her to win. That was why Philip had been so calm. He knew he had the power over her in that moment.
There was no way she could run away and she would die of boredom in here if he refused her to have any books. And marrying an actual stranger that she had never even laid her eyes on would be way worse than at least getting a chance to meet the man beforehand.
If he happened to be an absolute douche she could still figure out something. But right now her only option was to give in. To meet that man tomorrow afternoon and hope for the best. Whether that was that man actually being a decent guy, which she highly doubted, or a chance to run away.
"Alright." Willow finally gave in and a winning smile spread on her brother's lips again. Oh how Willow wished she could just smack that smile right off his face.
"That's what I thought." Philip surely felt like he was way superior to his sister in that moment. And she hated it.
There was nothing she could do right now though. She had to watch him stroll out of her room confidently, closing and locking the door again behind him. Ugh, Willow hated how helpless she felt. And for the first time ever she wished that someone would come and save her, because right now she didn't feel like she could do it on her own. Where was that prince charming on his horse, that all the girls were dreaming about, when you needed him?
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