“Are you sick again?” Faith nagged me while we were watching a movie. I ran to the bathroom for what would be the fourth time today and was exhausted.
I had been feeling like this for three months now and my body felt close to giving up on me, but I knew this was probably because I tended to overwork myself.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing!” I yelled back and gargled some mouthwash in the hopes of getting the disgusting taste from my mouth. No matter what happened, even if I was on the verge of dying, I had to do whatever I could do so I could at least pay my rent this month so getting sick was not an option.
While everyone had a family to turn to I didn’t and was all on my own like I had always been. Of course, there was no harm in asking Faith or Luna for money because I knew they would gladly give it, but if anything I felt embarrassed. I was already at the age where I should’ve been able to take care of myself but I couldn’t.
“I told you to not eat that bread with Cheetos, you always eat the most disgusting things.” Faith complained and made her way over to the bathroom. I quickly put away the mouthwash and pretended to be fine. “It’s not disgusting, I saw it on a Colombian cooking channel, it’s safe!”
Faith scrunched up her nose and shook her head in disapproval. “Girl, I know you’re desperate to learn Spanish and to get to know your culture and all but maybe we should leave the recipes for when you actually know what they’re saying.”
“Alright, I’ll ask Luna next time.” I pouted to get her off my back and went back to my bedroom to continue the movie. After the movie came to an end, Faith had left and I didn’t know how fast to run back to the toilet to throw up once more. Me being the person I was, I had googled my symptoms but stopped extremely quick when it ended with all sorts of diseases.
The next day I felt even worse than I did yesterday but I still went to work, determined to not miss a single day. I took in everything I could to make myself feel better but failed as it didn’t work. Just the same as every night I looked in the mirror and turned around to look at my body. The outfits I wore usually hugged my body but today it didn’t.
“Luna, do I look fat?” I asked and looked over at the girl who was applying her lipstick. She stopped whatever she was doing and turned her head to my direction to take a good look at my stomach and shrugged her shoulders.”No, but you gained a bit of weight, looks good on you though.”
While Luna didn’t know the impact of her words and went back to whatever she was doing, my stomach was doing turns because I knew it wasn’t supposed to be like that. I had been on a strict diet to maintain my body and there was no reason as to why I had gained weight.
“Girl, you just gained weight, you’re not pregnant stop overreacting.” Luna laughed at me and walked out of the dressing room, leaving me behind. My legs felt weak and I fell to the floor while burying my head between my hands. This could not be happening.
This could not be happening...
But there was no other explanation for the symptoms I was experiencing. There was no other explanation for me having gained weight or for me throwing up several times a day. There was no reason other than me being pregnant.
No Serena, stop overreacting, you are not pregnant.
I got up from the floor and looked into the mirror one more time, but no matter how much I tried to convince myself there was no way. All the signs I had shown were leading towards me being pregnant. Only when I felt something wet on my cheek I had realized that I was crying.
No matter what, I couldn’t be pregnant. There was only one person who could be the father, and that person was the man who wouldn’t even give me the time of his day, the man who wouldn’t even give me as much as a glare every time he walked past me and acted as nothing had happened between us, and that man was Christian.
What would he say if he found out I was pregnant? He would’ve probably tell me to get an abortion. Yes, a hundred percent. What else would he say when he still had his entire life to live which could not be ruined by a baby of some low life.
The moment I heard footsteps I quickly wiped away my tears and tried to force a smile on my face. “Serena are you c-“
I turned around to look at Faith who had a confused expression on her face. Unfortunately, she could see right through me like she always had.
“Are you crying?” She asked, but I quickly shook my head and grabbed her hand. “I’m not, there was something stuck in my eye let’s go.”
We walked out of the dressing room together with locked arms and were so deep in some useless conversation that I did not realize I would bump into someone until I had crashed against a body as hard as stone. I immediately looked up, only to meet Christian’s unimpressed expression, and immediately apologized. “I’m so sorry.”
My heart was almost beating out of my chest as I was secretly anticipating what his next sentence was going to be, but instead, he took a step aside and kept walking, completely ignoring me. Would he ignore me the same way if I told him that I might be pregnant?
“Damn, he’s so fine and rude all at once.” Faith admired him and looked back one more time while I tried to pull her arm. All I wanted was for this night to end as soon as possible and it already started as bad as it could after I had walked into Christian, the exact person I had been trying to avoid. Normally I wouldn’t even see him at the club, but of course, out of all the times I could’ve seen him it had to be now.
As always the club was filled with people who were just here to have fun to businessmen who were looking for amusement. Usually, I went into the VIP section because those businessmen were the ones who had the most money, but today I wasn’t feeling it and mingled with the normal guests.
Truthfully, dancing and letting go of myself for money wasn’t the worse job but the only downside was the prejudice. The looks I would get whenever people asked me what kind of job I did because they did not expect my answer. A shy, quiet girl like me stripping at a club to earn money. For a second I stopped doing what I was doing and looked down at my stomach, while completely blocking off every bit of music and light as only one thought when through my mind. A woman knew her body and I was obviously pregnant and there was no denying it, but yet here I was, being irresponsible while this is the last thing I should’ve been doing but it wasn’t like anyone was paying my bills and I definitely needed the money. How could someone like me get pregnant? Why did I even have a one-night stand?
“You look like shit and have been doing so for a few months now, go home and rest or see a doctor.” The same guy who always followed me everywhere to collect my tips spoke. Frankie was overall a nice guy, but he was extremely bold and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind. Me leaving earlier would’ve probably came to both of our advantages because that would’ve meant he would also be finished for the night.
I looked at the big clock on the wall and only when I read that it was already past midnight I looked over at Frankie and nodded my head. It was enough for today and I had probably reached my target. I patted Frankie on his shoulder and thanked him before I quickly made my way over to the dressing room, in the hopes of not getting seen by anyone.
“Squirrel, leaving already?” I heard a voice yell out to me and stopped in my steps while closing my eyes. By the cheerful tone which the other two Lamberti brothers definitely did not have, I assumed it was Enzo and had two options. The first one would be to enter the dressing room and ignore my boss while the other one would be to turn around and face him in this state, but the first option was out of the question. Considering the money I needed, the last thing that was on my list was to avoid my boss.
“H-hey.” I awkwardly greeted him and turned around to face him. Enzo’s eyes got big for a second and he held his hand against my forehead to probably check my temperature.
“Squirrel...you look like several shits combined and mixed up together.” He commented. Enzo always had an interesting way with words which were either way too under advanced or too advanced for my basic brains to understand, so instead I frowned my eyebrow, waiting for his usual explanation which would always follow after.
“You look funny, get some sleep.” He translated his words. I failed to hide the saddened expression on my face causing him to give me a pitiful look as he looked at my body which was shaking from the cold and the lack of clothing I was wearing.
“Chris, come and take a look at this, if you’re taking over dad one day you’ll have to treat your employees better!” Enzo yelled at the person behind me while I stood there in disbelief. If I knew that I would’ve been crossing paths with the person I tried to avoid for the second time of today I would’ve dropped the money and just not gone to work at all.