“Do you need help, miss?” The female employee who had been watching my every move asked. I shook my head and tried to cover myself up with my hoodie even more than I had already done. I had been standing in the pregnancy aisle and staring at the different tests for a while now and was unsure of what to pick.
No one knew me around here and there was no shame whatsoever in being pregnant at the age twenty-one, so I didn't know why I was so desperate to hide.
My eyes had immediately looked up the digital pregnancy tests which I could not afford, but I had to know for sure and those were the most believable. Unfortunately, I did not know these things and was confused about how many I should buy. Should I go for two, three, four?
If a month ago someone would’ve told me that I would be buying a pregnancy test today I would’ve smacked them in the face but yet here I was and couldn’t help but think why I was so irresponsible. Condoms existed for a reason, but I decided not to use them because I relied on the birth control pills I knew I wasn’t always taking in as scheduled. All of this could’ve been prevented.
Whenever I thought about it I couldn’t help but cry. I tried to hide my tears and planted as many happy thoughts as I could inside of my head so my tears wouldn’t fall, but before I knew it, it was too late and I had no control over it anymore. The first thing I did was look around me and wiped my tears, for my luck it was early in the morning so it wasn’t that crowded.
“Miss, are you okay?” I heard the voice of a young boy ask me and wiped away my tears one last time before turning around. He couldn’t be any older than ten and was looking up at me with kind bright eyes. How bad did it have to be for a child have to ask me this question?
“Luis, I told you not talk to strangers!” A man who was walking towards our way spoke and was followed by another man behind. It only took me a second to recognize this man, it was the same man whose suit I had ruined with champagne at the night of the club meeting.
The first thought which had occurred to me was to turn around and keep my mouth shut, but it seemed as if luck was not in my favor and all because of this young boy. “But she’s crying Vincenzo, and you told me to help people in need.” So, Vincenzo, that was his name.
“Yes, as in poor people.” The other man spoke and soon after I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I turned around, already accepting my faith, and came eye to eye with the man who had been a victim of my clumsiness. I had hoped that he wouldn’t be able to recognize me, but when his eyes got big I knew that it wasn’t the case. “Hey, you work for the Lamberti’s don’t you?” He asked and looked from me to the pregnancy test in my hands.
“It’s a small world!” He suddenly commented and looked away, pretending to not have seen anything. It had always been amazing to me how people continued the conversation despite seeing the other person was not in the mood. “I’m Vincenzo.”
“Serena.” I barely whispered and looked the other way. “I’m Luis and that there is Beau, but a quick question. Why are you crying, miss?” The little boy asked and received a smack on his head from the man standing next to him. “Shut up.” He growled out.
“Are you okay?” Vincenzo asked. I took a deep breath and tried to recover myself so he would leave me alone, but the moment I started speaking my voice cracked. “I’m fine.”
“Then what do you have in your hands?” Vincenzo smiled and grabbed my wrist to raise my hand. “I think she’s crying because she’s pregnant!” Luis spoke and walked over to Vincenzo. Beau stayed behind and held his hands together. I figured he was some kind of bodyguard. Just like the Lamberti’s, Vincenzo looked as if he came from an important and powerful family.
“Are you crying because...it’s none of my business,” Vincenzo said and finally let go of my hand. “All I want is to apologize for my little brother disturbing you.”
“I don’t want any babies. To have babies you have to do that thing. I saw it in live-action on my brother’s laptop. It was on this site called po-“ Luis ranted, but could not finish his sentence when Vincenzo held his hand in front of Luis’ mouth and told him to shut up.
For the first time, I heard a chuckle leave Beau’s mouth who had a satisfied look on his face while Vincenzo was dying of embarrassment. I couldn’t help but laugh at the small pout he gave me while he was waiting for my reaction. “Well, at least you made her happy.”
Luis gave me a bright smile and shrugged his shoulders and I gave him one back. Growing up in a group home and a couple of foster families I knew very well how little children did nothing other than speaking their innocent truth without thinking about others, but that’s what I loved about them. I love children.
“Were you crying because you got knocked up?” Vincenzo asked and changed the subject. I was shocked at his sudden question and immediately shook my head. He was right though.
“N-no, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant!” I quickly defended myself, but only when he let out a laugh I realized he was joking with me. If he only knew.
“Okay, then there is no reason for you to be crying. I don’t want to involve myself in your personal life but being able to provide for a child is a blessing.” He said and looked down at Luis who had already been distracted by his phone. His words were encouraging, but I could barely provide for myself. “Are you a dad?”
“No, I’m sorry it’s really none of my business.” He apologized, and I felt bad for the way my words came out. It was a sincere question and not meant to be a snarky comment.
“Can you keep this a secret?” I carefully asked. It was a bit embarrassing to ask, but I was aware of his good relationship with Christian and could not have him finding out under any circumstances when I didn’t even know for sure. Would Christian even think of the chances of him being the father if he knew?
“I don’t know who I should tell, but sure.” He promised and gave me a warm smile. We stared at each other for a few seconds but after a while, I got self-conscious and wanted to get home as soon as possible.
“Well, thank you for your advice and for cheering me up but I really have to go.” I excused myself and gave Luis who had put his phone away a pat on his head. “Bye, miss!” I heard Luis yell after me but I had already disappeared from the aisle and made my way to the counter to pay for the dual package pregnancy test.
The moment I got back home I wasted no time and immediately did the pregnancy test. Yes, I was so prepared that I had even drunk two cans of water before going to the store so I didn’t have to wait till I had to go to the bathroom.
After going through the difficult instructions I patiently waited on the results while staring at a white wall like a zombie and thought about my life. I graduated high school with bad grades, I was a college drop out because I couldn’t keep up with my peers and had no further life plans at the age of twenty-one.
No matter what, I couldn’t be-
My thoughts got interrupted by the loud beeping sound which had almost made me jump up. With baby steps, I walked towards the cabinet where I had put down the tests and closed my eyes.
Please let it be negative.
I clasped my hands together and prayed for the test to be negative so I could move on with my life and forget about all of this, but when I opened my eyes and read the exact same on both tests I felt as if my world came crashing down.
Pregnant, 3+ weeks