Aunty Ava's words follow me to my sleeping mat that night. I toss back and forth on the bamboo mat even after every one else has fallen asleep and soft snoring sounds fill the yurt.
~She can't see the future... She doesn't know~
I speak this mantra to myself each time my thoughts go too far, and I imagine Altan burning down the caravan to bring me back to his Palace. But her certainty about her intuition still has my fingers shaking.
~She spoke to me as if she wouldn't have another chance to. As if Altan could come and steal me at any moment.~
Finally, the weight of my exhaustion becomes more burdensome than my thoughts and I let sleep overtake me.
But it seems only for a split second before I wake with a hand covering my mouth.
My body thrashes immediately, like a fish torn from the safety of water, bucking under a strong arm that holds me down. My mind rushes, fear and adrenalin coursing through me as I'm certain that Altan has arrived to steal me in the night.
"Azul."
My body freezes, then relaxes as I recognize the voice.
It's Cai.
It's not Altan. I'm safe... For now.
"Calm down." Cai warns me through a whisper, although I've already stopped resisting him. It's almost entirely dark in my yurt. The only light coming from the glowing coals of the fire that must have died hours ago. But still there is enough light coming in from the hole at the top of the yurt and the propped open tent flap that I can see where Cai it.
He's perched over top of my body. He has one thigh hugging tightly to each of my hips as I lay on my back. One of his hands braces himself against the bamboo mat beneath me and the other is wrapped around my mouth to keep me from yelling and waking the other girls. I'm fairly certain that he didn't originally wake me in this position, but he somehow ended up here in an attempt to tame my flailing body when I woke in a panic.
"Are you calm now?" he asks beside my ear, his hair tickles my cheeks as he leans closer to me and my heart beat thumps against my chest at the intimacy of our position. I nod slowly and his hand moves with my head. He pauses for a bit longer as if to see if I'm lying, then hops off of me in one silent and swift motion.
I inhale sharply as he creates distance between us, as if I wasn't capable of breathing correctly with him near me. "What are you doing?" I whisper. I search around the yurt quickly to see if any of the other girls had woken up from our scuffle, but they all still seem asleep. That, or they're pretending.
"Come." Cai takes me by the elbow and raises me off of my sleeping mat.
~He never explains anything.~
I huff exasperatedly, but follow him anyway. If I'm going to yell at him for never explaining himself, I'd at least like to do it outside of the yurt where I wont wake the other girls.
I open my mouth when we exit the yurt, considering telling him that I was sleeping happily before he arrived or that I'm tired of aimlessly following him all over this world, but he speaks first.
"I've decided I'm going to teach you how to manipulate your element." he says. and I promptly close my mouth. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that.
Tonight's camp was set up inside a small valley. Hills dotted with brown and green grass are on either side of the circle of yurts, and it feels like I'm finally free of the desert even through the ground that the grass is growing from is still quite sandy.
Cai leads me to a small stream that flows through the center of the valley and is right beside the camp. The trickle of the stream reminding me of the pitter patter of rain on a tin roof. he sits on a large stone beside the stream and gestures for me to do the same.
"Why did you decide this, suddenly?" I ask and let my voice rise above a whisper, we are finally far enough away from the other yurts that I'm not worried about waking anyone.
Cai's eyes raise from the water and meet mine. "I've decided to believe your story for now." he says, and I know he's referring to what I told him in the pool. "And if what you said is true, then you need protection, because I know why the Duke wants you so badly."
"You do?"
He nods his head, "If you have no memories, that also means you have no loyalties. Do you know why there hasn't been a marriage to end this war, even after over a hundred years?"
I shake my head.
"Because everyone is too loyal to their own side." he answers, "Every woman I know from Pani Rastra would sooner take her own life than marry a royal from Ot Ulut and forfeit the war their fathers and grandfathers fought in. But you," he pauses.
"But I don't have that kind of experience," I finish for him.
"Exactly." he nods, "it's easier for the Duke to use you for his purposes."
I take a shaky breath. Every Piece of the puzzle slowly coming together at his words. "Will you tell me about the War of Old?" I say.
"What would you like to know?" he drops his hand to the stream beneath us and lets the water run past his fingers.
I watch the way the water moves around his hand. "Altan wouldn't let me learn anything about it." I say. "I want to know everything."
"it would take a whole year for me to tell you everything." Cai says, "But I can at least tell you the important parts." He looks up at the sky before he begins. "Pani Rastra and Ot Ulut have always been the two most prosperous nations. The Earth Nomads were always too busy travelling to have any kind kind of new innovation, they've been living the way their ancestors lived for thousands of years. and the Air Kingdom -although not technically a kingdom- of the north, live in seclusion in the mountains, they worship their god, Luft, with such passion that they don't want for anything more."
I listen intently to Cai's words.
"But our kingdom, and your Duke's kingdom, we were at war far before a war ever really began." he continues, "It started with the invention of electricity, a man in Sarmoja, the capital of Ot Ulut invented the lightbulb. At first, the King of Ot Ulut was so proud of this inventor that he shared this invention with the world. His pride ceased however, when the the great inventors of Pani Rastra took his people's invention and improved upon it. He didn't like seeing our country growing in strength and innovation, especially when it was surpassing his own country."
Cai's words blew my mind. In this world I'm living through the industrial revolution, it's complications, and aftermath.
"The real war began 180 years ago." he said, and it felt like the floor was swept out from under me... That was so long ago.
"Why?" I couldn't help but ask even though I knew Cai would likely tell me anyway.
"Ot Ulut needed more Oil." he shrugged, and my mouth dropped.
"They had a small supply within their borders but it ran out quickly. Pani Rastra, on the the other hand, has a nearly infinite supply. Instead of trading for the oil like they should have done, they crossed our borders and claimed the area for themselves."
"You're kidding." I say with astonishment.
"I'm not." he answers, "Pani Rastra claimed that if Ot Ulut didn't retreat from our land and stop stealing our resources, that we would declare war."
"And let me guess," I say, "They didn't retreat."
"They did not." Cai agrees. "Since then, that area has been the war front. Soldiers fighting, people trying to collect oil amidst the war, the two different war sides attacking oil shipments that are attempting to leave. Sometimes the war comes to a standstill for months, neither side willing to make a move, other times war rages on and on."
My body aches at this news. It's the same... It's literally the same as earth: people fighting needlessly over something as stupid as fossil fuels...
"I suppose in the beginning, it was just a matter of greed from the King of Ot Ulut." Cai continues, "But nowadays, there is so much animosity held between the nations. Everyone, from both sides of the war, has lost a loved one in the war. And everyone, from both sides, blames the other kingdom. for their losses."
"Did you lose someone in the war?" I ask.
Cai looks at the ground, "Every male in our kingdom must serve in the war for at least two years." he says, "That includes royalty."
"So you fought in the war too?" I ask.
"Yes, and so did my brothers." He speaks quietly, and I fear I know what he might say next. "I am the fourth prince of my country now, but I used to be the sixth."
I suck in a breath, as I suddenly understand the pain that this war has caused. "You lost two brothers..." I speak my realization.
"Do you understand now why I would rather kill you than let some Duke from Ot Ulut win this war and take land that does not rightfully belong to them?" he asks, "Some Duke who fought on the side that killed my brothers? That killed countless others who are related to you and me?"
I gulp, but find it hard to swallow. "I understand." I whisper.
Cai releases a long and slow sigh and can see the pain on his face creasing the skin between his eyebrows. "It's not just about oil anymore." He says, "It's about pride, and it's about the people we lost."
I want to say something to console him. But I don't know what to say, so instead I reach across the stream and I take his hand. "I'm sorry." I say.
"That is why, you must never return to that Duke." he squeezes my hand and I see his pain turn to anger. "And even if he finds you again, you must not marry him." my heart feels like a bottomless hole, "If I can't take you life, then you must." he meets my eyes and his words scare me so much that my hands start to shake.
~Take my own life? for a war I only just learned about?~
Cai shakes his head at me as if he can read my thoughts on my forehead. "I can tell it will be hard for you to do that." he says.
~And that's exactly why Altan wants me specifically.~
"So, instead." he releases my hand. "I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself with your element."
I nod my head weakly at his words.
"Remember," he says to me sternly, "in a fight of the elements. Water always beats fire."