I followed behind Dilera, frowning as deeply as my face would let me as she led me through the Palace halls. My humongous guard followed in step behind us, shaking the paintings on the wall with each step. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and thought it slightly funny that I was a assigned such a large guard. He would likely be no match for the stealth and agility of Cai.
According to Cai, it was only one more day before I would make my escape. My plan had been to avoid seeing Altan at all costs until then.
I wanted to avoid him for more reasons than one: first, I didn't want him to figure anything out about my new escape plan. Based on my experience already, I was relatively certain that he could read minds to some degree and could figure out my plan just by spending time with me. And second: I didn't need to attach any more feelings into the relationship we shared. Even if he was a very nice and handsome guy with an adorable dimple, I was still being forced to marry him... I wasn't allowed to fall for my captor.
We entered the dinning hall, a room I had only been able to eat a few of my meals in, but according to Amah, would become a regular dinning spot after I became the Duchess. Altan sat at one end of the long table with a plate of cheeses, fruits, and crackers before him. He watched the three of us entering the room silently. The only sound was our footsteps echoing off the walls as we approached. With each step, I felt the nerves in my stomach intensify.
I hadn't seen Altan in two whole days... In reality that wasn't a long time, but to me, there hadn't been much consistency in my life since I arrived in this new world, the one and only consistency was Altan. From the first day, he had been there with his annoying dimple and his warm laugh. And it wasn't like I had missed him or anything... But when I saw him, I couldn't explain the feeling. Maybe I was excited to see him, or maybe I was just nervous. But there were definitely butterflies in my stomach.
The three of us came to a stop in front of Altan and he raised his eyes from the table and met mine. His gaze seemed extra intense, like hot coals gleaming in the bottom of a fire pit, as he stared at me silently for what seemed like far too long a period of time. By doing this, he effectively made the butterflies in my stomach multiply by ten.
Finally, he spoke, "Please leave us."
At his words, Dilera and my guard departed. We continued to stare at each other until their footsteps disappeared and we were alone.
"Sit." Altan gestured to the seat across the table from him.
I crossed my arms, "Aren't you worried I'll try to escape without my guard nearby?" I asked, deflecting his order.
I expected Altan to act annoyed with my words. I had been acting like a child these last few days; I had stormed to my room after our argument, then refused to see him for two days; and now in my first words to him since then, I was mocking him. Altan, however, didn't seem annoyed, he simply held my gaze and answered my question. "I'm not."
"You're not?" I cocked one hip to the side, displeased that I hadn't effectively been more annoying. "Cause I could run to the nearest balcony right now and jump out."
"I know you could." he nodded his head, "But I'm not worried, because I'm certain that I could catch you."
I scoffed, pulled at the chair in front of me, and sat down in probably the most unladylike way possible. I grabbed a piece of cheese and shoved it in my mouth, then looked back to Altan.
"Do you know what this platter is?" he asked me, unfazed by my mannerisms.
"A charcuterie board?" I grabbed a cracker.
"It's a wedding platter." he ignored my answer.
I dropped the cracker from my hand and considered spitting the crumbs of cheese that were still in my mouth onto the floor. "What does that mean?"
Altan picked up the cracker I dropped and took a bite of it. "As a part of our wedding ceremony, we will feed each other from the wedding platter. Have you heard of this tradition before?"
~Well that's a much better tradition than having sex in front of everyone.~
"look, your Grace," I pushed the wedding platter toward his side of the table, "I'm not really interested in small talk about our wedding. So, is there any important reason why I had to come see you tonight? Or can I just go back to my rooms?"
Altan sighed inwardly, then leaned his elbows on the table in front of him. "I do have to share some important news with you." he said, and I wondered if I had finally achieved my goal of annoying him, "for the next two to three days I will be out of the Palace."
My head jerked up at his words. "What?"
~Oh my god, it's happening.~
Cai had told me that he had planned to start some sort of ruckus in a neighboring town in and attempt to get Altan to leave the Palace and go help. He had said that he wasn't sure it would work. And with the wedding approaching so quickly, I wasn't sure it would work either. But it was, Altan was leaving and creating the perfect opportunity for me to escape.
"Don't worry." Altan reached for a grape on the plate and rolled it between his fingers. "I'll be back before the wedding. I won't expect you to greet any of our guests without me beside you."
I watched him roll the grape between his thumb and index finger, "When will you leave?"
"Eager for me to go?" he met my eyes again.
"You could say that, yes." I feigned indifference.
"I leave tomorrow morning." he said.
"Well," I stood from the table suddenly, "If that's all you have to tell me, then I will be on my way." I gave him a slight bow as if to say goodbye, "I'll see you when you return."
I began to turn toward the exit but stopped when he spoke. "I do have one request of you."
~I should ignore him. Don't respond. Just leave the room and act like you didn't hear him.~
"What is it?" I turned and felt the urge to stomp on my own foot.
Altan smiled, and again I wondered if he was able to read minds. "I would like to have another date with you before I leave."
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to scoff and whack this man in the face. I wanted to curse at him and flip him the bird. But.... I also kind of wanted to say yes. Instead, I only stared at him and his request.
When I didn't answer Altan tilted his head to the side as if to make his dimple more visible, then said, "Please." my frown deepened at how cute he looked, "I haven't seen my duchess for two days, and now I may have to go another three without her presence. I simply want to spend one evening with you."
~Dear god.~
"Fine," I returned to the table and put my hands down on it, "But today we are playing my game."
Altan's smile widened "Your game?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't understand why paper beats rock."
I shook my head, "Look it doesn't matter 'why' it beats rock, it just does. And if I do paper and you do rock, then that means I win and you have to take a shot!"
Altan seemed to enjoy the idea of the drinking game I showed him, however the basics of the game 'rock, paper, scissors' was proving more complicated than I expected to explain to him. "And 'a shot' is when I drink all of the wine that you pour into this glass?" he asked.
"yes." I said and began filling the glasses. According to Altan, the only kind of alcohol they had in the palace was wine. They didn't have shot glasses either, so I was stuck trying to estimate how much liquid was in a shot while pouring the wine into what I could only really describe as a chalice.
"And what exactly is the point of this game?"
"To get the other person drunk." I grinned. "The first one to get too drunk to play anymore is the loser." In my past life, I had always had a strong alcohol tolerance. But I wasn't sure what my new body's tolerance would be like... hopefully I wasn't a complete lightweight... but hopefully Altan was.
We played three rounds of 'rock paper scissors,' and Altan lost all of them. Surprisingly, he was sticking to scissors, the same way I did as a child. Although I had the feeling if we kept playing, Altan could quickly get better than me.
"Where exactly did you learn a game like this?" Altan raised an eyebrow at me after he took his shot.
I paused, "I'm going to add another part to the game," I said and held up my chalice to my nose to sniff the wine. It smelled... strong. "If you want to ask me a question, you have to take another shot."
Altan nodded his head, "Very well," he said and waited for me to pour the wine. He tipped back his chalice and swallowed the contents in three gulps. I watched and decided that I could probably pour a little less wine next round. "My first question is this: why don't you want to marry me?"
I laughed in disbelief, "I don't want to answer that."
"Now that's not fair," he pointed a finger at me over his chalice, "I took the shot, you have to answer."
"Well, then let me ask you this." I countered, "Why do you think I don't want to marry you?"
"That's not fair either," his eyes nodded to my drink, "If you ask a question you have to-"
"I know, I know." I rolled my eyes and threw back the chalice of wine. It went down in four painful gulps and burned like hard liquor.
~Yeah, that was like two shots, not just one. Also, what the hell do they make their wine from here? This doesn't even taste like grapes.~
Altan smiled at my post-shot face, "I don't think you have a reason to not want to marry me." he said answering my question.
"That's very humble of you." I remarked sarcastically while refilling both of our chalices.
"I don't!" He responded in defense, "I'm offering you a warm home, and plenty of food and clothes. I'm offering you a position of importance and a title of respect as my first wife and the Duchess. And it's not like I would be offering you a loveless marriage either. I feel like, through the time we've spent together, that I have been able to thoroughly show my affection for you. Do you not agree?"
I pushed the chalice toward him, "That was another question." He swallowed the shot quickly and waited for my answer.
I sighed, "I agree that you are offering me all these things. But, these are not the things I am looking for."
"What are you looking for, then?" as he asked the question, he reached across the table and drank the wine from my glass.
I paused, trying to think of the best way to answer and also wondering idly how Altan had now taken 6 large shots of whatever this liquor was and didn't seem effected. "I'm looking for freedom, Your Grace." I finally answered, "I wish to dictate my own future... I also wish to marry for love, like the people of the earth nomads. Yes, you have shown me your affection, but I have shown you very little of my own in return. Is it too much to ask that I also have feelings for you?"
Altan refilled the glasses and pushed one to me. I took a shot for my question, and then he answered. "It is not." he shook his head and silenced. I thought perhaps he might ask another question. Or maybe even say he would give me the freedom I sought. But instead, he stayed quiet and stared at the empty chalice in front of him.
He looked... sad.
~Dammit heart, stop caring for him.~
He pushed his empty chalice to me and I absentmindedly filled it while watching him. I wanted to know what was going on his head. Had my words actually made an impact on him?
"So then," Altan looked up at me and his gaze looked far away, "how can I win your affection?" With his question he took another shot of wine and I realized as I watched him that his cheeks were a shade of red. Had they always been like that? Or was it because of the alcohol already? Is that why his eyes looked a little glazed over too?
~He must be a lightweight.~
Or, well, he probably didn't have to be a lightweight to feel the effects of such a strong wine. Besides, how many shots has he taken so far? I looked at the wine bottle and noticed it was near empty. I had only taken two shots... that meant that Altan had nearly drank the whole bottle by himself. Although he wasn't acting drunk yet, or maybe that was because we had been drinking so fast, maybe the alcohol hadn't caught up to him yet. "You should probably slow down on the shots, You Grace." I said and nodded toward the bottle.
"Answer my question, please." he replied and his voice came out slower.
~Oh snap, I think the alcohol may be hitting him now.~
"You want to know how to win my love." I restated his words and made sure not to accidentally pose it as a question. "I don't know how to answer that." I said, shrugging. "It's not just a matter of doing a certain thing. That's not how love works."
Altan rubbed his hand across his forehead wearily, and I noticed his skin was turning more red. "What if I were to give you whatever you ask for? I could give you everything. Make you the most lavish duchess in the land." he began to bring his chalice to his lips but I reached out and stopped him midway.
"That's enough, Your Grace." I said, "I already won the game, I think you're pretty drunk."
Altan paused as if in disbelief, then as if realizing I was right, he smiled at my words. It was a genuine dorky kind of smile that I assumed was probably due to his intoxication. "You beat me." he laughed.
"Yes, I did," I laughed too, "I guess I was expecting you to be able to hold your liquor better."
Altan smiled, then slowly his smile dropped from his face. A frown began to crease his forehead, and then he dropped his head to the table. It happened so fast that I thought for a brief second that he was passing out and I jumped to my feet.
Instead, he simply lay his face on the table and covered his head with his hands. "I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be."
"What?"
~Oh my god, he's way drunker than I thought.~
I walked to his side of the table, "What are you talking about?"
Altan groaned, and he reminded me of the way a child sounds, "You wanted a man who could hold his liquor better." he answered. "And you probably also wanted a man who wouldn't force you to marry him."
"Your Grac-"
"You probably wanted a Water Mage too." he spoke into the wooden table and I assumed the position was not very comfortable for his nose. "No wonder you won't love me." he whined.
"Your Grace, you are acting like a child." I put my hand on his back and patted him, because I wasn't sure what else I was supposed to do.
"Well, it's true, isn't it?" he turned so his cheek was against the table and his face was looking at mine.
"No, it's not." I said. "I don't care that you can't hold your liquor, and I didn't want to marry a Water Mage." I purposefully left out the part about him forcing me to marry him.
Altan silenced at my words, as if they were a revelation, "So I have a chance, still?"
"What?" I blinked.
He sat up and looked at me with puppy dog eyes, "So I still have a chance to make you fall in love with me?"
I shook my head, although I didn't answer.
~It's probably not best to crush his spirits when he's so drunk~
"I think It's time that you go to bed, Your Grace." I said instead.
Altan frowned at my words. "Bed?"
"Mmmhmm," I pulled at him in an attempt to get him to stand.
"Will you take me to bed, Azul?" He asked, and again he reminded me of a child.
I looked around the room at his words. Dilera, my guard, and anyone else who could help was not around. "I guess I will." I answered, then Altan was suddenly standing beside me.
"Jeez, why are you so tall?" I looked up at him as he stood beside me, "Come on." I said walking past him." he followed behind me and nearly fell over after his third step.
I somehow ended up hauling him through the Palace with him nearly laying on my shoulder. "You are quite the lightweight, Your Grace." I said, "But your body is so freaking heavy."
~Seriously, I'm basically giving him a piggyback ride at this point.~
Altan's feet skidded to a stop as we began up the stairs that led to our chambers. "Azul."
"What is it?" it was his first coherent sounding word since we had left the dinning hall. Maybe the alcohol was slowly wearing off...
"I want honey." he whispered beside my ear.
"What?" my head jerked around to find his eyes blazing bright yellow.
"I want to taste the honey again." he repeated himself and his hand was suddenly cupping my cheek. The realization of what he was saying came crashing into my skull when I saw his eyes looking at my lips.
Honey... that's what he said my lips tasted like.
A nervous chill hit my skin with my understanding of his intentions and with the memory of the kiss that now seemed all-too-real with Altan standing so close to me.
"Y-Your Grace." I pushed him away with one hand and held him at arm's length away. "We can't-Not here."
Altan frowned, and he was still very drunk. "What about in my room?"
I shook my head, "Not there either."
Altan sighed and reached for my hand that was holding him away from me. He grabbed it with both of his soft, large, hands and brought it to his lips. I wasn't sure what he was doing; I wasn't sure if I should pull away or smack him, but before I had time to decide, he kissed me there, in the middle of my palm, and I felt the feeling of his soft lips all through my skin.
"I can't wait till we're married." He spoke to the skin of my palm before planting another light kiss there. "Then I can taste the honey every night." his kisses made a trail up the length of my hand and over the calluses of my fingers. "I can taste every part of you then." with his words he looked away from my hand, and as our eyes met, I felt the tips of my fingers warm as another part of his mouth met my skin. He dipped my fingers into his mouth and bit down ever-so-slightly.
My breath hitched, and I felt my stomach twist.
~What is he doing? What am I doing? Why am I letting him? And why do I feel.... oh god.... turned on right now?~
"Would you like that?" he asked me and brought my hand to fit the curve of his cheek as he stepped closer to me.