When I opened my eyes, the sun had fully risen and was shining into my room from my balcony.
~Why do I feel like I didn't even sleep?~
I sat up in bed and looked around my chambers.
~That's right. It's because I couldn't get stupid Altan out of my head last night.~
To be honest, I was surprised I had even fallen asleep at all.
I just kept replaying the events of that night over and over in my head. I couldn't get Altan. his flaming eyes, and his dangerous words out of my head. Even now, I blushed remembering his touch.
I sighed and rubbed my eyes as I got out of bed.
~At least I didn't actually do anything with him... That would have... Complicated things.... As if things weren't complicated enough as it is.~
I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of my thoughts and made my way to the breakfast that Dilera had left out for me. Based on how cold my tea was, I had slept in longer that I thought. That also meant that Altan was likely already gone.
He was gone to another city and I would be gone before he returned.
~I wonder if his hangover was bad this morning, or if he remembers anything from last night.~
I blushed with that thought, and hoped that he couldn't remember anything.
~Although, it doesn't matter if he does... I'm not going to see him ever again anyway.~
Suddenly, my heart ached.
~Why do I feel this way?~
I stuffed some bread in my mouth and wished I could rid myself of these emotions.
~So what if he's nice, and handsome, and sexy, and polite even when he's drunk..... ~
"Arghh!" I ruffled my hair in frustration.
~No! I don't like him! I don't even care a little bit about him.... He just has a really hot body and that's why I let him do that stuff to me last night. That's why I didn't stop him even when I could have.~
I blushed again at my thoughts and chugged a glass of lukewarm tea.
It was then that I noticed a piece of paper sitting at the end of my bed.
"When did that get there?" I found my feet taking me to the paper without thought.
It was a simple piece of paper with my name written on the top of it.
A letter.
~Shit, it's from Altan, Isn't it?~
I fumbled with the letter as I opened it.
It was from Altan… It looked like he had written it before he left that morning.
"Azul," It read, "I wanted to apologize for my actions last night."
~Holy jeez... he's apologizing?~
The letter continued.
"It would be easy for me to blame it on the alcohol, but it would also be cowardly, and I wouldn't be taking responsibility for the decisions I made. In all honesty, last night I wanted you. I wanted all of you. Even now, I still want all of you."
I swallowed and felt my cheeks flush deeper.
"But I will never force you to have me. Instead, I will wait for you."
I attempted to scoff but found myself so eager to read the rest of the letter that I couldn't do it with as much disdain as I wanted to.
"And I hope that in our marriage I can give you the things you desire from life. I hope to give you the freedom you desire, and the marriage of love that you desire as well.
I will return to Kiziljer as soon as I can, and we will be wed when I return. I hope in the meantime you won't harbor any anger toward me.
Yours' from now until forever,
Altan."
I read the note twice more before folding it and placing it on my bedside table.
~That stupid man.~
I breathed deeply.
~He's looking forward to our wedding, but he doesn't know that he'll never see me again.~
I sat down on my bed and sighed deeply.
~God... I don't know how to feel about anything anymore.~
"Why, why, why?" I threw my back onto the bed, "Why do I have to have feelings for him?"
~No, I need to forget about him. I'm leaving tomorrow morning, and I'm not turning back!~