Now let's discuss the 1st place winner of The Confused Bisexual Olympics, Acheus, lol.
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Why is Ace totally cool with having an affair?
He deals with his problems through sex, and has low self-worth and self-confidence issues, thanks to Candice. He's always worrying what others think, worried that people will judge him because he's bisexual.
He finds out people don't care that he swings both ways like a pendulum. People don't like him because he's immature and dating a married man, or ....because they're racist.
The last one is a whole entire different conversation, lol.
On top of that, Ace cheats at everything.
He cheats at school exams when he was younger, he cheats on physical exams, he cheats while running with Levi when there is no need. He left his first boyfriend for Candice, but that's because she's emotionally manipulative, but it definitely plays a factor. Before he knew Titus(Deceit in disguise) was a monster, he had an affair the entire time with Ibis...
He bases his self-worth on his partners, and Levi is a pretty good choice because he is rich, powerful, and good-looking, therefore it means he is as well. Ace does genuinely care for Levi, and Levi does love Ace, but Levi is obsessed. He's had the same crush from a guy he met when he was ten. Then when he meets him at the academy when he's fourteen it starts all over again.
It's so worrying and obvious to everyone else, but Ace is so smooth brained he never notices.
And that's why their relationship works, LOL.
Ace is a total himbo who cannot notice the bad things that Levi does, and is a more emotionally open person. Levi therefore finds it easier to be closer to him and doesn't feel judged around Ace because he's... a himbo and never notices that the stuff he does sometimes is a little fucked up.
Levi is more mature than Ace and helps him be a little more responsible, a little more mature, and caring for someone else makes him more emotionally empathetic. Even though Levi shows that he cares for him in wierd ways, its a start, because he's emotionally stupid.
On top of that, I highly doubt Levi could ever date someone smarter than him due to his complex. >_>
Unlike Alto and Nero, Ace is not dependent on everything for Levi. Yeah, Levi helped him get a job, but Ace is perfectly capable of finding one on his own, and he's upper middle class, educated. In one part of volume one he mentions to Ronnie that his house is paid off, his father left him insurance money, and Ace most likely doesn't have to work for a few years.
Ace is very irresponsible and spoiled, so their relationship is weird, not codependent(close to it), but its still wrong, because they're having an affair, LOL.
I also wanted to explore the stupid, and very common misconception that bisexuals are cheaters. No. They're not...there are plenty of other characters in this series that are bisexual and they are faithful to their partners, as in real life. Ace isn't unfaithful because he's bisexual, it's because he thinks that it's okay, because if the person he's cheating with is better than the last, then he subconsciously thinks he has gained more self-worth.
He is so unaware of this that he has a serious persecution complex, not even understanding that he's disliked for dating a married man, until someone tells him. The Persecution OlympIcs ™ is very much alive and well with various different characters through Volume Two, but thankfully Ace is self-reflective.
He learns that his consequences have actions and hurts others, that his actions reflect his character, not his sexuality nor looks, and that all along nobody cared that he was different, but he was too self-conscious to notice, hurting himself in the end. His stupid decisions have finally bit him in the ass, because his father isn't there to protect him, he's now an adult and has to deal with consequences, and he's not handling it that well, lol.
Ace also believes that many of his actions are fine because he's a "good guy". He's not the only one who thinks that, a lot of people in the Defense Program think that way, and as more time goes on it's revealed that that they were trained to have a "certain kind of thinking," but life isn't black and white.
Both Nero and Ace have to grow up, and they can't handle it. They're two sides of the same coin, both have trauma but react to it differently thus shaping their lives.
Ace's reaction to trauma is socially acceptable, therefore he has more friends, is more likeable, and therefore has more social support, and functions better in life.
Ace clearly is depressed and might have PTSD, but since he deals with it through bad choices in partners and refusing to go outside when his depression gets bad, people are more willing to support a mental illness that doesn't have the "hard to deal with traits".
Nero's reaction to trauma isn't socially acceptable, therefore his circle of friends is smaller, have less moral hang ups, he is harder to like, has less social support, and functions worse in life.
As I write this, it is May. It is Mental Health Awareness Month. Everyone is supporting those with mental illnesses, because they want them to improve! It's such an easy concept to get behind.
If anyone met a real-life Nero, I highly doubt they would stick around him for long. He has three different mental illnesses, was abused, and is three steps away from becoming a high-functioning alcoholic. He has no relationship with his son and his relationship with his husband is trashier than the back of a 7-Eleven.
You would have to be very kind, and very patient to realize that he is a few colors short of a full rainbow if you met a real Nero.
No one should be forced to hang around someone if they can't handle their mental illness, and that's fair, because some people can handle it, other's can't, and that's valid.
What's sad is the complete and total virtue signaling, when the reality is that 'mental illness awareness', is only confined to people with socially acceptable reactions like Ace, not like Nero, because "if they can handle it, why can't you?"
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Levi Being "Back On His Bullshit"-Mary Jane
Levi finally nutted up, but it seemed like he took ten steps forward and then nine back.
I mentioned earlier that Ace and Levi and parodies of manga stereotypes when I first had the ideas to write them. Rich son of CEO, blessed main character, yadda yadda. Then when the story became serious I had to understand why someone who has everything would turn into a total nutter.
Levi's manipulation by his father is now much more understandable, and now that he has the power to fight him, the only thing stopping him is mental and emotional issues.
Which is basically where he started, lol.
Levi was already physically strong enough to beat the ever-loving shit out of his father, but Maximillian used to physically and emotionally abuse him as a kid, and now as an adult, he financially abuses him as well. Mary Jane mentions that 'He used to beat on you' and the moment Levi does something his father doesn't like, he strips all his money away from him. The chapter sounded like it was Mary Jane, but it wasn't. She's hurt but she isn't cruel (I should fix that, sorry, lol)
Levi isn't physically afraid of his father, it's completely psychological at this point.
I know plenty of college-aged students that don't dare breathe the wrong way so their parents sign their FAFSA forms so they can go to college, this is in a similar vein.
Yes, Levi is a shit head who has done horrible things, but as time goes on it's clear his insecurities aren't his, he has no idea where he got them from, just like Ace. They were pushed onto him by his father, by the strange concept of masculinity in society.
That's why Levi is always emotionally stupid and angry.
It's not that all men are emotionally stupid and angry, it's that Levi has become skewed to the point that he feels he needs to excel at gender norms to be perceived as heterosexual or manly. There is sociological term for it compulsory heterosexuality(het comp), where people believe they need to fit some sort of ill-defined gender norms to be defined as straight.
Which makes no fucking sense lol.
Who defines what gender norms? Is there a convention? Do we find the manliest men, the most feminine women, and ask their scientific opinions, and grade everything on a scale?
How silly.
Levi is always working out, which is fine, but he does it so often he doesn't take a break. He rarely sleeps, is obsessed with looking weak, and always feels a need to be in charge, because that's what men do (what he thinks). If someone rarely slept, was worried about what others thought about them 24/7 and is exhausted, they would eventually snap. Levi's constant state of mild irritation is normal considering his odd habits.
Even when Levi accepts that he is attracted to Ace, he still tries to define their relationship in heterosexual norms.
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"I feel like the roles are being reversed," Levi mumbled.
"What roles?"
"You know," Levi said, nodding, raising his eyebrows, trying to insinuate something, but Ace was not the sort of person to read between the lines.
"I don't know, tell me," Ace groaned.
"Like, now I'm the lady, and you're the man."
Ace made a pfft noise, and then made an ugly grin once he saw Levi was serious, teasing him, asking where his dress was.
"I don't want to be the woman," Levi mumbled.
"Levi, neither of us is the woman or the man. We're both men. You're gay."
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Levi is the sort of person who would say "whenever I get angry I would just run it all out" , if he were a real person and Ace has played sports his entire life. They are tall dudes who are built yet they are worried people think they're girly for liking men, or that they aren't "straight enough" lol.
Even multiple readers have told me they imagine Ace to look skinny or girly!
WHAT!?
Filthy degenerates and your femboys. (╯ ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)╯┻━┻
I mean whatever you're into is cool, but he'll be drawn girly for the manga version if its any consolation.
ANYWAY.
When he finally understands that this was meaningless he and Ace finally become closer and he understands that he had been emotionally stunting himself, hurting himself and Mary Jane for ages, just because he thought being a man was whatever stupid thing he couldn't define but made up in his head.
The only thing stopping him from not being a shithead is to finally stop copying his father's shitty behavior.
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Mary Jane, Who is Tired of Levi's Bullshit™
Mary Jane is one of the few characters in the entire series that is a straight man.
No that's not because she's straight, lol.
In comedy, a straight man is the one who is sane, pointing out inconsistencies for jokes. Other straight men are Fenton, Amy, and Johnny. If everyone was crazy it wouldn't be that funny, just odd. That's why they're always frustrated when everyone is so freaking wierd.
A great example is Shinpachi, from Gintama, and his panicky reactions.
Mary Jane is a hard worker, she is competent, a leader, albeit a little narcisstic. She loves Levi, her family, and her best friends, and unlike the other characters she isn't up to crazy nonsense, she is living her life like a normal person. That's why she's so angry when she's surrounded by idiots who happen to skate by in life with super powers.
And yet she gets the shit end of the stick.
When I read a lot of shounen-ai stories I'm always confused about why the girl who falls in love with a guy who finally understands that he's gay is portrayed as being a total bitch. Yes, Mary Jane is shown to be domineering in most scenes, but most of the scenes she has appeared in has been scenes of conflict. She was fighting monsters throughout all of the first Volume, but the moment Levi shows up she's a normal human being who misses her boyfriend.
In Volume 1.5 she literally stages a crime to protect him because she loves him, and he betrays her.
In Volume 2 Mary Jane catches on that he's cheating on her or hiding something from her, and instead of being angry at first she says 'she wishes that he trusted her enough to tell her the truth.' When Levi finally admits he is having an affair with Ace, she isn't even angry with Ace, she knows her husband so well that she assumes, Levi manipulated him.
Mary Jane has known Levi her entire life, has done nothing but loved him, and he has lied to her, repeatedly. She has forgiven him multiple times, but now she is at her breaking point. But for some reason, whenever I read most stories with gay romances, all "Mary Janes" are bitches.
So I wanted to get rid of that. I wanted to show people having sane reactions to two characters doing something immoral. It's really crazy how a writer will show the two MC's riding off into the sunset leaving a woman standing at the altar heartbroken... like damn. Then everyone expecting her to be happy for her ex and his mistress because they came out.
What the fuck?
No.
Everyone is rightfully upset.
Levi's mother is upset with his behavior, his sister refuses to take a side, he gets cut off financially. Mary Jane's family is angry with Levi too, and the other characters have valid reasons for disliking the affair. Sierra tells Ace the relationship is doomed, Fenton is unsupportive of Ace's relationships that are unhealthy and the other characters trust them a lot less. Most of the characters still care for Levi and Ace but don't make excuses for their bad behavior which is normal... none of this nonsense about demanding Mary Jane should be happy for them.
Mary Jane in future scenes will be around more often, and she will be kind to everyone else, even Fenton who is Ace's best friend, but never Ace.
Because the expectation that people who have had partners lie to them should accept it is nuts.
Don't worry, she'll get her own revenge one day, just not today, lol.
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Alabaster Almuz
JEFFREY EPSTEIN, I mean, ALABASTER ALMUZ DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF.
Okay, now that I got that out of my system....
Alabaster Almuz is based off of almost every sexual deviant I have met in my life or I have seen on television. The very words he uses in almost every scene are the same words I have had abusers tell me in my own life. He is an amalgamation of perversion personified. His house is based off on Jeffrey Epstein's NYC mansion, with the weird sexual decorations, the evil lair filled with narcissism, and the fucking kids he keeps in the basement. Who knows if Epstein kept kids in his basement, but I know he probably did, and there's plenty of proof he committed deviant and sexual acts inside his home.
Almuz's face is never specifically described because I wanted everyone to imagine their own Almuz. When I draw the manga I want to have his face never shown, I want him to be seen as some sort of mythical figure...and then when he is finally defeated, will we see his face, and he is nothing but a small, regular, defeated person, not immortal.
He is a respected member in his community, he is well liked, described as mysterious and slightly handsome, and no one ever suspects him of being a serial rapist or murderer because he has specifically inserted himself into places in society to have better access to his victims.
When Almuz purchases Nero the entire premise seems absolutely ridiculous. Why the flying fuck would he be buying a prince in a different realm? Nah, its' not. Sexual tourism is a real thing. Many people go overseas to purchase sex, sometimes legally or illegally, sometimes from people who are of age or underaged. When Nero is sold by his family for cash and to see him suffer it's for various reasons. Most children that are sold or sexually exploited are done so by their family members.
From the fantasy perspective in my story, the immeasurable pain of betraying a small child's trust also gave them more power, as pain gives them more magic. They had no problem hurting Nero, because they never saw him as human but as a disposable wet wipe.
Almuz's ability, to harden himself and to be invincible is a metaphor for how people like him are untouchable in society, that they go their entire lives without being punished. There are plenty of Alabaster Almuz's that will never be caught, and even if they are they will continue to get away with what they have done. That also brings me to the children...
I'm pretty sure everyone hates me for the deaths of Azara, Diamond, and Natalia(Pumpkin), and all the children inside Almuz's ridiculous sex dungeon mansion. But their deaths are also symbolic as well. How many people that grow up on the streets make it out okay?
Nero stopped selling himself but married a rich man instead, which might arguably be a different form of selling one's own body, but he at least did it on his own terms. He is slightly unhinged, makes rash decisions, and can only function because Alto keeps covering his multiple bad decisions and buying whatever he wants.
Most people don't make it out okay, and when they do sometimes they're a Nero who is a little off, or an Azara who is mentioned to be a high functioning alcoholic in one scene by Alto, or people who cannot see a future in their lives like Diamond and Natalia because for so long they had been preoccupied with making it to the next minute, hour, or day. Even Adonis who is the least crazy of them all, who grew up rich, sold drugs thinking he was cool as a teenager and ended up with drug charges, becomes a career criminal because what else is there to do at that point (what he believes)?
Crest Manor, Almuz's mansion, crushes them all.
The perversions of a man literally kills all those men, women and children, and if they lived they would be horribly damaged.
And that was the point. If someone noticed all along what Almuz was doing then they would have been rescued long ago, not buried underneath his sins, paying the price for it, whether or not they live or die due to his actions.
This part is kind of traumatizing tbh... fair warning.
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I have had close friends who were sexually abused by family members who until this day cannot listen to certain forms of music, who cannot wear certain articles of clothing nor cannot watch certain films because they will literally break down. A friend of mine cannot listen to The Beatles because her father used to molest her and play their albums to cover up the sounds of the actions.
I had a friend all through high school that was a prostitute because her family abandoned her for having a child at the age of eleven. The very glaring and obvious indicator that someone was abusing her, the fact that someone had a child at eleven, and they abandoned her still hurts me to this day when I remember it. She came to school on and off, she became hypersexual, to deal with what happened to her, and until around halfway through high school did anyone notice she was selling herself.
I could literally write thousands upon thousands of words about these stories.
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I'm not saying that people who were abused in any way would be better off dead than surviving trauma.
My point is that there is a dark truth, that there is no such thing as "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." My friends and everyone else in the world who has survived an Alabaster Almuz is strong in one sense, but it still does leave a part of you missing.
But the one thing that does stand out is that someone out there is truly trying to help the children, even if they aren't going about it right sometimes.
Peter Forthight's descent into madness is very off-putting, but he spends the entirety of Volume 1.5 and 2 attempting to bring down Ace, who he perceives to be evil and Almuz who he knows to be evil.
In the chapter Extra Long Handshake, Hairy Harry, the manager of a seedy motel finds out Nero is underaged and stops him from going off with a guy who will probably chop his body up and leave it inside his basement, and would rather him steal things instead because the risk is a lot less dangerous. The residents of the motel then proceed to whack the pervert in the forest nearby.
The entire premise of that chapter seems absolutely nuts, but if anyone who is reading this has lived in that kind of neighborhood, they can attest that if you live in "the sort of place that the police won't come around ", everyone in the neighborhood would rather take matters into their own hands by beating the living daylights out of the perpetrator, running him out of town, and sometimes one of the shadiest people in the neighborhood will even offer to kill them.
I have lived in that sort of town for several years, and a few times some of these shady people have offered me... "favors" (I have always said no, Lol) whenever someone hurts me. The very idea that people are so willing to turn to violence to protect each other because they believe the police has abandoned them is frightening and sad.
There are people who are trying to help others going about it the right way.
Why else would Peter Forthright continue to keep trying through the legal channels to arrest Almuz and Ace? Why else would the Defense Program be created to help protect others who cannot protect themselves? Not everything is doom and gloom in the world, and if people want to stop the Alabaster Almuzs of the world, all it takes is someone noticing and saying something, and doing the minimum.
Because if someone said something and helped, there would be a lot less Alabasters walking free, a lot less damaged people like Nero that are living, and a fewer dead children and survivors like Azara.
It is hard to stand up to the Alabaster Almuzs of the world, it is very hard, especially if you are a victim, but if you are ever afraid please remember what always happens at the end of all my stories.
The characters don't defeat their demons, real, imagined, or inner, until they reach out and ask their friends for help.