Month passed. And thinks are normal. Tryouts get well and we all do are choosen but I back out so did Zoe. Lily also want to do that but we told her not to. She will cheer for Tony. And like this she is agreed. Becca so was choosen.
After that when I get home. When I walk to my bedroom I meet my worse nightmare. If could I said..
" What the hell what are you doing here." I yelled at him i am seriously not in mood of talking to him. Or face him. He is already done enough.
" You think that I will leave you after your little stunt. " He said closing our distance. I started to making distance between us. I don't have nothing to do with him.
" What happened now. Get got your tongue huh.." he said to me. Please don't cross your limit Tony. I don't want to you to hurt Lily. She is nice girl. And I don't want to see her broken.
" Answer me god damn it.." he yelled at me. He is lucky that no one is home. If my mom or dad by chance at home. He never dare to talk to me like this. Not ever..
" Fuck you Anthony.. go away. Stay away from me. " I said to him. And he look hurt even I said to him. He stop for second and look at me that I really said this to him..
"You hate me that much. My presence are that disgusting you that you can't even look at me in lunch time." He said to me. He did notice that. Oohhkky..
" It's not like that.. " before I clear things he cut me of..
" Than what it is. It if because of that Jacob kid. Did he make you happy more than me that's why you stop talking to me or looking at me. " He said to me.
" How's he in bed. Did he pleasure you same that I do it to you. Now you like he's crook don't you.. " seriously. How he can't think low of me. He think that I am fucking Jacob. Seriously Tony.
" Answer me. Did you touch you like the way I touch. You the way I feel you. Did you enjoy it with him Medellin answer me. " He shout at me. And again punch the wall. Why he is doing it.
" Stop.. stop it damn it.." i said to him. Tears come out to my checks. He didn't even know that how much he just hurt me saying those hurtful things.
" You think that I am fucking him. You think this that low to me Anthony. " I said to him. Than he feel guilty what he just said.
" Who i am sleeping whom I am not this is none of your god damn business you hear me. My biggest mistake is that I agree to sleep with you. Now i am regret it.. you hear me I am regretting it all of it.. I am regretting what I did with you.. " I shout at him. And sobbing hard. He show my pleace. I never thought that someone will said those things. He cross he's limites. I never forgive him. He started to come closer me but now I really feel disgusting. I wiped my tears and look at him with angrily.
" Get out of my house. And never show me your fucking face. You hear me. I don't want to see you. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much Anthony. " I said to him. Like this is that last think I see tears come out to he's eyes. I never see him that my words hurt him that. He get mad. I don't . I don't have to said this. I also know that I say those words to hurting him. I never see any guy to cry. And Tony. I never see him that he ever cry for anyone. I wanted to stop him and hug me. And kiss the hell out of him. But I know what done is done. And this time it hav to be.. he hurt me.. and i never expact that he said those words to me..
He walk away to my house angrily. After that I never see him..
Month passed. I never see him. I did ask Lily but she also don't know where is he. She did miss him. Chase also not showing up. Sometimes he did show up. But when we talk about Tony he didn't answer that question.
Did he seriously not going to be show me he's face. Now I feel guilty that i said to him. I hurt him. I hurt him so damn much. I saw him last how much I hurt him and he cry to fornt of me and leave my house angrily.
I didn't tell anything about it. But I started to distance with everyone. I do spend time with them. We do go for dinner and sleep over but i don't feel like I am living like the way I live my life before.
Everything look like dull. I missing him terribly. I want to call him and talk to him and hear he's Voice. Or gorgeous face. I want to touch him. The whole month I live like I am dead body.
Jacob did try to make me happy. And also ask me to spend time with him. But I declined to him. I know I am hurting he's feeling. I have to talk to him. I can't hurt people more. I am hurting him pushing him away. When I am the first one who approach him. Woh miss him. Show him that I am interested in him. Now I am ignoring him. That is so not good.
Lily did try call him. But he's call go straight to the voicemail. After that we decided to go to he's home. It's not my idea. It's Zoe's idea. And I am just happened to go with them. And I don't mind with that. When we searched he's mansion. The security guard told us that he's boss means Tony not here. He is not leaving here anymore.
After hearing that we all are go to our own home. I don't know where to go where to find him. I do know places that he will be there. But I don't want to go. When I know i am the one who told him to go away.
It's killing me and hurting me. What I did is wrong. He don't deserve it whatever he did that day it's for me but the way he talk shit. I agree that that hurt me so much but this is hurting more. That he is not here. I can't look at him see him. I hate myself. I am the reason he left. Because of me he also hurting Lily what she did to him. Is that her fault that she is fall for him. I feel sorry for her. I feel guilty. Should I tell her. I don't think so after knowing it she will ever talk to me. She will hate me first sure. After bonding our little friendship. That will all go end.
After that incident. Cassy always pick on me. And always try to insult me and my friend's. Talk shit about me that me and Tony both are fucking behind Lily's back. Which is true I know but still we stop. We stop when I feel that Lily think that he is cheating 9n her.. He is serious about lily. And i don't want to be reason to there break-up.
Jake and Zoe are becoming close to each other. And they are getting stronger. When Becca and chase keep fighting. Why because she think that chase is hiding think from her. Which he is. He didn't tell us where is Tony. I never ask him. I am scared to ask him where he is. What if I ask him he will tell me. Or just ignore me like he do with others.
School is getting boring. I don't like it to come here. I miss everything about him. They way we both spend time each other. Everything about him hurt me. And most important thing is that i can't tell anyone about it.
I still pretend that I don't care. But I do. I fucking do. I never will accept this before. But now I am accepting this that he's absence hurt me. I am still doesn't over him. I do have feelings for him. And I want him to be mine. But I know I can't have him. But do want to start again what we have before. I do want to spend time with him. To take care of him. To play with he's hair. To make him cum for me. I feed food to him. To go to different different places with him. And try different different positions with him. What is happen in pass I do want to do it again.. I do fucking missed it so much.
He is making me frustrated. I am frustrated. And I want him. Today I am going to be there and look for him. I can't just like this anymore. I want to see him. And today no matter what I am going to be see him. Find him.
I text my mom that there is party and i am going with friend's and I will stay with on of girl's home. Which mom agree with me.
After the school. I quickly said goodbye to everyone. I know they are going to party. I said them that I am not in mood. And the didn't force me. I get in the car and started to search to him. I hope that he will be there.