Chapter 9~~~ Doubt (Part 1)
Lucia's POV
"Don't you think of going anywhere in the next few days, and there will be no fighting whatsoever. You may be healing at a much faster rate than majority of people and angels I have treated bit it's still going to take a while and reopening it will only the process longer. And I'm not sure about the poison that was in the wound, I'm assuming your body found a way to deal with it, but seems its nothing I've never seen before I want to keep an eye on it. Is that clear, Lucia?" A sigh slips from my lips before I have a chance to suppress it and John's eyes harden as they sharpen their focus on me. I dip my head in acceptance despite my dislike for the idea, noting that I do that the movement causes only a slight burning in my back, barely noticeable compared to the raging fire it was before the doctor worked his magic.
A teasing light enters John's eyes as a smile tugs up the corners of his lips. "Nicholas, Razakiel," he turns his gaze to the two, where they stand just in the open door, "I trust you'll ensure she'll get into no trouble?" This time I make no effort to suppress the groan that escapes me, murdering the two of them in my mind as they readily agree to his demand.
"Come on Luc, you know we just want you to get better. Right?" Nich asks, his voice bright and teasing, "The sooner you get better the sooner Lucifer loses his opportunity to catch you while you're weak." I roll my eyes as he moves closer to me, "Not that I would ever let him take you anyway." His words send a smile skittering across my face, despite the knowledge that I'm probably still a more capable fighter than he is even while I'm injured
"Fine. But can we at least go for a walk; I've been living in hell for days."
"Of course." He grins as he reaches down to grip my hand in his, "let's go", and before the words are even out of his mouth, he's towing me towards the door.
"Um, actually, Nich, I wanted Zak to come too"
"Him? Why would you want him to come? I didn't think you liked the bodyguard." His voice holds a hint of irritation as he continues dragging me away from the room. I hesitate for a moment, wondering if I'm mistaken; Nich is never irritated or angry. But as he continues his relentless movement toward the outside world, I dismiss the thought, giving in and following alongside him. A quick glance back gets me a glimpse of Zak, who clearly having heard our exchange, is following languidly a few paces behind, the smug look on his face sending my mind into turmoil. Didn't Nich just insult him? Why in the hell is he smiling about?
"Yeah, yes him…. I need to ask him about some things." I tell Nich in response to his none too kind question, still slightly baffled by the two men, "And for fuck sake Nich be nice, he helped get us out of hell remember? I mean seriously, you could pretend you're grateful!" I practically growl at my best friend as thoughts of still being trapped in that bottomless pit with Lucifer fills my mind. I don't really care whether they hate each other and its none of my business why, but I will always be grateful that Zak got us out of there.
As the thought crosses my mind, the man himself makes his presence known, by moving up alongside me and taking my spare hand in his.
"You're welcome, sweetheart," he whispers in my ear and moments later I feel a sharp tug on my arm as Nich randomly decides I'm not moving fast enough. Noticing the smirk on Zak's face I roll my eyes and attempt to snatch my hand back, before I realize exactly what he just did.
"Did you just read my thoughts again?" I ask my mind reeling as I process what's happening, "I thought you said I was a shield?"
You are, his voice speaks in my mind and I stumble slightly at his words and send my gaze his way, "But your shields been flickering up and down since we got here. It's probably just because of the stress of being injured and your lack of practice with shielding; it won't take much to improve."
"It usually doesn't take any practice at all, shielding yourself is supposed to be automatic, I know it was for me." Nich's voice joins the conversation, as he slows his pace until his walking alongside us, his grip on my hand tightening briefly as he speaks.
"Yeah. Well you didn't suffer a serious injury and a severe blood loss immediately after your latent talent, which was blocked your entire life, was finally released." Zak snaps back at him and I tighten my grip on Nich's hand in warning. With a sigh, he dips his head in acknowledgment, before he replies.
"Yeah, your right that probably would make it more difficult," Zak nods and I silently thank him for losing the smug smirk, before I realize he's probably still in my head and able to see what I'm thinking about.
"We probably shouldn't go much further, Luc shouldn't put too much pressure on her back yet, and we are getting close to the edge of Carli's shield." I rip myself from their strong hold and stride a few steps away.
"I'm perfectly fine. Okay?" I grind out, my tone just daring them to argue with me. Glancing at one another for a moment they turn back and I see Zak roll his eyes slightly.
"Yeah. Sure, you are." Zak says and indignation surges through me at the sarcasm lacing his tone. But before I could open my mouth to let him know just how wrong that is, he cuts me off with the only words that could possibly gain my attention, "Do you want to ask me these questions of yours, or what?" I continue to stare daggers at him, but hold back the violent words I wish to unleash on him; I really do need some answers.
"Fine." I spit through my teeth, crossing my arms over my chest when he only grins in response.
"Um… before we get into what you want to know Lu, could we fill me in on what exactly is going on? I mean what do you actually intend to do now?" Nich ask moving closer to me, almost as if he is drawing an invisible line between us and Zak. "I mean where to you intend to go? Surely, we can't just hide out here forever, someone will find us eventually, whether its angels or demons, it doesn't make that much difference. Both will kill us on sight." I glance up at him, wondering how he could possibly not know where I want to go now that I'm free.
"We're are going back to heaven Nich."
"What! You can't! You just escaped from Lucifer, who has been holding you captive practically your entire life and now you're just going to hand yourself over to a bunch of angels that want you dead? Think Luc!"
"I am thinking it will be fine. Besides what else am I going to do, like you said I can't just stay here forever. I have information on the; I can help the good side for once." Nich gapes at me for a second, like he thinks I'm an idiot, but personally, even if they do kill me, it's a much better fate than the one Lucifer had in store for me; either way I end up dead. At least this way the choice is mine, I won't be injuring any of the people I care about and there is a slight chance of survival.
"That's ridiculous Lucia!" I shrink back slightly from the anger in his tone, he's never spoken to me like that before, noticing my hesitance, he pauses for a moment before softening his tone and reaching out his hand towards me, "Sorry, Luc, I just… I don't want you to get hurt. If they killed you… I just, I just don't know what I would do; you're my best friend Luc. You know how much I care about you." A small smile lifts the corners of my lips at his words and I nod taking in his proffered hand in my own and moving closer to his side.
"I know Nich, I care just as much about you, but it's my decision and I've made it."
"Are you even listening to what I'm saying? Besides how do you intend to get in? We're fallen angels; we can't just waltz on in, can we"
"Don't stress; it's all sorted. I've got a plan. Besides they won't kill us, we have information on Lucifer and his plans." Zak says nonchalantly, like he isn't talking about his own demise, and leans casually back against one of the many broad tree trunks surrounding us.
"Yeah, they might let you back in, hell, they may even let me back in, but Luc? Do you still remember what happened the last illegal half breed Lucifer produced? They killed him! Okay. He. Is. Dead! And they killed him for no other reason than the fact he was a half breed. Why would they spare Luc, when she's not only a half breed, but Lucifer's main source of power for taking on heaven?"
"Nich, I know. Okay? I know that they killed my brother for being exactly what I am. Maybe it was for the best, at least he didn't have to be responsible for splitting heaven in half. At least he isn't just here waiting for Lucifer to find him and force him to be sole cause of heavens downfall. At least he died innocent! Maybe it would be better if they killed me!" Nich freezes besides me. I don't mean to let the anger and frustration seep into my tone as I speak; but I need him to understand my decision; I refuse to destroy my home and my family any more than I already have. For a moment I think they will be both remain silent, like maybe they finally understand. Zak has a contemplative look on his face as he stares past me into the surrounding trees, but I can breathe I sigh of relief Nich's voice fills the silent air.
"You want them to kill you, don't you? You're not going back cause you want to go home, you're going back so they can kill you."
"No, Nich. That's not it; I don't want to go home," I say as he slowly steps away from me, setting fear fluttering in my heart, "Nich? I don't want them to kill me. I just want them to do what's best for everyone."
"How do you know what's best, Luc? Huh? You'd be better off with Lucifer!" it's me that takes a step back this time, as his words send me reeling like a slap in the face, "Well, it's true! At least you'd be alive"
"Don't say that! Never say that. You have no idea what you're talking about." I growl at him, backing away as the urge to attack him threatens to take over.
"You know what? Fine! You go and get yourself killed. I don't even care." My heart aches at his last words, spoken so calmly and hopelessly that I couldn't help but believe him. So much so that as he turns and stride away, I feel a single tear run down my cheek and I can't find the words to bring him back to me.
"He didn't mean it." I flinch away from the voice as it sounds from a few feet behind me, swiping my eyes and forcing a controlled calm over my mind. Hiding how I feel behind a blank mask, before I turn to face the dark-haired angel where he stands behind me.
"What?" I ask, uncertainty making me doubt what I heard. He rests his shoulders against the smooth bark of a tree and stares down at me for a moment. He remains silent for so long that I am starting to think he won't respond, before finally, he releases a breath and his deep voice fills the silent void.
"Nich. He didn't mean it. He had you believing it, but he was lying; he does care. Of course, he cares, Luc, how could he not?" My gaze flickers up to for a moment, and my breath catches in my throat at the softness in his gaze; almost as if he cares that Nich just chipped away further at my already cracked and crumbling heart.