I wake up the next morning,nightmares as usual. My chest still hurt from what I did 4 days ago.
I can't help but think about Josh. He makes me feel like there's some good left in the world even though I try and convince myself that there isn't.
I was about to put on a movie when I hear my phone beep.
Josh: Hey Ash
Wanna grab a coffee or some ice cream or something?
Ash:Uhhhm...
Maybe I should just go, I mean the guy is abit cool. Woah, what am I saying? Nah, I'm going! Should I really go?
Nah I don't think so.
*voice inside my head*
"Come on Ash,give the guy a chance I mean what's the worst that could happen?"
Do you ever feel like the voice inside your head is against you?
Yip that's how I feel most of the time.
Josh: I'll take that as a yes see you at 3;). Be ready!
Ash: okay fine:).
I can't believe I'm going out! Gosh, no Ash no. Relationships aren't for you remember, but how would I know if I didn't really give it a shot. Now I'm talking to myself like a crazy person,PERFECT! Come on Ash, you did give it a shot. You always end up heartbroken in the end.
I put on a black jeans with a red tank top and some red all stars.
I throw my long hair into a bunch of bouncy curls.
I'm putting my lip gloss when I hear Josh's hooter. I run downstairs and grab my black hoodie before I head out.
I see a black Dodge Challenger.
I open the door and get in.
" Hmmmm, not bad for a guy like you Josh."
"What do you mean Ash?", he asks. with a confused smile on his face.
" The car Joshy."
" Oh right.", he says.
"Let's get going shall we?"
" Yeah sure."
He starts up the engine and boy do I like the sound of that. Damnnnn!
"Where are we going? "
"Sunny's cafe,they make the best waffles over there.I hope you like waffles Ash."
" You betcha! Ice cream is my fav. "
We reach the cafe and Josh pulls out my chair for me. We place our orders and there's a awkward moment of silence.
"So..."
"Yes Josh?"
"I was thinking we should get to know each other better."
Just before I could answer that a girl with blond hair and blue eyes shows up.
"Heyyy babyyy! How are you?",she says and gives Josh a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Oh Chrisy heyyy.",he replies.
"Ash this is Christine my girlfriend, Christine this is Ashley my good friend. ",he introduces us.
I'm in shock,shocked is all I feel right now. I did not expect this! Like not at all. Wait, am I jealous? No no.
"How lovely to meet you Ashley. ",she grabs me into an awkward hug.
"It's nice to meet you too Christine.",I reply.
"Josh you never told me about Christine?"
"I haven't?, I'm so sorry Ash it must have slipped my mind."
"Okay..."is all I said."
How the hell did he not tell me about his GIRLFRIEND?How the hell does the fact that you have a GIRLFRIEND slip your mind? What kind of a answer was that even supposed to be?
I mean which heartless person even does this to someone. I thought the whole coffee joke was bad but look at this,this was just way too extreme.
I knew this was a bad idea in the first place. Why did I even listen to the voice in my head in the first place. This is actually my fault. I knew exactly that I would end up getting hurt. I knew that everyone else in this world was just going to hurt me. Everyone out there just wants to hurt me. That's all they can think of doing and all they ever want to do. I just feel so betrayed for some reason. I feel so hurt. Everything and everyone always turns on me.
"I'm sorry but do I like know you or something? I mean you look so firmiliar, oh my gaaad...I KNOW YOU!"
Christine screams,snapping me out of my thoughts.
"What do you mean Christine?I am sure I have not seen you anywhere before. I mean your face is so colorful I am sure I would have remembered. "
" Well you are all over the internet. Ashley Greene right?"
" Yeah right but I don't know what you are talking about."
" Look Ash its right here..."
She turns her phone towards me and the naked picture of me meets my eye. Sending chills through my body and a tighten on my chest as if a hand was put into my chest to squeeze my heart until it popped. I can't hear anything as it feels like my body has shut down.I can't really see anything right now. In fact I can not focus on anything I am doing right now. All I want to do is grab my things and run out of there. I just want to run, I want to keep running until I do not see a human being in sight.
Humans just ruin everything, they ruin the Earth,they destroy nature but most importantly they crush people.Especially those who had pure innocent souls. They would love to break them,put them down,make them feel worthless as if they were nothing.
That's just the way humans are or should I say devil's pretending to be human. They were poisonous and the less people you knew the better it was for you. The less pain you would have to feel. The less stories you would have to tell behind the scars left on your body and the less torments you would have to endure. The less people you have to break you the better it is for you. Always remember that!
Nothing in my body seems to be working and my body just does not want to respond to the things my brain is telling it to do.
I have shut down...