I found out third prince Julong left the morning after he came to visit me that night. I wouldn't have known he did if it wasn't for Bailing who told me about it. She had the tendency of picking up gossips from wherever she goes and carry them back to me for conversation.
She enjoys telling gossips about concubines and servants. Which concubine is sneaking out with which guardsman, or which kitchen maid the cook is fucking right now. It felt like I knew everyone in the palace without ever meeting them.
Bailing said there's nothing else to do and talking about other people's business is as much of a hobby as anything else. Everyone talked about each other and everyone knew about each other's business. I found myself in a twisted scowl as I imagined the kind of gossips swirling about me and I also found myself happy now that she had a boyfriend. Perhaps, she can find herself another hobby.
"Did you know your other boyfriend left?" Her voice boomed within the bedroom as she yanked my attention from my brood.
I turned to her, lost with what she said. "What another boyfriend?"
She rolled her eyes, "oh please, don't pretend you don't know what I'm saying."
My distant gaze went back to the view of the window, watching people as they strolled busily unaware of me on the other side. "Oh, prince Julong you mean? Yeah, I saw him the other night. He wasn't himself at all."
Bailing pushed herself up on her elbows, she'd been relaxing on my bed, kicking her feet and moaning as she complained endlessly about her new boyfriend. They got into an argument yesterday that's why she'd been in my company instead. "Did you hear what I said, Jasmine?"
I looked back at her, my mouth partly open. "You mentioned about third prince Julong being my other boyfriend."
"Yes, that and something else!" She hopped out of the bed and walked right up to me. Her hand pressed on my forehead feeling for temperature.
I blinked uncertainly what got her so animated.
"What the heck is wrong with you?" She asked. "You've been really out of it lately."
"No, nothing's wrong. I just had a lot on my mind." I gave her the same answer as I did my betrothed. My mind had been preoccupied with third prince Julong and this sudden confusion. I don't know what's gotten over me, and I don't know why I couldn't stop thinking about him. I shouldn't let what he said get to me and let myself get carried away weeks before my wedding day.
But the more he pushed and forced himself on me, the more I fell deeper and deeper into this confusion that I could hardly focus on anything, much less, what's happening around me.
"I said, the hot prince you daydream all day long is gone! He left a few days ago, he's out of the county! They sent him off somewhere else!"
"Who? Prince Julong?"
She snapped her tongue in annoyance and pinched on my cheek, "wake up, Jasmine! Stop being out of it!"
I pulled away wincing and rubbed the pain away from my cheek with my palm. "How'd you even know he's gone?"
"...because everybody else already knew. It's the talk at the consort's courtyard. They said it was all your fault."
"I don't have anything to do with it." I murmured.
Bailing snorted. "Of course, you don't! You're that innocent girl who's always oblivious to the world around her. I'm telling you." She peered at me closely. "If you find a mob of those girls after you, I won't save your ass this time. I'll let those girls eat you alive."
"That's mean. Why would they attack me?"
"Because the third prince is no longer at the palace."
I turned away visited by another wave of melancholy. "Don't think I'm not grieving as much as any of those girls."
*****
It didn't take long before my sadness worsened. The unexpected melancholic hit me like a ton of brick. I had no idea why I felt this way and I refused to accept third prince Julong could be the reason why.
I fell into a sudden sickness, a wave of another phantom sickness wrapped and sunk me deeper into the darkness.
The same imperial physician was sent to my chamber diagnosing me with the same illness.
"Stress out?" He asked.
I nodded. "Very."
"I don't blame you, the wedding must be getting to you since it's coming up so soon. I bet your nerves are all over the place." He laughed reminiscently as he remembers his wife. "I remembered my wife when we were getting married, she got so stressed out, she made herself sick on our wedding day."
He cracked a grin and focused his large eyes on me.
"No, that wouldn't be me. I'm not going to blow up and go off on everyone." I said with a smile.
"Good, good! We don't want none of that." He rummaged through his bag and handed me a package of tea along with all kinds of leaves, roots, and medicinal herbs to help with my stress. Though, I hardly think his medicine is the answer for what I'm really going through unless he had something that could wipe away the memory of someone from my head.
I tried hiding my sadness from prince Hoon as I smiled sweetly and faked my excitement whenever he showed up in my room, but my eyes couldn't lie to him and he saw right through my façade.
My eyes were the part of me my betrothed admired the most. He said he loved my eyes because he spent much of his time staring at them.
"What's the matter, my love?" He crooned. "Are you sick again?"
"No, my love. Not sick, it was just another long and boring day going through it alone in this room."
"You worry me, Jasmine." He moaned as he brushed his lips on my cheek.
The day of the wedding came sooner than later. The palace was prepared and polished to immaculate perfection. Guests from noble houses and neighboring kingdoms arrived in elegant carriages bringing gifts of gold and jewels. It was a pool of highborn wealthy people.
The palace brimmed in wedding decorations. Lanterns and ornaments hung outside while whistles of fireworks boomed rattling the sky of its noise. People celebrated, they danced and chanted songs of fortune, fertility and good luck.
Inside, I was prepared meticulously with every detail down to each pin that decorated my hair. I was dressed in the most stunning gown the palace had to offer. It was the brightest crimson meant to grab people's attention and center them to the bride alone.
The wedding took place without a hitch and the celebration lasted the entire day, extending through the early morning the next day.
Women dressed in their most extravagant dresses while men ate and drunk until they could no longer handle themselves. It was a night of celebration.
But as happy and as magical this day was supposed to be, my heart remained restless, aching and searching for a familiar face lost in the ocean of people. My eyes kept darting at every noble, every prince dressed in fancy clothes, looking for third prince Julong who never bothered to show.