Over time I will forget the third prince Julong. Over time, I will no longer think of him. I will no longer yearn for him or search for him in places I used to see him.
A month passed, two months, three months, then half a year passed when I started feeling better. My husband had nothing but love and affection. He dedicated himself and I returned every affection, love, and dedication he'd given me. As the entire year ate away, slow as the progress might be, I began to love him, truly, madly, unconditionally.
The third prince no longer occupied my mind, although there were times when his thoughts visited me occasionally, reminiscing those days when he smiled tenderly and looked at me with those unrelenting devoted eyes, making my heart melt for him.
I often brushed those thoughts away. They no longer meant anything, as the pain of his memory only bring out the worse anxiety in my chest.
Young hearts are fickle and they're not stationary. Third prince Julong is only two years older than I am, he had the entire world in his palms, he's a prince, handsome and charming. I'm sure he's doing fine, and probably moved on just the same way I did.
Casual conversations tend to make its way to my ears as the girls at the garden often spoke of him. They talked about the third prince and how he's doing living on a foreign land.
I pretended to be oblivious and uninterested in the prince's well-being, afraid to invite unwanted suspicions. But I also found myself listening from earshot, as the trickles of their soft voices fanned across the garden.
The only news I have of him is from the silly chirps of concubines and Bailing who couldn't resist telling me juicy details of prince Julong's gossips.
"How do you even know those things are true? Where do you hear them?" I asked Bailing one day. "I don't even hear news of the third prince and I'm married to his brother."
"That's because prince Hoon doesn't want you knowing anything about the third prince! Why would he talk to you about his competition?"
I loosened a breath, picking up the hairbrush from my vanity. I brushed my own hair instead of waiting for Bailing to do it for me. I could never rely on her taking the initiative, and trying to get her to lift a finger can cause more aggravation than doing it myself. The only reason Hoon hadn't fired Bailing yet was that I often covered for her making up excuses why I do most chores myself.
"Oh Hoon, don't worry about me. You act like I never lifted anything in my life. I was a farmer's daughter, remember? I have muscles toned for working in the field. I can take care of myself."
"But you are a princess, a wife to the third most powerful man in the nation. You don't lift a finger."
"Then how do you want me to occupy myself if you don't let me do anything?"
"I have a solution for that!" He gave me a wanton grin that told me exactly what's on his mind. I chuckled and pulled him close to me, his smile never leaving.
"Oh yeah? That seemed to be your solution to everything." I purred.
Soft lips pressed against mine, feeling the shock of his lips traveled all the way down to my core, "it works like magic, doesn't it?" He crooned and opened my mouth wider, kissing me deeper, and turning me instantly liquid. Prince Hoon was quite vigorous in bed much, much to my surprise.
Ever since after our marriage, prince Hoon's health took a drastic turn for the better. His constant fatigues and aches that used to ravage him disappeared. The nagging coughs vanished, and his energy came back to him as though the sex itself turned out to be the cure for most of his illnesses.
My husband looked healthy, he gained weight and muscles, transforming him into a strapping man. He looked more like the crown prince now that he's bigger.
In another year, our struggle to conceive became evident and the emperor had made a lucrative suggestion that perhaps, his son wasn't digging far enough, doing enough, or adventurous enough.
"Maybe you need to dig deeper, my son." The emperor suggested silently during a family dinner.
I turned a perfect shade of scarlet while Hoon chocked on his rice. The crown prince chuckled.
"Father!" Hoon's voice was an awkward tune. "This is hardly the place or time to discuss such matter."
"What?" The emperor crooned. "You're overdue for a child and I want my grandchildren. I'm growing older by the minute, Hoon. At least let me have some fun before I die."
We tried relentlessly but our efforts went nowhere. We were unable to have a child, just yet.
Although this did not cause any damage to our marriage, prince Hoon couldn't help but feel bad about it. He was sure the fault was on his side, not mine, apologizing to me one night while we laid in bed. "Forgive me, my love. I'm unable to give you a child."
My arm slid around his torso as I dragged myself fitting in the curve of his body. Hoon rested his arm on my hip caressing me there.
"Hush, I love you no less. Besides, we don't know for sure which one of us has the problem. It could be me for all we know." I said.
He sighed and kissed my lips. "Oh, Jasmine. It's obvious it's me. I don't know if being sterile runs in the family but why do you think, eldest brother hasn't had an heir to the throne even after having two wives? He's sterile." Hoon laid on his back and stared at the ceiling.
I shifted into his mold, fingers sprawled on his chest.
"I know this is part of the reason why the father is in such a rush for us to have children, he worries about the future of our line."
"But you don't know for sure if you are," I murmured, "is there anything that could be done?"
"I'm sure there's nothing oldest brother hasn't tried himself. He's quite desperate, you know." He laughed and I found myself laughing with him. The crown prince didn't seem so invincible after all.
"So, your brother isn't quite as flawless as he seemed to be."