Chereads / Dragon Wars: Flames of Pain (Book 3) / Chapter 10 - Chapter 9 (Josephs PoV) Don't Have a Choice

Chapter 10 - Chapter 9 (Josephs PoV) Don't Have a Choice

I sat on the bed for just a few moments, as I thought back on what all had happened in my life up to this point. It was probably not the best way for me to be spending the little free time that I had nowadays, but it was hard not to think about all of that.

I did need some time to think to myself after all, even if John told me otherwise. I could just not live with myself, if I lived with no sort of train of though, or any emotions. It just was not normal for me, and it was not the type of person that I was.

I closed my eyes, as I knew that it really was not the time to be lost in my head at the moment. Maybe I could do that later, as I knew there was about to be a very busy day for me. It was going to be like this now permanently, even to the potential for it to be like this til the day that I passed along.

I was okay with it though, and I was used to always being busy. I always worked at the bar, and it was pretty busy most nights. I then would come home and have to pick up a bunch of shit that my father would leave behind as a mess.

I sometimes wondered if he did that on purpose as well, just to be a little bit extra, as if he was trying to prove some sort of point to me. What the point was, I had not the faintest clue. My mother would take care of the house during the day, but once the night came, she stuck with my sister.

I did not blame her for it either, as my father typically came home from the bar, drunk as all hell. I closed my eyes, as it hurt me to even think about those times in my life. Maybe those were the better times though, at least my mother was still alive.

It had put a real change in not just me, but also to my sister, as it had seemed as though she had lost all of her emotions. It made me kind of sick to see her like that, but at the same time, it kind of felt like, over time, I had felt the same way.

All this time, just sitting in a tent, or laying in bed, just made me think back on all of it. I kind of wish things could go back to that time. I am sure that my father felt the same way as well. Though he had changed a bit, for the better at least, ever since the death of his long beloved wife.

He seemed to be a bit like my sister, as he seemed to show very little emotion now. I shook my head at the same time too, as I was not sure why I was thinking on all of this at the moment. The whole reason I was even trying to think, was because I knew what was going on today.

Sure, I had done a bit of training with John, on how to improve my archery skills, and my sneaking, but this was going to be a lot different, and I knew it. No matter how important of a person I was, I could not go in to this war, all alone.

I needed to know how to work as a team, and how to lead an army, not just in to a normal battle, but in to a war against dragons. It was going to be a lot different than the games I used to play with my friends when I was a lot younger, and I knew that for sure.

I got up from the bed, as I knew that John had come up to my room for a reason. He wanted to get this started, and I was sure he would not be to happy if he were to come up stairs, and see me just sitting down on the bed.

I got up from the bed right away, and then I looked around the room one last time, before I then began to eventually walk out of the room, and in to the hall way that led to the stair way. I looked around at the hall way, as the candle light lit up the place.

I looked around at all of the paintings that were hung up on the wall, and then I looked away a bit sadly. I was not sure, that even if we ended up winning this war, if the world would ever go back to the same way that it used to be.

It was sad to think about, as I shook my head, and then I looked away from the paintings that were on the wall, trying my best just to not think too deep on all of it at the exact moment. I then continued my little stroll down the hall way.

Once I got down to the steps, I then stopped once again, as I stared down at it, looking right at the bottom step. I looked at it for just a few moments, as it began to hit me even more. This was it, this was where it all was going to begin, or where it could all end.

I knew that the red dragons could not do it without us, but at the same time as well, I also knew that we could not do it without them as well. We needed each other, and I was doing my best to keep on telling myself, that the red dragons were different from the black.

John told me, that when he was with my uncle, he hunted both red and black dragons, so he was not too sure if he was ready to trust them just yet. I did not blame him for it either, but at the same time, it felt like we had no other choice but to.

We needed to work together on this, and from what I had heard, the black dragons had gone to their homes and killed many of them. Surely we had to be on the same side on this, we had no other choice. I shook my head, as I heard dishes going in to the sink down the stairs.

I then began to hear voices of people talking, though I could not quite hear what it was that they were saying to each other, nor could I tell who it was that was even talking in the first place. I had to assume that one of them had to be John, as the voice was a bit of a deep pitch, and he had also told me that he would be waiting for me.

I blinked a few times, as I wondered as to why I was still standing in this same spot in the first place. If I wanted to hear what they were saying, than I may as well just go down the stairs and join in with the conversation. I seemed to often forget how important of a person that I was now.

I was so used to just helping at the bar, and feeling like I had no use to this world, that it still did not sink in to me, as to who I was. I shook my head again, as I finally managed to get down to the bottom step. The voices that I had heard speaking, also then began to stop at the same time as well.

I knew that the steps were very loud when someone either walked up or down the stairs. Maybe this was not a conversation that they wanted me to be a part of, or maybe they were talking about me. Hell... The likely odds is that John still thought I was in the tub, as I typically took long baths.

It was a bit different for me today though, and I was not sure as to what was going on with me right now. I had a lot on my mind, which made sense, due to the fact that I was about to start my training with the legion, but I did not feel any sort of weakness in my physical part of my body.

I walked in to the room, as I saw that it was just my dad and John talking to each other. I looked around as I half expected Adrian to be somewhere in the room. It was not usual for my father and John to just have a 1 on 1 conversation with each other.

I then began to get a bit suspicious, as I was now quite a bit more sure that they had in fact been talking about me. I squinted my eyes at the both of them, as I knew that they had their eyes on me since I had just walked in to the room with them.

They then looked away from me, and began to continue speaking to each other, though a bit more quiet than before, as it was clear that they had been more worried that it had been some one else that had come in to the room with them, rather than me.

I shook my head, as it also made sense as to why Adrian was not here either. He was busy taking care of his farm, now that it was starting to get a lot colder outside, and he needed to make sure that his crops would make it through the winter.

I was more worried about us though, as I was not even quite sure if we would make it through the winter. We were fine on food, and water we were okay with, but from what I had heard by John, I was a lot more ready for this war, than the rest of the legion was.

His old legion was a lot smaller than this one, and not only that, but there were less than 50 people still alive from his original legion. He had told me that the dragons had been hunting them down over to last couple of years. We were lucky that my uncle had put a spell on this place.

This legion nearly had 2000 people in it, and most of them stayed on the out skirts of the farm, where it was still safe from the dragons. Many of them had no clue what it was that they were doing, and most of them had joined the legion just based on hearing about it, because they wanted revenge on the dragons for what they had done to them.

It would take some time to coax them in to letting them know that the red dragons were on our side, which was a lot of the reason that I was not ready to let them know that the red dragons had a place that was just a couple kilometers from us.

I had to hope that they did not accidentally find out about it as well, if they did, and they told everyone about it, than it could spell some bad news for us. I shook my head though, as I did my best to once again wipe myself from all of those thoughts.

I heard John, and my father speaking to each other, but I did not sneak up on them to hear what it was that they were talking about. I looked away from them to not even think about doing so either. I then looked over at the counter, near where the ice box was at.

I spotted that there was a clean bowl for me as well, as Julia usually left one for me in the mornings. Oh, how I loved her so much. She, and my sister were just about the only things that were keeping me afloat right now. I smiled as I then picked up the bowl from off of the counter.

I then opened up the fridge, and I spotted some left overs from the dinner that I had not eaten last night, due to the fact that I had been so tired from another day of training with John. It was a bunch of veggies that seemed to be mixed together.

I was not a big fan of vegetables, but I would live with it. I knew that they were good for me, so there was no use in complaining about it. I was lucky that I was eating this, rather than the stuff that we had to eat while living in the woods for over a year.

I turned on the gas lit stove, and began to heat it up, so that I would not have to eat it cold. I sat there for a few moments, just with my eyes closed, as I did my best to just not think on any thing at the moment. It was a bit hard to do though, due to the fact that I heard John and my father speaking quietly in the background.

Normally, though they were almost whispering to each other, it should be that I could not hear what they were saying, and that I should be just fine, but it seemed almost like they were right up in my ear at the moment. I shook my head, as I gave up on that.

I still could not hear a word of what they were saying either, nor did I really want to anyways. I knew that much un like Zoe, they were not talking about gossip, and I was quite sure that what they were talking about, had to have some sort of importance.

I just did not want to be a part of it at all, as I opened my eyes, doing my best to not hear a word of what it was that they were saying to one another. I then looked over at the stove, and saw that a bit of some steam was coming from the soup like thing that I had just heated up.

I then turned off the stove, and then I took the food over to the table that was in front of me. There was only one table in the room, but it was such a big table, that it did not matter at all, as I sat on the far side of the table, away from John and my dad.

I then took a bite of my food, but realizing now that I had been to lost in my mind, to notice that I had left it on the stove for a bit too long, a was about to spit it out, but that would not be a good look for me, as I took the food down my throat, feeling a large burn as it went down.

I then began to blow the food, to cool it down a bit, though I knew that it would only cool down the soup that was at the top, and the soup that was at the bottom would stay hot. I did it to make me feel better anyways, as I just let it sit for a little while, just to be safe.

I stared down at the soup for quite some time, until I then heard John speak up, a bit louder than he just had been a few moments ago. I kept on staring at the soup, until I heard him repeat the same thing once again, but this time adding my name in to let me know that he was speaking to me.

"Joseph... You should be a part of this conversation... Come bring your food over to us." He said to me. I stared at the bowl for a few moments, as if I had still not been paying attention to him, and had not heard a word that he had just said to me.

After a couple more seconds though I did eventually turn my head back over to him, though I stared at him with a bit of a blank look on my face, as if I had not understood what he had just said to me. John rolled his eyes at me, as he knew that I was stuck in my head.

It was simple, as to what it was that he had just asked of me, so I was not quite sure what was up with me, and why I was acting the way that I was at the moment. I looked down at the bowl, and then I closed my eyes, as I did my best to clear my thoughts.

After a few more seconds, when I felt like I was safe, I then opened my eyes and then I looked over to John. John had his eyes squinted at me at right now, and I knew why as well. He did not like when I acted like this, and I knew that he viewed it as childish, and rebellious behaviour.

It was not the intent that I had meant to show him, as I blinked a few times, seeing that for once he showed emotion on his face, though it was not exactly the type of emotion that I would have wanted to see from him. I knew that I had to speak before it was a bit too late, and I went ahead and did so.

"I'm sorry... I just don't know what is going on with me right now. Maybe now is not the time for that, I just need to clear my thoughts." I said to him. John looked at me for just a few moments, with a bit of a blank look on his face.

My father, as I could tell, felt a bit bad for me, as I saw a bit of a sad look on his own face. I did not want that sort of emotion at the moment either. I had delt with enough sadness as it was, and I did not want that to follow over to me right now.

I looked back over at John, as once again, I saw that he did not look to have a very happy look on that face of his. I was not sure as to what it was that was going on with him at the moment, I was sure that I had not said anything wrong at all.

John put his hand on the table, when he normally did that, it was him slamming his fist down, to get peoples attention, and to let them know that he was not happy, but to my surprise, this time it looked to be a bit more of a calm one, as he slowly put his hand down on to the table.

He still had his eyes squinted at me for some reason, as I rolled my eyes more at myself, as I knew that he was going to say something, that had to be the opposite of what I had just said to him. It seemed like I had no other choice but to be a part of their little conversation.

John stared me down for a few moments, as if he was trying to get me put in to my place, which I was not sure what place that was at the moment. Eventually though, he seemed to calm down just a bit, as he then nodded, and he then began to speak to me. Though I did not necessarily want to, I did in fact listen to what it was that he had to say to me as well.

"Joseph... You have no other choice... It is time that you learned what it is like to be a leader... You can't just choose when you want to be one... And when you don't..." He said to me. I looked at him for just a few moments, as this time it was my turn to have my eyes squinted at him.

Though I knew, as per usual, he did not seem to budge at all. I was a bit tired of all of this though, and it seemed like there was a bit of random anger that was about to explode from out of me. I did my best to try to relax myself at the same time, like Mariah had tried to teach me.

I had a bit of an angry look in my eyes, which I could tell surprised John quite a bit. Though I had done a fair bit to relax myself, I still could not stop myself from letting out just a couple of words out of my mouth, in response to John.

"I don't ever want to be one... So why would I choose at all?" I said back to him, realizing that I had done a good job not to let out a bunch of my anger at John at the same time as well. I knew that we were in this together, and he did not deserve that type of behavior from me.

John looked at me for just a few moments, as he stared at me for just a while. I then saw him lower his head to the ground at the same time too. I was a bit confused, as it was not normal for him to have such a sad look on his face.

After a little while longer, he looked back up at me, as though nothing had just happened at all. He squinted his eyes at me, like he typically did, and then he shook his head at me, and then he began to speak to me as well.

"Kid... Your uncle said the same thing... But in the end, he realized that you don't have a choice."