Dry.
My mouth is dry.
My body is sore.
My hands and legs are shaking.
My vision is blurry.
And I can't remember the last time I had any sleep.
But I need to keep going.
I can't stop.
I can feel the cameras on me.
On us.
I force myself to take a breath and continue working.
But the test tube slipped right from my fingers and fell to the ground, the glass shattering into pieces on my feet.
I let my eyes close, the noise echoing on my head.
"Tris? Are you okay?" Nora asked me.
She sounded concerned.
No. I'm not.
But I'm not sure I said those words out loud before black completely took over me, reminding me of the colour of Ink Blood and a specific person I left there.
♛♛♛
"...Errot..?" Adan asked warily and walked hesitantly towards Tristian.
"Wrong. Guess again" Tristian smirked at him.
Adan's eyes widened. "So it's true... you're.. you're back." He looks stunned.
"I am." He checked Adan out quickly. "How are you doing, Adan?"
Adan ran a hand through his hair, getting visibly flustered. "How am I doing? You'd know if you were here. Why did you even come back?" Adan looks like he doesn't know how to act towards him.
Tristian sighed. "Don't tell me you're mad at me too"
"Everyone is mad at you, Tristian. You don't just pack your shit one day and leave. You left Canton a note but me? I was fucking distraught."
Tristian bit at his lip and stared at Adan blankly.
"You don't give a fuck, do you? I can see it in your face."
"I did what I had to do. My absence wasn't really..planned."
Adan looked away, suddenly finding it very hard to stare at Tristian.
"Come on. You can't be mad at me forever. Let's just..start over. Catch up a bit." He smiled at him even though Adan couldn't see him.
Adan rolled his eyes, still avoiding Tristian's gaze. "Catch up..how can you be so casual about this" he mumbled frustrated.
Tristian came closer and wrapped his arms around Adan, embracing him into a hug.
Adan's eyes widened again. A small gasp escaped his lips.
"I missed how things were. I missed my life here. Give me a chance to make it up to all of you for all the years that we lost. Please..."
Adan remained frozen.
He didn't hug him back.
After a while, Tristian pulled away. "So, what do you say?"
Adan crossed his arms against his chest, his heart beating slightly faster. "Do you..." Adan rolled his eyes. "Do you have some free time today?" He mumbled lowly, hating how easily he's giving in to Tristian.
"I'm free tonight. Canton and I will spend the day together."
Adan scoffed. "He's dating Errot now. You shouldn't have any hopes."
Tristian rolled his eyes and then smirked a bit. "Yeah. He won't be doing that for long"
Adan frowned. "He seems pretty much hooked"
Tristian chuckled a bit. "Well, things change. Circumstances change..."
Adan's frown grew wider. "Tristian, what are you up to?"
Tristian's smirk widened. "Meet me at the gardens, midnight"
Canton started approaching them, his face colder than ever. "At least you're on time"
"Goodmorning Cant." Tristian smirked.
"I better get going" Adan mumbled, not throwing a simple glance at Canton.
Tristian waved while Canton stayed silent.
Adan walked away from them.
"I give you one hour for the walk and then we come back here and work the spell. Am I clear?"
"Crystal" Tristian smirked.
♛♛♛
"Wow.." Tristian said while examining the lake forest. "I missed this place.."
Canton clenched his jaw "weren't you living in Ink Blood?"
Tristian glanced at him "No." He sighed. "Let's sit down"
Canton rolled his eyes and took his seat against a tree, Tristian sitting next to him.
"I spent all those years in Teal Blood. On that island with the Lyttletons"
Canton felt taken aback but he didn't say a word.
"Amara...do you remember her?"
He froze, realisation hitting him in the face.
"Yeah..that..that was me..."
Canton's eyes widened and he snapped his gaze at Tristian.
"I didn't..I wasn't ready to face you just yet. But hey.." he smiled. "I still remember your go to drink."
"You came to distract me, didn't you? You knew where the Lyttletons were." He furrowed his eyebrows in slight frustration.
Tristian exhaled. "I actually lived there. That was my house. I mean yeah, the Lyttleton's had the upper part of the house and my team and I had the basement."
"So you're blatantly saying that you left me at my worst to go and live with the people who held three curses over me? And you worked for them too." Canton's tone sounds accusatory.
"You make it sound so..awful"
"It is awful" Canton said coldly.
"It didn't exactly happen like that.." Tristian begun biting at his bottom lip in thought.
Canton scoffed. "How did it happen? Please, enlighten me"
He tried to voice his words in a right way. "The Lyttletons offered me a job. I accepted it with the sole purpose to go there and kill them for you.."
Canton shook his head, finding it quite difficult to believe him even though he knows Tristian doesn't have the ability to lie. "But?"
"But it was a trap. Canton, they locked us inside this basement for several years. Forcing us to work day and night. Forcing us to make them an army out of robots."
Small pause.
"But they eventually started losing their minds. The newly added power of your father was driving them crazy bit by bit. Year by year. One day Quinn-"
Canton interrupted him. "Bullshit. If you really wanted to kill them in the first place, you would have told me. Written it into the note I was left with." He sounds bitter.
"No. I never told you. I didn't think I would be gone for this long"
"Tristian, this sounds too good for someone like you."
Tristian smiled. "I love the way you say my name"
Canton's face darkened. "Thank you for letting me know so I will never say it again."
Tristian sighed.
"Continue with your excuses. I'm listening. One day Quinn...?"
"They are not excuses."
"Stop buying time to think of what you'll say next" Sharp tone.
"Will you stop attacking me every time I open my mouth?"
"Buying time..."
"Fine." Tristian looked at Canton in the eye. "One day..Quinn came over. He unlocked the door. Had a little chat with us. With..me."
Canton chuckled humorlessly. "In all seriousness, Valder, a five year old would have thought of a better story for a cover up."
Tristian closed his eyes and continued, ignoring Canton's words. He re-opened them. "You know how no one can leave this god damn island without a fucking boat. He said that we were either way trapped in there. And if I tried anything on his parents, he would instantly kill me. I'm sorry, Canton but I value my life too much. I had no way out. If I were to kill them, I wouldn't be able to escape and come back to Ink Blood. Quinn and his firing squad would find me and bury a few bullets on me."
Canton was silent.
"I was forced to stay there. I was forced to work for them. And I was forced to keep them alive."
"Did you enjoy it?"
"What?" Tristian asked confused.
"Did you enjoy being forced to do something you didn't want to do? To live a life you didn't choose? To live a life that you hated? Did you enjoy it?"
Tristian looked down. "No." He simply said.
"Good. Now you know how I felt."
Tristian took a breath. "I wanted what was best for you"
"And how did you know what was best for me?"
"The Alastair blood runs to your veins. Replacing your dad was your destiny. Being a merciless king was your destiny. I had to wake you up and forcing you into it was the only way."
"Let's say I believe you. Why would the Lyttletons offer you out of all people a job under them when they knew fully well that you were involved with me and that you could easily rat them out to save me. Why would they expose themselves to you?"
"Exactly because they knew you were involved with me. They knew I would accept their offer in order to kill them and save you. They wanted to trap me. They didn't reveal their location until we arrived there, anyway."
"And why would you want to help me and remove those curses when you just said that you wanted me to be a 'merciless king' ? "
"Because I wanted to earn your trust again. And open your eyes in other ways. Because I was fully aware that our relationship was falling apart after everything that happened even though you went back to me."
Canton's face was stone cold and he was clenching his fists from time to time. "So, you were, what? A prisoner? All those years-"
Tristian was staring deep into Canton's eyes. "Yes. I'm sorry, Canton."
Canton tore his gaze off him.
Tristian continued. "When we learned that you were coming to the island they made me pretend I was this servant to throw you off. To lead you away. That boat ride...was the first time I left that island in one thousand years. The Lyttletons were hidden away. We didn't know their location anymore. A while later and you murder the shit out of them." Tristian smirked at that. "I'm so proud of you for that by the way.." brief pause. "With the parents dead, there really wasn't a point in holding us captives anymore. A waste of space. Quinn set me free. But I'm dying. I've been sick for a while. I've done my research, I've spent countless sleepless nights to find the cure. Like I said, I value my life. Me dying was the perfect reason for me to come back and a reason I knew you would accept."
"You knew I would accept?"
"Yeah, I mean. If I suddenly showed up and said something along the lines of 'I missed you so much, let me come back' I would have my ass kicked out of your castle in less than a second."
"Damn right." Cold.
Tristian chuckled. "See what I mean?"
"Don't laugh, it's not funny."
"Alright. Can I breathe or will I be considered a felon?"
"It's not the time for jokes." Canton warned.
"I'm just trying to ease the situation here."
"This is a situation that can't be eased."
"At least let me try." Tristian gently placed his hand over Canton's.
Canton pulled away like he was electrocuted. He glared at Tristian. "Touch me again and I'll punch you in the face."
Tristian gave him a serious nod. "Do it, Canton. I know you want to. If it makes you feel any better I want you to do it. Take it out on the right person. Take it out on me. I deserve it"
"Yeah, you do."
"Punch me, then."
Canton looked like he considered it for a second but he then shook his head in disapproval. "Don't be childish."
"I know you've been meaning to do that forever. And I feel like you need it." Tristian shrugged, a fainted smirk playing on his face. "It's a good way to start over."
Canton looked away.
Tristian grabbed at Canton's face and leaned in to kiss him, only to provoke a reaction out of him.
Canton's fist flew straight into Tristian's face, a mixture of black and red blood now rolling down his nose.
Again.
Tristian managed to smile a bit. He wiped at the blood with the back of his sleeve.
Canton was examining him closely.
"Wasn't so hard now, was it? Do you feel any better?"
Canton got up. "Let's head back to the castle"
Tristian got up as well. "What's up with you guys and this exact part of my nose?" Tristian whined playfully.
Canton almost lost his composure at that. Images of Errot and their fight yesterday flooded his head.
"Something wrong?" Tristian asked, his sleeve still placed against his nose.
"I just want to go back." Canton started walking away.
ODA
Taking a tour of this castle's warehouse for hours?
Sounds like a plan.
Anything to avoid Elvina at all costs.
I haven't seen her since yesterday evening.
After my argument with Santos, I went back to the room only to find Errot sitting alone on the bed.
Elvina never showed up.
I slept alone and I woke up alone as well.
No sign of her anywhere and I decided that it was for the best.
For some odd reason, I don't want to see her.
I don't want to face her, to have a conversation with her.
So, checking out the countless stacks of stored food in here suddenly appeals to me very much.
After spending two hours inside this particular warehouse, I decided to go investigate another one.
I walked out of the room and as I was about to enter the one on my left side, I heard a strange noise coming from a room with a closed door on my right.
I frowned, my heart picking up it's pace on it's own will.
I hesitantly walked a bit closer and glued my ear against the door.
The sound now got louder. Someone is stuggling to breathe.
My eyes widened at that and I burst inside the room without a second thought.
My gaze immediately fell at the only person in here, who seemed like he was having a panic attack.
I instantly sprinted towards him and held at his shoulders, making my presence known. "Santos, look at me" I tried to sound as calm as I could.
The moment my hands touched his skin, Santos flinched and snapped his eyes at me, his breathing extremely ragged and his mouth covered with blood.
He's gasping for air.
I couldn't help but look as shocked as I felt.
Santos looked like he lost his consciousness for a simple second, his body giving up on him.
I got on my knees so I could hold him up and steady.
I stared into his eyes. "Hey, you will not die. You have people who love you here and will do anything to save you."
My grip on his shoulders tightened.
"That boy is a scientist. The cure is on the way. Just hold on. You only need to hold on for a little longer." I said, recalling Errot's words from yesterday.
Santos' breathing remained uneven but he seemed to be so concentrated at my words that he was starting to gradually calm down.
That was my cue to continue. "I believe Canton is already at the lab again. They are getting closer every passing day. Do not let yourself panic. Panic will only bring you to your knees..-" I glanced at his position "-and lower."
Santos was now paying attention to my voice and my voice only.
He was breatbing normally again and I don't think he even realised when it happened.
I didn't realise when it happened.
We were now staring at each other's eyes, silence taking over.
He placed his back against the wall and pulled his knees against his chest.
He started trembling.
"Hey.." I tried, my arm hesitantly reaching at his knee.
Santos pulled away and kept trembling. "Don't touch me" he mumbled.
I sighed and sat on the floor cross-legged, keeping my hands to myself.
I was trying to think of what to say when he spoke up.
"I-is it..black or red?" His voice broke a bit.
"What do you mean..?"
"The blood....is it black or red?" He mumbled. He looks excessively shaken up.
My eyes fell to his lips and mouth which were covered with his blood.
Black and red combined.
"I..I think it's mostly red? The shade is lighter. No?" He asked.
"Uh..." I trailed my eyes upwards again, meeting his worried one's. "Both. But mostly red, you're right." I whispered the last sentence that came out of my mouth.
Santos kept rubbing at his forehead repeatedly. He was mumbling nonsense under his breath.
"You loathe your human side. Why?" I decided to create a conversation and take his mind off of death.
"Being human is a weakness." He said lowly. His trembling is gradually fading away.
"A human life is gifted to the brave. It's only for the brave. You try to survive every single day with only what you have. No magic powers, no wings, no spells. Just you and a knife if you're lucky enough. That is not a weakness, Santos."
He scoffed.
He now looked calm.
"What, that's it? You're not gonna defend your argument?"
"The only thing my human side gifted me was a fatal disease and a bunch of problems to deal with."
"And now you became immortal and lived a thousand years more. But you don't look happy"
Santos remained silent.
"It's not about a long life.. it's about a life lived right."
"Did you live your life right, in Merlot Blood?"
I looked at him in the eye. "No."
"Do you live your life right, now?"
I took a sharp breath. "No.."
"who are you to talk, then?"
"I never said I live my life in the right way. But I know I should. And I'm trying to help you see it too"
Santos clicked his tongue at that. "You've been trying to help a lot lately, Oda. I'm awful to you, why can't you be awful back?"
"You don't want me to do that"
Santos snickered. "Oh, so now you read minds too?"
He didn't give me time to reply. "Look, it's my choice to push people away. I'm doing this willingly. This is who I am. Don't try to change me".
"So, you're saying that you want every single person you meet to hate you, avoid you or treat you horribly"
Santos clenched his jaw.
It took a whole minute for him to reply, his voice finally coming out low and weak. "I'm scared. I'm scared that if I let someome in, I'll get too attached and then they will leave me. For a better partner, a better friend....a better spy. And I will be left heartbroken and all alone." He turned to look at me, his dark gaze meeting mine. "I'm scared that they'll end up hating me like you said. So, it feels better to know that they don't hate the real me but a fake version of me"
I don't know why I'm in the verge of tears but I can feel my them burning my eyes and threatening to fall down.
But I'm holding myself back. I took a breath, feeling my shoulders slowly relax.
I looked at him. "We are all scared of people leaving us. Abandoning us for something or someone better. Because for a lot of people we are and we will be considered... less. Good but maybe not enough. Until the right people come into our lives. Because those people will never find the better when they have the best in front of them. We will be their best. These things Santos...these relationships need effort. And time. And understanding. We build relationships, we don't buy them. But you will never meet your best partner, your best friend if you don't try. If you don't stop scaring everyone away"
Santos is not looking at me anymore. His head is bowed down but his pointed ears are perked up. I know he hasn't missed a word I've said.
"Santos, those facial expressions you think nobody notices, the way you say some things or the way you don't. You shared something personal with me the other day. And you shared something personal with me today..All these are some tiny glimpses of the real you..and they represent the reasons why I changed the way I act towards you. Because I like them. "
I got up at that.
"And I appreciate it. I know how hard it is. So...thank you. Thank you for trusting me enough and best believe that my lips are sealed"
ADAN
"You came" Tristian said, an easy smile playing on his lips.
I approached him with my head hanging down and my hands buried inside my pockets.
I stopped before him and sighed.
"I shouldn't have"
"Hm. Where's that usual smirk of yours? I missed it."
"Funny thing. It disappeared when you got back."
"Can you not pull a Canton on me?"
"Tristian-" I started but his eyes widening made me stop.
He came closer to me, grabbed at my chin and lifted my head up, exposing my neck. "Is this a burn mark, Adan?"
I didn't utter a word.
"Did you start again? " His eyebrows were furrowed while he was examining my neck. "This looks fresh too"
I looked at Tristian, feeling myself melt into his gaze.
"Stupid." He freed his grip on me.
"You don't care. You don't even know me anymore" I blurted out.
This time his gaze turned fierce and his face murderous, wicked even.
"Listen to me, Adan. A few weeks. All I need is a few weeks and things will get back to how they were before I went away. I came here to stay and no one will stand in my way. And if they do..I will personally take care of them."
ERROT
After a few never ending, painful hours Canton decided to walk inside his room.
He looks torn, exhausted and definitely not in the mood to have a conversation with me.
The moment he caught my gaze, he came into a halt.
I saw something flicker on his eyes but it was gone as soon as it appeared.
"Errot.." He closed the door behind him and walked towards me.
He sat down next to me on the bed and stared at me in the eye. "Are you okay? Where did you sleep last night?"
"I want to talk to you."
"Likewise." He said. "And I'd like to start first"
I crossed my arms against my chest and waited silently.
He placed his palm on my cheek in a gentle manner but I immediately pulled away from his touch.
Canton exhaled and then spoke up. "I'm so sorry that I've made you doubt my feelings for you. I've been nothing but honest to you. And I hate the fact that I don't wish for Tristian to die and that I'm not happy that he is actually dying. But how could I not care about him, Errot? I spent years of my life with this person. I used to be so in love him. But I'm not anymore. I'm not in love with him because I'm in love with you, damn it" Canton rolled his eyes, looking frustrated.
"I'm not one to share my feelings so openly with anyone. But I can't stand you not talking to me. I can't stand you avoiding me, or being mad at me. Please say something now before I keep oversharing and I end up a big fucking sobbing mess"
I stayed silent for a second too long.
Canton nodded. "Yeah, judging by your face and your silence I'm probably gonna need a bottle of bourbon tonight. Or two." Canton reached out to his nightstand and pulled a bottle out from inside his drawer.
He opened it and begun chugging it down.
My eyes got a bit wide. "Stop it."
A few seconds later and he stopped. But the bottle was already half empty.
I shook my head in disapproval.
Canton looked at me again. "Right. What did you want to talk about?"
I opened my mouth to talk but he interrupted me by taking a few more sips from his drink. "Okay. I'm definitely ready now."
A small smile appeared on my face. "I'm not breaking up with you, Canton"
"Jesus Christ, Merlot. Why didn't you stop me then?"
I raised my eyebrows at him, amusement growing on me. "I literally said and I quote 'stop it' "
"Not clear enough. Let's drink to your non-existent ability to form sentences that make sense" he said and continued drinking.
I grabbed the bottle away from his grip and placed it back to his nightstand.
Canton raised an eyebrow at me. "Okay, now you have my attention".
I sighed. "I repeat. I'm not breaking up with you. And I trust you. I trust you very much. But I don't trust him. And I know enough about this person to be suspicious of his motives. So, I'm asking you for one thing and one thing only."
I put his hand in mine.
"Let me be present when you're alone with him."
"I accept"
"I'm not gonna interfere in your work or anything and-"
"I accept. Want me to say it again? I accept."
I gave him a smile. "Good." I leaned in and placed a small kiss to his lips.
Canton's eyes stayed closed even after I pulled away.
He rubbed at his now closed eyes and laid down on his bed with a relieved sigh.
"Time for bed, I guess?"
"Mhm" Canton mumbled.
I blew the remaining candles out and jumped to the bed as well, Canton's arm wide open for me to crawl into.
And I fell asleep.
I fell asleep on his arms, not having a single clue about what tomorrow had in store for all of us.
♛