{tw://self-harm}
"Cant, I'm scared" Elle whispered.
"I know, love" Canton said and caressed her head comfortingly.
"I'm also scared! " Res exclaimed.
Canton exhaled and run a frustrated hand through his hair. "Hey, come here. Both of you" He opened his arms and waited for the kids to crawl inside them.
When they did, Canton wrapped his arms around his siblings tightly.
"I'll do everything in my power to protect you, okay?"
"they're gonna kill you too" Elle cried.
Canton pressed his lips into a thin line and stayed silent. He wanted nothing more than to comfort those two little innocent kids he loved so and assure them that everything was going to be fine but unfortunately, Inks don't have the ability to lie.
"What happens when you die? Do you get born again? Mom used to say your actions from this life define your next. Is this true?" Res' little voice echoed throughout the room.
"I don't know, kiddo" worry was evident on Canton's tone.
"that means we are gonna turn into something bad" Elle mumbled.
Canton frowned "Why bad?"
"Because we aren't good people in this life"
"What are you talking about? You are the greatest and sweetest siblings I could ever ask for".
"But we are getting punished. That means we are naughty".
"You are getting punished because dad is a sadistic fuck".
Canton clenched his jaw, his face darkening.
"Cant?" Res asked after a little while.
"Yes, love?"
"What does 'fuck' mean?" he questioned innocently.
Canton's eyes widened in horror. "If you love me as much as you claim you do, you will never tell him I called him that".
"Kay but what does it mean though?" Res frowned.
"We usually use this word when something...bad happens?".
"There you are, cute creatures. And Canton" Elvina grinned and closed the door behind her.
"Elvina!" Both kids yelled out and run into Elvina's arms.
Canton rolled his eyes, his face turning into it's usual coldness when the kids weren't looking.
"Oh wow, thank you guys I can feel the love". Canton said ironically.
Elle pulled away from Elvina and turned to look at Canton.
Canton immediately gave her a warm smile, indicating that he was just joking.
Elle started running towards Canton again when she tripped and stumbled a bit forwards. "Fuck!"
Canton's and Elvina's eyes widened.
Elvina was the one that spoke first "Gabrielle Alastair! Who taught you this inappropriate word?"
Elle smirked and pointed at Canton "Big bro".
Canton's eyes widened more at that. "You little snich!"
Elle and Res laughed outloud.
"Canton, what have I told you about teaching kids bad words?" Elvina said and crossed her arms against her chest.
"In my defence, I was describing their dad".
"It's your dad too" Res frowned.
"Sadly" Canton sighed.
Elvina and the kids laid on the bed, Canton and her on the sides and the kids in the middle.
"Where's Tristian?" Elvina asked.
"Yeah, where is he? We missed him" Res said.
"Well, he's...not here..."
"Cant-" Elvina started.
"I know" Canton said.
ERROT
"Got your text. What are you doing here?" Adan hopped inside the castle's main kitchen and hugged me from behind.
I jumped a little bit on his arms and then relaxed when I heard his voice.
I smirked "next time make your presence known before you touch someone. Tends to scare people."
"Yeah, happy to see you too, babe." He leaned in and kissed my cheek.
I placed the bowl on the counter and turned around to face him. "Haven't seen you in a while."
"Well, not my fault. You were busy."
I scoffed. "Are you putting the blame on me?"
"No, relax. Whatcha doing." Adan said and pointed at the bowl with his eyes.
"Awe, you didn't have to cook for mee."
He grinned and took the bowl on his hands.
"Hey, if you spill the freaking chicken soup, I'll force you to make a new one".
Adan laughed. "Why did you make a chicken soup?"
"Ask cotton candy" I said mockingly.
He frowned. "Did he ask you to cook for him?"
"Yeah, took me almost two hours too. He wanted a specific kind of rice and the chicken cooked in a specific kind of way." I paused. "Do I even look like I can cook anything?"
"Definetely not. He knows that. That's why he sent you to cook."
"What do you mean?" I frowned.
"He obviously did that on purpose. Cotton candy has his own chef. Who actually knows how to cook and professionally at that."
My frowned deepened. "He must have wanted to stay alone."
"And for quite a while too. Maybe he's planning your death." Adan grinned.
I scoffed amused now "there's no way he would ever kill me"
Adan raised an eyebrow at me, playfully. "Oh so now you aren't scared anymore?"
"Are we gonna keep talking about him or will you kiss me?"
Adan smirked and leaned in, his hands placed at either side of me against the countertop, trapping me.
I kissed him back hungrily, feeling my hormones hit red.
I trailed my hand down his pants and started teasing him a bit.
Adan pulled a bit back and moaned against my lips. "Do it, Errot" he whispered.
I can feel my cheeks heating up a bit.
The lust I feel right now could make me move mountains in order to have a tiny bit of action.
But I can't.
I pulled my hand away. "The soup is gonna get cold and Canton will hung me upside down."
Adan closed his eyes and sighed, his forehead placed against mine.
He took a step back. "Wow, first making me horny and then leaving me? Appreciate it, babe."
"Sorry, I have a king to please" I turned to grab the soup.
"Okay this sounded wrong and I'm now jealous." Adan grinned. "Hey, hope you're not cheating on me with him." He frowned.
I chuckled. "I mean, I could and you wouldn't even know about it" I said trying to get to him.
Adan suddenly frowned. "Thought you didn't like murderers and people that, you know, treat you like you're their toy."
I copied his frown. "I was just messing with you. What's up with that reaction?"
Adan rolled his eyes and then his smirk returned. "You got me for a second there. Anyways." He gave me a quick peck. "See you around, busy boy." He turned and walked out of the kitchen.
The frown didn't leave my face.
♛♛♛
I shouldn't have walked inside his room without knocking at the door first.
I knew that.
I wish I hadn't.
I wish I had stayed with Adan a little longer.
I wish...
But wishes do not work like that.
I gasped.
It was the only thing I could do.
The bowl slipped from my fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into pieces.
The soup burned my legs but I didn't mind.
I didn't mind cause my eyes were focused on him.
On his bare, full of scars and burns, chest.
On his arms.
The kind of arms you would see in a robot.
Not an Ink.
My eyes fell back on his chest.
I thought my body was bruised, damaged.
I was completely and utterly wrong.
I couldn't help but notice a bit of blood running down his abs and a piece of rag on his hand, covered in blood.
Black blood.
He's bleeding black.
I blinked.
I didn't realise my hand was placed on my mouth gently, trying to cover up my shock.
"Get out." He ordered.
His voice stern.
Dark.
Low.
And a bit unsteady, quivery.
He sounds like he's in pain.
I also didn't realise when I covered the distance between us.
How my hand trembled its way towards his scars.
I almost touched him when he grabbed my hand with force, his gaze threatening.
"Don't you dare, Merlot."
I met his glassy green eyes.
"You're..-bleeding." I managed to say through the immense shock.
And you're hurting me.
That, I didn't say. I didn't say it cause it felt irrelevant.
He must have figured that his grip on me is too strong.
He pulled his hand away.
His metallic hand.
"No shit, Sherlock." He mumbled and looked away. "Better believe you're cleaning up the soup off my floor."
He said and carefully took a seat on his bed, covering his fresh wound with the rag.
"What happened to you...did someone hurt you? Where are the guards?" I asked still dumbfounded.
"Yes. Someone did hurt me. And I don't need guards to deal with him." Canton muttered the last sentence.
My eyes widened a tiny bit. "Who is he? Should I call- why don't you need your guards?"
Canton sighed and then flinched. He paused to take a brief breath "have you ever heard the phrase my worst enemy is myself?"
"You..." My lips parted. "You did this to yourself?"
Pain makes you feel things.
It makes you stronger.
Pain means that you're alive.
Appreciate it.
Canton looked away and I run a hand through my hair, his words playing over and over in my head.
Pain means that you're alive.
I clenched my fist and gave him a hard stare.
"Are you under this ridiculous impression that this will fix anything? That it will fix your broken heart? Cause I'm telling you now, it won't. Hurting your own self will only lead to your downfall sooner. Why add scars to an already scarred soul. Let yourself heal. Don't traumatise it more. Haven't you finally had enough?"
I'm quite aware I just raised my voice at him but this is the least of my concerns right now.
I don't understand why I got so upset but I'm literally in flames.
I'm pretty sure my whole face is red and it's definitely not from embarassment.
I stared at him intensely.
My eyes never leaving his.
I heard it then.
I heard the glass of his eyes crack.
The glass that was doing its best to protect its king.
That stood guard day and night, not letting anyone or anything destroy it.
The sound was loud and clear.
It kept echoing in my head.
It made so much noise, the world turned mute around me.
I saw it, too.
The cold green I once feared, now moist.
Humane.
He screamed human even though he was a robot.
An Ink.
He screamed human as the green now got watery.
"Errot." He said.
I don't know why I'm frozen.
"Bring me some bandages from the bathroom."
He spoke so lowly, it was almost impossible to hear it.
It was like a barely audible whisper.
I forced myself to move.
To turn my back on him.
I walked to the bathroom and found a first aid kit laying on the corner.
Like it's regularly needed.
I shuddered.
I picked it up and went back inside.
I placed it next to him on the bed and opened it.
When I looked back at his eyes, they weren't watery anymore.
No traces of newly formed tears.
Tears that never escaped.
It made me wonder how many times he had to hide them away.
How many times he had to bury his hurt because of his position.
His reputation.
Because after everything, monsters have feelings too.
"Should I..." I trailed and pointed at the kit.
Canton shrugged, his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze focused on nothing.
I opened it and looked at him.
"I should disinfect it first."
Canton stayed unmoving.
I grabbed the disinfectant and looked at him.
I took a brief breath and started spraying at his wound.
Canton flinched hard but didn't make any sound.
"Sorry." I mumbled and grabbed the bandages.
I started wrapping it around his stomach, gently.
Once I was finished, I took a step back and looked at what I had done.
Feeling satisfied with the result, I glanced back at him.
"I'm ready."
Canton nodded, his gaze dark.
He was still looking away from me.
"I didn't always have..robotic parts" He broke his silence.
"What?" I whispered, a bit shocked he brought that up himself.
"They wanted to turn me into a robot."
I decided not to speak.
I looked down as well.
"I was supposed to be completely brain-dead. I wasn't meant to have.. feelings, conscience..." He took a second to scoff humorlessly. "As you might have noticed I'm struggling with those."
I started biting at my bottom lip, afraid that if I started talking he would regret ever saying anything to me.
I let him continue.
"I managed to win them back the first time. I did. I still had murder on my mind. My hands were forced. To kill, to hurt people. Of all kinds. Whether they were mortals, Inks, Moccasins...Teals. To be cruel, to watch people suffer. I longed for that. But I knew what I was doing. I was myself but not really. I felt awful, guilty. My heart was crashed cause I wasn't that person."
He paused, his head still lowered. "I begged and I cried and I shouted but it wouldn't go away..until it did. I fixed it. I turned back to my old self. They said it was almost impossible but I guess my heart wouldn't take it."
He paused again. He looked to be in thought. Like he was reminiscing. "But my happiness was short-lived. Curses are like spells. Powerful, dark. They can ruin your life. He knew I wasn't the robot he wanted me to be anymore. He knew I managed to surpass even the power of science, as he used to call it. The power of science..not the power of magic. So when he was finally going down, he chose to drag me along with him. Like he always did. So, he put me in his grave. And cursed me. He cursed me to turn back to the way I was after the operation. To turn back to that robot. To the robot that understood what was going on, that had feelings, that cared. He could easily curse me to lose it completely. But he didn't. He wanted to know that I would suffer with the suffering I would cause to the others. He wanted to know that even if he didn't manage to make me like him, he at least ended up destroying me. And that was comfort to his death. He uttered those venomous words like he was wishing me all the best."
His jaw was now clenched.
My heart too.
And he continued. He continued even when I mentally begged him not to.
I didn't like what was happening.
I was so comfortably living in a lie.
I hate him.
I hate him so much for destroying the only reason why I hate him.
I don't want to stand in front of him and feel nothing else but hate, anger.
But the only hate and anger I feel right now is not towards him.
"That was the second curse. My father cursed me three times that night. Three times."
I took a very deep breath, feeling my lungs a bit heavy. "What was the third curse?"
Canton turned to finally look at me, his eyes not glassy anymore.
They weren't glassy.
They were something far worse.
They were broken.
Tired.
Vulnerable.
They looked so old. Like they were dying.
Like they've died a million times before.
Like the glass was just keeping them young.
They looked like they've seen a lot.
They probably have.
"Go bring me something else to eat, Merlot. You've wasted my food." He said but he didn't sound angry.
He sounded defeated.
I didn't get mad at him.
I couldn't.
I turned around and walked to the door.
I mentally laughed at myself for having my heart shattered by the one person I wanted to kill most in the world.
Funny how life keeps surprising you in the most odd ways.
Funny how I walked inside the room hating him but I'm walking out fighting with everything I have to keep feeling that way.
♛♛♛
"Santos." Canton said and slowly walked to his couch.
He laid down, his gaze meeting the ceiling.
Santos immediately revealed himself and looked at Canton, worry making his heart beat faster.
He bowed to him in a rush. "Your highness, we need to talk."
♛