CHAPTER 47: I'm a Good Girl, I Am
EVANGELYN FORBES
"You fucking traitor! I thought you were my friend!" Eyrene screamed at me. Her loud voice reverberated through my head. She looked worst that had last seen her—back at the bus. It was something that I'd been trying to escape ever since I got here in this building, our tenporary shelter.
I almost forgot about it until Eyrene came. Nahanap niya ang gusaling ito. Sa paanong paraan? I have no idea. I thought that when I left here back at the bus, she died together with out other classmates. Handa na akong ibaon sa limot ang ginawa ko sa kanila nila Bridget. But then I was wrong. She was alive. So I'm guessing Bridget didn't make it. Si Ryan ang kasama niya, which was so weird since hindi ko naman nakita ang katawan doon ni Ryan nang lumabas ako ng bus. Maybe they met somewhere in this forest? I don't care.
I'll admit it, nagulat ako nang makita ko ang familiar niyang postura—her skit was now tattered all over the place and so was her blouse. Madumi ang kanyang suot na damit at sira na ang isang takong ng sapatos niya. Her pink curly hair was now the shade of deep red and it was untangled, na halatang hindi iyon nasuklay ng ilang araw na. I forced myself to smile sweetly at her. I had already imagined this moment at the times I was alone. I would try my best to sound like the good girl everybody thought I am—a facade, a mask. Pinilit ko ang mga mata ko na lumuha. And it was a success. I felt hot, fake tears rolled down my cheeks.
"E-Eyrene?" kunwa'y hindi makapaniwalang sabi ko. I stepped closer to her. She fucking smelled worse than she looked. But I stopped myself from squinching up my nose. Hindi iyon ang importante ngayon. I had to put up a show that everyone of my classmates would believe. "I-I thought you were... dead." Tinawid ko ang distansya namin sa isa't-isa at mahigpit siyang niyakap.
"Get the fuck off me!" Eyrene squirmed from my hug. Marahas niya akong itinulak palayo sa kanya. "You have the fucking guts to fake cry now?"
Umiling ako at umiyak pa nang lalo. "E-Eyrene, w-what are y-you saying?" I asked her. I could feel my classmates staring at me, obviously believing this act I'm putting up.
"I will kill you!" she screamed. "I will fucking kill you! Bridget could have lived, you psycho!"
Nang bumaling ako sa mga kaklase ko, nagpapasukan na sila pabalik sa gusali. Probably thinking we need some privacy. This bitch wasn't grateful for what my father did to her family. We practically gave his father a job so that they can live to see another day. And this bitch had the guts to scream at me for something I don't care about? When I looked around us and found that we are both alone now, I hastily wiped my wet cheeks and smiled evilly at her.
"You both deserved it, Eyrene," halos pabulong na sagot ko. I looked her in the eye for her to know I'm not under any false pretense now. "It's either me or you. I chose me. I will always choose me."
"Hindi ka man lang nakonsensya sa ginawa mo, Evangelyn? You basically killed Bridget as much as I did!"
I crossed my arms over my chest. "No, Eyrene. In fact, wala akong kinalaman sa pagkamatay ni Bridg. You were with her and I was not. You see the difference? Sino sa tingin mo ang paniniwalaan ng mga kaklase natin? Ako o ikaw?" I walked a bit closer to her. "You're nothing without me. Itatak mo 'yan sa kukote mo."
Naglakad na ako pabalik sa gusali, nilagpasan lang siya, nang bigla niyang higitin ang kamay ko. "Wala ka bang puso? Bridget died! Our friend died!"
I scoffed and laughed softly at what she just said. Friend? I wasn't a fool not to know they weren't really my friend. Alam kong kinaibigan lang naman nila ako because of my family, money. That's it. And she's now telling me that we're friends? They used me to climb up the social hierarchy. I didn't mind that. Pero wala siyang karapatang isisi sa 'kin ang pagkamatay ni Bridget.
"Let go of my hand or I'll fucking choke you to death," I whispered to her. "We're not friends, Eyrene. Stop kidding yourself. We're strangers who needed each other," I added. "Oh, right. Kayo lang pala ang may kailangan sa 'kin. And one more thing, no one touches the queen, you fucking ungrateful slut."
I rolled my eyes at her. Marahas kong pinalis ang kamay niya sa braso ko at tinahak ang daan pabalik sa gusali. They both deserved what they had gotten. Ginawa nila 'yon sa mga sarili nila.
I woke up when I felt someone shook me by the shoulders. When I tried to open my eyes, it brought a great amount of pain to me. But I tried my best to open them. My vision was blurred for a minute but as it clears out, I realized Eyrene was in front of me. She didn't look familiar at first because of my blurry vision. Nakakunot ang noo na pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang paligid namin. Oh, we are fucked. Bodies were piled everywhere I looked. It's a fucking carnage in here. Amoy chemical and usok na rin ang loob ng bus. It's as if everything that happened before were now only registering in my memory.
"E-Evangelyn, you have to come with me," Eyrene said. "H-hurry up, i-it's Bridget!"
I almost rolled my eyes at her. What a fucking psycho! Bakit hindi pa siya umaalis dito sa bus? Any minute now, this thing will explode and we will burn with it kapag hindi pa kami umalis ngayon.
"W-where's Bridg?" I asked her, my voice trembling.
She pointed at the far end of the bus. We crawled our way there, shards of glass wounded my palms. Someone was crying and whimpering at the far end. Si Bridget nga iyon. Napansin ko ang malaki niyang sugat sa hita. I moved closer to her. Nasa likod ko lang nanatili si Eyrene. I gasped when I saw how damaged her right leg was. Nakikita ko na ang buto ng hita niya dahil sa pagkawarak niyon. Her blood continued oozing from her badly wounded leg. I have no idea what to do first—get ourselves out of here or stop her wound from bleeding. I did the latter.
"Eyrene, give me your jacket. Hurry!" sabi ko kay Eyrene na natataranta namang hinubad ang kanyang jacket.
Kinuho ko iyon nang iabot sa 'kin ni Eyrene. I've seen these kinds of scenes from thriller movies. You need to stop the bleeding first in order to stop her from losing a huge amount of blood, that would lead to her losing consciousness. We wouldn't want that. Mas mahihirapan kaming buhatin si Bridget palabas ng bus. We barely made our way here, paano pa kung may bubuhatin kaming walang malay?
I could feel the fire starting to get bigger outside the bus. Nagmamadaling pumunit ako ng tela sa jacket ni Eyrene at itinali iyon sa hit ani Bridget. Napaungol siya sa sakit but I quickly shushed her. Then we made our way out of the bus through an already opened window. It was already midnight.
Tinulungan kong akayin si Bridget kasama si Eyrene. And the three of us started walking.
"Wait," bigla ay sabi ni Eyrene. "Stacey!"
Oh, fuck. I almost forgot that bitch, I thought. Inihiga muna namin si Bridget para hanapin si Stacey. We managed to find her at the front of the bus. Hindi siya gaanong sugatan. She was just unconscious.
"Where are we?" Stacey asked when she woke up.
"We don't have time for that. We have to go. Now!" bulyaw ko sa kanya.
And the four of us entered the forest. Matataas ang mga puno, almost as tall as the buildings in the city. Bigla kaming may narinig na mga yabag malapit sa puwesto namin. When I turned my head to our right, there they were. Hooded men looking at our direction. Nakakatakot ang mga maskara na suot nila. It was a mask that resembled the face of a cat. There were many of them. And I remembered their familiar robes. Right. I saw them from that fucking article. Something that has to do with the New World Order shit. We wore the same robes when we pulled a prank to Blair that same night. I thought it was a cool and scary outfit that was why I suggested it.
Ang akala ko ay isang malaking joke lang ang article na kumakalat sa internet. But I was so fucking wrong. There were now standing a few feet away from us. And we were still standing there, staring back at them. I know we have to run the moment we laid eyes on them. They reeked of danger.
"L-let's run," nanginginig ang boses na pahayag ni Stacey.
I nodded my head at her. And I knew at that moment, I had to make a decision. Save myself or die with them. My mother used to tell me that I only have myself. Ang sarili ko lang ang mayroon ako sa lahat ng oras. That the people around me are just mere decorations in my life. Na isang malaking katangahan kapag nagpakamatay ako para sa mga taong nasa paligid ko.
Hindi ko namalayang nabitawan ko na pala ang kamay ni Bridget na nakaakay sa balikat ko. She dropped to the ground. Mabilis siyang inakay ulit ni Eyrene.
"Evangelyn, help me!" she said.
I looked at Bridget. She had already lost too much blood.
"G-go…" she whispered. "L-leave me here. A-ayokong m-maging p-pabigat sa inyo…"
I shook my head, still staring at her. Unti-unti na siyang pumipikit. And when I looked back at the hooded men, they're now starting to walk towards us. I had to make a decision right now.
Nang lumingon ako sa likod ko, tumatakbo na si Stacey. She chose to save herself. Bumalik ang tingin ko kay Bridget na nasa lupa na. Siya ang pinaka-close ko sa kanilang tatlo. She was my first ever friend. The only one who tolerated my attitude, the one who really knew me. I didn't consider her as just a decoration in my life. Bridget was more than that.
"S-save yourself, Evangelyn," she said, almost a whisper.
I knelt to the ground and touched her cheek. "I-I'm sorry," I replied.
I stood up and took Eyrene's arm. Kumawala siya sa pagkakahawak ko. "What the fuck are you doing, Evangelyn?"
At that moment, I shut everything off. Dahil kung gusto ko pang mabuhay, I should run now. Nawawalan na kami ng oras. "Do you want to live or nor?" I asked her.
Anger was evident on her face. "Please, don't, Evangelyn. W-we can still save her."
"You made your choice, Eyrene. And I'm making mine," sabi ko sa kanya bago ako tumakbo palayo sa kanilang puwesto. I heard her calling out my name but I didn't look back. It was too late. I already made my choice. And I chose to save myself.
Pabagsak na humiga ako sa maalikabok na kama. It's just all too much for tonight. I never thought that Eyrene would be alive and I would be seeing her again. Ang huli naming pagkikita ay nanatili siya sa kanyang puwesto because she wanted to save Bridget, when she perfectly knew that would get her killed. But she wasn't killed by the hooded men. So it was possible she ran after I left them. She basically did the same thing I did to Bridget.
How many days had it been since the accident happened? That fucking accident took a toll in me. The scratches the broken shards of glass made on my skin still hadn't healed completely. At medyo masakit pa rin ang likod ko. But of course I didn't want anyone to see me hurting or whining about some damn small scratches. A lot had happened. Pero hindi ako nagsisi sa mga desisyong ginawa ko—ang pag-iwan ko kay Bridget at Eyrene, ang pag-iwan ko kay Blair at Celaena. I don't regret any of it. You know why? Because that kept me alive. That's why I'm still here. Ayokong maging katulad ng mga tangang tao na magpapakamatay para sa mga kaibigan nila. That's a load of bullshit and false pretenses. I would do anything to stay alive in this game those hooded men made us play.
Kung isa lang 'to sa mga tipikal na araw ko bilang isang Forbes, everyone I know would laugh at me. I never imagined myself staying at this dusty old room, with this old-fashioned table beside my also dusty bed. This room just doesn't speak Evangelyn Forbes. Hindi ito ang klase ng kuwarto na pananatilihan ko. But apparently, I had no damn choice. This is the closest to shelter we would ever have. Nakakatawang isipin na nakasanayan ko na ang karangyaan and never thought of living a poor life. I'm used to expensive bags, high-end premium hotel rooms, well-known beaches, life of the party, bars, everything—name it. That was my life—was. Tama, lahat ng 'yon ay nasa past na. All I should think of right now is how to get out of this hell we are in. Or if we ever get out of here. Kung iisipin, napakanipis ng tsansa naming makaalis dito ng buhay. Not with those hooded men lurking around this vasty forest.
Awtomatiko akong napabangon nang biglang bumukas ng marahas ang pinto ng silid ko. Iniluwa niyon si Eyrene. Her eyes were glaring at me.
"You fucking bitch!" she screamed at me as she jumped on top of me and strangled me. I was caught off guard by what she did. I felt her pointy nails digging deep into the skin of my neck. I groaned in pain. I tried to push her off me but she was too strong.
I kicked her in the ribs that made her roll off me. Marahas siyang bumagsak sa sahig. But she quickly got on her feet and was about to come for me again when I pushed her with all my remaining strength. Bumagsak siya sa bedside table na nakapagpabagsak sa vase na naroon. The vase shattered to thousand pieces as it dropped to the wooded floor. Lumikha iyon ng ingay sapat para malaman ng iba na may nangyayaring kakaiba rito sa silid ko.
"Stop, Eyrene! What the hell are you doing?" bulyaw ko sa kanya.
Umangil lang siya at muling tumayo. "Stop this! This will not bring Bridget back!"
"But it will avenge her death," halos pabulong na sabi niya.
"You killed her as much as I did, Eyrene! Kaya ka nandito ngayon! You left her, too!" I shouted.
I didn't expect it when she came sprinting toward me and punched me in the face that made my head dizzy. Nawalan ako ng balanse at naumpog ang ulo sa dingding. Sinubukan kong humanap ng makakapitan pero walang maapuhap ang mga kamay ko. I dropped to the floor, my surrounding was spinning around me. Pati si Eyrene ay parang sumasayaw sa harap ko. I felt her sit on top of me. Madiin niyang inilapat ang kanyang mga kamay sa leeg ko at sinakal ako. This time, I knew she would kill me. I could feel the air in my lungs slowly escaping. Unti-unti nang dumidilim ang paningin ko. But I knew I should fight her. Nakita ko ang mga mata niya at nakapinta roon ang matinding galit. I averted my eyes from her and searched for something that I could use against her.
"E-Eyr—" I tried to say but all she did was to tighten her grip on my neck. "S-stop..."
"I'm not like you, Evangelyn! I will never be like you! Ikaw ang pumatay sa kanya, hindi ako!" I felt hot tears dripping on my face. Eyrene was crying. "This is for leaving us! Dapat ikaw ang namatay at hindi siya! Die, you fucking traitor!"
Hindi ko na maramdaman ang kanyang mga kamay na sumasakal sa leeg ko. And then from the corner of my eyes, I saw the wooden knife Maru gave me the other day. Gamit ang natitira kong lakas, sinubukan kong igalaw ang mga kamay ko para maabot ang patalim na nasa ilalim ng aking kama, ilang dangkal lang ang layo. I remember putting it there last night para kung sakaling may mangyaring hindi inaasahan, magiging handa ako. I could quickly defend myself at least. Eyrene was busy choking me to death. I grabbed that chance to try to move towards the knife. Ilang dangkal na lang.
"E-Eyrene... p-please..." I said, barely a whisper. Napaubo ako dahil sa hirap ng paghinga. You can do this, Evangelyn, I told myself.
Pinagapang ko ang kamay ko sa maduming sahig ng silid at naramdaman na ng daliri ko ang dulo ng patalim. And I was able to finally take it. Without thinking, I thrust the knife on Eyrene's side. Naramdaman ko ang pagluwag ng pagkakasakal niya sa leeg ko at tuluyan na siyang bumagsak. I quickly sat up. Nakahiga si Eyrene sa sahig at mahigpit na hinahawakan ang gilid ng kanyang tiyan, kung saan nakabaon ang patalim. Blood continuously oozed from it, painting the floor with dark red liquid. She looked at me with tears in her eyes. Nakapinta ang gulat sa kanyang mga mata. Wala na ang galit doon.
"E-Eyrene... I'm... s-sorry..." I crawled towards her but she pushed me away from her.
"D-don't come n-near m-me... don't!" she screamed at me.
Nagawa niyang tumayo habang nakahawak pa rin sa gilid ng kanyang tiyan. She stood near the window and looked back to me.
"T-this is all you, Evangelyn. I want you to remember that," she said, her voice shaking. "You killed Bridget, Stacey and now, me. You killed me."
Ano ang sinasabi niya? Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya but she shook her head and turned to the window.
"L-let me help you, Eyrene," sabi ko.
What happened next was not what I expected.
She pushed herself off the window, the sound of glass smashing echoed through the room. She threw herself from the window. And just like that, Eyrene was gone in a flash. Umihip ang malakas na hangin sa labas ng bintana. The next thing I heard was a thud on the ground. And I knew it was her body. Natutop ko ang bibig ko.
Strangely, I didn't feel any emotions for the next second. Now, what should I do—pretend to cry or pretend I didn't know any of it?