Calla needed to cry.
For the past two years, one of the only places she could find privacy, silence and comfort was behind that glass door. The headmaster's office.
Sometimes she would be alone. Most of the times Old Lu would be there to pester her. In other words, console her.
At the moment she felt she would no longer be able to hold it in. She ran away from the class without looking back and as soon as she left the orphanage's 'school-like' premise, the tears came.
The headmaster's office was unlocked and Old Lu was still back there. She would appreciate the much needed time alone.
But then again, "Aren't I always alone?" Said Calla mockingly to herself.
Will I always be alone?
"You rascal, you should at least pity me. I know I couldn't possibly look better, I'm at the prime of my youth but, still, Calla, dear.." says Mr. Lu gasping for air, "Let's make a deal, ok? Don't run, you might hurt yourself and it will definitely be bad for my knees if I keep on chasing after so.."
"I wasn't trying to play catch" interrupts the sobbing little girl.
"Of course not. You've never played catch, unless you've been trying and failing to catch yourself all these years" says the tired old man.
"I never fail" whispered Calla
"You do fail my dear. We all do"
"I don't. I can't fail. No one likes a failure. I'll never be adopted if I keep on failing and making friends.." calla starts coughing after choking with snot, she's flustered and her tears kept streaming down her eyes
"Why does it seem that you are not even trying to get those? Family and friends" inquired Mr. Lu
"How will I fail if I'm not even on the run? Someone else's decisions have as much power over us as we allow them to have. I won't be abandoned again. I won't allow it. No one will have the chance to take anything away from me, never" without being able to stop and catch a breath, Calla remained crying
Mr. Lu feels her heartache from where he stands. This 5 year old is probably the most sensible creature he has ever crossed paths with.
"Ignorance is a gift, if you don't know pain does not exist. Unfortunately dear, you seem to know to much" said the old man, trying to lift the mood
"If ignorance is a bliss why isn't the world happier?" she said
"Who allowed you to read Mark Twain?"
"The same person who told you to read The Rolling Stones and to take advise from John Lennon" said the girl
"John Lennon was a great man ok..."
"I wouldn't want to live my life the way he did, he was brought up by his aunt, lost his mother and only met his father after fame. It was all it took for him to lose humbleness and be killed hmpf" huffed the girl
"You lost your humbleness"
"I was never humble to be able to lose my humbleness. See, I was right and precaution rules"
"Precaution you say" whispered the old man
Sometimes they got into these meaningless side arguments during their conversations. But from them he always learned a lot about the girl. Little by little, Mr. Lu started to see her as his own daughter. She's sweet without ever meaning it and that's one of the most peculiar things about her.
All the caretakers and cookers were found of her. Even the boys, they have never, ever, talked to her, yet they knew she was a dear kid. She was fortunate and unfortunate.
Her father was bailed last year and is out of prison. As for her mother, she's in a straightjacket to this very day. From these two, Calla would never have a chance of redemption.
The suitor parents, they've all read her files and historic. They'd have to know either way. Unfortunately all of them had the same reaction. Scared that the prisoner, Calla's biological father, would come trying to find trouble and also worried that the little girl would turn out to be just like her insane mother. How could Mr. Lu blame them though? That girl's future is an uncertainty.
Yet...
"Calla, why did you do it?" Asks Mr. Lu
"Did what?" retorts the sobbing girl
"You just offered your helping hand knowing that you wouldn't gain anything in return and without owing anything to any of them. Why?"
"Why not?" Calla really can't see what's wrong with what she just did. The world is full of fools, is it wrong not wanting to stand by while other fools are add up? She can do it either way it's not like she's at the losing end. She'll be reenforcing her own knowledge. It would be nice to fill her free time and scape boredom. Wait, did they found her to be selfish? Was it to obvious?
Calla's answer stunned Mr. Lu for now he realized she would never be conscious of the good she preaches.
"Calla you are a good girl. You are the smartest kid I've ever seen and I've seen plenty on my 30 years of.."
"Lying is wrong and a waste of time when no one is buying it. Old Lu, you are over 100" joked the girl
"Calla how many times I'll have to ask, call me Mr. Lu, I'm just 40"
"140, you meant"
"Calla my age is not on the main topic here"
"89 take it or leave it"
"I AM 67 HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK I WOULD BE.." his shouting was interrupted by the girl's laugh...
Yeah, today she's different different. It's the first time she laughs in two years. Calla has always been gentle and polite but hardly ever externalizing her thoughts, even rarer, talking.
She looks lighter, maybe what was weighing in her heart all these years is finally fading.
"Have you finally got rid of your anchor, miss Calla Amara?"
Even though the question came out of nowhere and it was quite subjective, Calla understood the underlying meaning, "Actually, Old Lu, I have not. I don't possess anything but my memories. I know that they are not the happiest of the all but they are still mine to carry. No one will remember them for me. What I'm trying to do, Old Lu, is to get stronger. I'll lift my anchor and carry it around. I'm strong, but I want to be undeniably strong. I'll be. I've lifted my anchor"
"I see" whispered the happy headmaster, "But if you get tired? What if you break your arms?"
"That would never be"
"What I'm trying to say Calla" interrupts Mr. Lu, "Is that it would be easier to have someone to help you. To carry your anchor. To share the burden"
"But"
"I know" Old Lu cuts in again, "You're strong and capable. That's why I know that you're also capable of making friends or even finding yourself a family. Alone is to tiresome and"
"I see where you getting. Old Lu I didn't knew you would be as selfish as me" says the girl shocking the headmaster out of his socks, "You actually advised me to make use of others for my personal gains. I'm so proud of you" Calla was beaming, she gave Old Lu her two thumbs up while looking at the flabbergasted old man.
Both of them were interrupted by loud laughter
"HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAA UH UH UF WHA- HEHE HE WHAT- HAHAHAHAAH" Elliot was at the door holding his stomach, crying with laughter
Drying his tears he says, "Hm, I'm sorry for the intrusion and interruption really, please forgive me" He bows for both of them, "But since I'm here already, Calla, I'm very strong. I can help you carry your... your thing. You teach me how to read and write just like you and I'll help you carry anything"
At that the girl burst into laughter herself.
"Are you blackmailing me?" Says the cracking girl
"Blackmail? What's that?" Asks a confused Elliot
"Both of you, get back to class, ok? Calla, you've just made yourself a friend. Congratulations. Elliot, take good care of her" intervenes Mr. Lu
Even though both children had more to say they knew it was time to get back. Both of them said their farewell...
"Mr. Lu, I hope you have a pleasant afternoon. I'll be taking my leave"
"Ho ho, Old Lu c'mon you know I don't even need it"
...at the same time
Ah the disparity will kill me someday, thought Mr. Lu seeing the departing kids.
...
"Are you really able to teach me?" says Elliot on the way to the scholar edifice
"I'm able to teach you anything. The real question is if you are able to learn it" answered Calla
"Can I learn?" Elliot asks
"Whether you think you can or you think you can't you're right, that's Henry Ford"
"Henry Ford" repeats the confused boy
"It's his phrase. Your biggest enemy and supporter are the same person, yourself. I honestly believe you can do it, but me believe won't make you thrive."
"Ow this uncle must be really wise"
"I would call him an opportunist, he saw potential and created Fordism, a clever man"
"What is fordism?" blinks the boy
"Aren't you supposed to be three years older then me?" Stares the girl
Elliot just smiles and grabs her hand for them to walk faster.
"Thank you" he says
"For what?"
"You said you believe it. That I can learn. Our teacher called my friends and me a bunch of illiterates, she said she won't waste her time with us dead weights. That's why she doesn't correct spelling errors on our class, she said we are the worst students she had ever seen"
"I bet she's blind. Some students kill their teachers on revenge that woman really knows no fear to complain of us"
"How can you say something like that, aren't you a girl?" That had Elliot surprised. Until now everyone thought the girl wasn't able to speak. Who would've thought she was so... so... angry?
"How can I say it??? Can't you see I have a mouth??? Tsk, I'll teach you and your friends, I will also show it to her. You'll see..." says Calla
"We don't have to show it to her, I just think"
"You thought and stagnated on your thought land. No progress without changes, remember? You'll have your stupidity while she gets paid for the work she isn't doing. And don't think"
"Stagnated? What's that?"
"(...) Tell your friends I'll start teaching you all today after class and you'll only be able to leave when you all spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious backwards, hmph"
"Bless you?"
"You haven't watched Marry Poppins?"
"Who?" says the smiling kid
"We're here" Calla pulls her hand out of Elliot's grasp and stormed back in class where a round of applause welcomes her.
Once again with the praising she thought. There used to be someone who praised her to... How's Ms. Daisy doing?
Some day Calla, some day...