An unbelievable thing struck through his ears, he had one of the most difficult choices at his life. That his choice, to be a professional and take the job or lets his past blocked his way. He had few months to get over Christy and he isn't forgets her thoroughly.
Ed just stared at him and wishes there's another job that he can offer. Ed can't see him like this, miserably drunk and lonely at his apartment. He wanted to allow James to make a move, just to back at his feet again.
"Look man, I gotta go. Just think about it a little bit longer." Ed stood up and took his coat with him.
"Thanks, Ed, I'll text you when I find the answer."
James never turns his sight of the road after Ed gives him that offer, he looked intensely serious. He wanted to know what will happen if he took the job. Is it getting better and everything is fine or the other way around, he didn't sure.
He wishes could close his eyes and see the future through it. He's afraid to see her face and hear her voices again. Everything that he wanted to forget now back again, he should've to face his fear and keep walks forward.
James spent his evening staring at the people at the café and still considering taking Ed's offers. He couldn't deny that he needs money right now, and that's the only possible way to makes money quick and easy. He already knew the way to do that, but he got stuck on the other problem.
James walked back home around 8 o'clock, he stopped at the convenience store to buy his beloved cigarette and beer. He looked at his money, it couldn't afford him with his lifestyle. Back to his apartment and threw all the things into the kitchen, he wanted to scream but he couldn't felt something choked him so he couldn't scream to the world.
James checked his phone and there's a lot of messages and notifications. The review about his book and a lot of things showed up on his phone. He swiped down and nothing catches his eyes, he wanted to throw his phone to the couch but something catches his eyes.
Alice texted him and called three times in a row. James wondered, 'Does she wanted to judge my book or anything? I swear if this related to that topic I won't answer this damn girl,' He said to himself and cursing everyone who did that.
He's right, Alice texted him about the book. 'James, how are you? I heard from my sister that there's been a famous writer who gets viral lately and I wanted to know the progress of your book. Hope you alright, and you'll get on that position someday. Just keep going.'
James stunned for a second, he thought that she would text about his new book. He remembered that he didn't say his true identity when they first met. He was relieved that she doesn't recognize him as a writer.
She didn't have a single idea that James is the famous writer that had been viral lately. Alice never read a book and James very grateful about that. He's been tired of being people that see him as a writer and not as James himself.
'Thank you,' Just a small gesture that he texted to Alice. It small but that's had a lot of thought and feeling within. He felt happy just a little, there's nice when someone took care of him. That's why Christy means a lot to him.
James sat next to the window, watching the night get darker and calm down. He still considering to texted Ed after realize that his not in the best financial condition. He didn't know if he ready for it. Back to meet the girl that he loved more than everything.
He grabbed his phone and call Ed, he decided to call because he wanted to hear his voice. James wanted to know if this is the best idea. He obviously opened a can of beer before it, to make sure that he dared to do it.
"Yo, Ed what's up? It's me."
Ed shocked, "Wow, what happened man? You called me first, that's odd."
"Yeah, I wanted to know something." James hesitated to speak, Ed waited till he's ready. "This is about the job that you were talked about. Do you think it's the best idea? I mean Christy probable there too."
"Umm, how do I say this. Look James, you're growing up. Your feeling shouldn't be a problem anymore. You need money right now, and you have to face it that your book isn't paid off. I think it's the best idea for a temporary job."
James silent, he didn't know if he growing up or not. Ed got a point here when you needed money you should be professional about this and let anyone or anything break it.
"Yeah, maybe you alright. I'll try to do it, shows me the place tomorrow."
Ed almost scream at the phone, "What! Are you kidding me? Since when you listened to what I said?"
"Oh shut up, I'll catch up tomorrow. Bye!"
James hung up, he couldn't believe what he just said. He wanted to go back to the place that he hated. 'Am I out of my mind or this is what they called growing up? Being grown up and being stupid is the same, in the end, we will do anything for money.'
He threw his phone at the couch, and jump straight away to the bed. James wanted to go to his dream, a place when he could forget everything that he had done today. Thinking about life is drag him crazy. 'Life is so ironic. When you wanted to be happy you should be done something that makes you unhappy. Is it just me or everything getting crazier out there?'
James couldn't get sleep until midnight because of his thought. Is the first time in his life he felt uneasy and anxious. He wanted to know what happened tomorrow and he thought about an uncertain situation. He lost his confidence in life, he's afraid when he wanted to get back to the top somebody will kick him down. James is filled with fear that night.