Empty rooms always have the darkest hues. Take a step forward or go back, what else matters? The result will sooner or later lead us to the same destination: death.
Where there is no fixed thing, will it be necessary to bet everything for a momentary happiness that later will bring repentance?
School is one of the worst places you can go. It is a prison with unfair rules, which limit your actions, repressing your thoughts. If you want to be heard, one of the requirements is to be popular so that they can engage in dialogue with you, or worse, you must be flashy and false so that your colleagues notice you.
Everyone knows it, if you want to escape from it you must go against the current. In order not to fall into that mistake, I will be a boy who does not care if people notice his presence or not, it will be enough to know myself and be aware of my actions. Someone worthy of admiration for ghosts, without needing any other person to be happy.
A contemplative joy where it is inevitable to smile for not belonging to such an unpleasant group.
My name is Inoue Tsutomu, I'm 18 years old and I'm in third grade in high school, everyone knows me for being the one who sits in the back by the window to admire the landscape, something quite relaxing for every human being. Resting like that is a gift while I do school activities.
Being a student is really tedious, I would rather stay at home, laying on my futon while I install a video game that will serve to entertain me later. Or cook something delicious that I will end up enjoying and sharing with my sister. Even the idea of working doesn't sound too bad, any option is nice, except spending it surrounded by people who speak to you for their own benefit.
My mind is kept with its full ingenuity, I feel the need to express my ideas although in the end I can only feel that it is absurd when others flatter the first of the class, whom they put on a pedestal; there is no place in the world for fairness. If you want to go far and be "recognized" you must also go through many injustices, in that case, what is the point of handling such cumbersome tools if it is something ephemeral?
The way they are applauded for both their successes and mistakes is impressive. But the failures of an insignificant boy are always remarked ad nauseam. If I analyze my situation, I am a person who walks aimlessly, I do not have a goal, I stay in a static hole and I become a human scum that lives by spending its time on useless things. That made it clear to me after seeing that it is the second consecutive year in which my colleagues forget my birthday.
For me it is not such a special date, however, being part of the class, it is expected that at least someone will come to give a congratulation. On the contrary, women and men found themselves surrounding the worst of all students: Takayama Kishō. Friendly, kind, smiling every day and with the position of student council president. It was not a great surprise, they brought him presents every day.
So irritating to watch.
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It was time to leave, all the students retired to their respective homes. I tried to do the same, I would run home to rest and review the notes I made during class, nothing better than giving feedback after a comfortable nap, preparing myself to be productive at night.
By chance of fate that was not possible, I tried to cross the door and get rid of everything related to school slavery and the punishments of living with the rest of society, but that irritating boy was ahead of me, forbidding me to go any further.
"Would you give me permission? I'm trying to go home". I mentioned in a curt tone, letting him know that I longed to retire as soon as possible.
"It'll take a few minutes, okay?"
Why? I did not break any rules, why was the arrest? No that was not the important thing, why was she looking for something among her things?
In the blink of an eye, Kishō took out a small box, handing it over to me with great care, still smiling.
"Is for you." I continue speaking with that extremely masculine voice that did not finish convincing me; It was Kishō, the boy I hated, or so I wanted to believe ."I know that today is your birthday, I wanted to give you a little detail, Tsutomu."
"I thank you," I replied angrily, "but I don't want to receive what other people gave you."
"You are completely wrong!" I made that gift, I even wrote you something in a letter that I left you.
"And why do you think I'm going to believe you?"
Apparently she was not answering in a very pleasant way, because her reaction was to be perplexed by my question, until she decided to speak, showing a serious face:
"You always walk through the corridors, looking at the rest with indifference and smiling from time to time, however, when you think that nobody is paying attention to you, in your eyes a slight change is perceived when I'm around. I tried to find out more about you. As president of the student council I got the information easily, so I know that we met on the same day."
"Doesn't that make you a stalker?" I questioned.
"Sorry, it might be interpreted that way." Although I couldn't help but get closer, I realize you're not smiling inside, that worries me. I decided to give you a detail so that you understand that I want to have something with you; I don't want us to get along, you don't deserve to be alone. You are a good person, you should smile.
"Excuse me, today is your birthday and I was the only one who did not buy you a present, perfect sir," I replied with a tone of derision towards the one with long strands. I know everyone loves you, I will just say that I will not be part of your fan club. I appreciate the detail, but I won't be behind you, sighing like all those hypocrites.
He should say it. Although his honest way was somewhat aggressive, he wanted to make it clear that he hated following those crowds where they wanted to stab each other in the back.
"Tsutomu, read what the letter says, please." I will not stop you anymore, I hope you enjoy the gift.
Without adding anything else, he turned and continued toward his destination.
What had that been? On very few occasions did I get a chance to speak with him and when the opportunity arose, we discussed nothing but school matters.
Before heading home, I opened the box and took out the envelope to read the letter:
"Dear Tsutomu:
My purpose is to write something short and direct, with which you can understand my true intentions.
Lately, as a lot of people surround me like never before, I have witnessed in you a feeling similar to resignation. I can't stand idly by before it, so I wanted to know more about you. Among so many things, I noticed that your way of being is friendly, and taking advantage of the opportunity to express my thoughts to you, I will add that I have found uniqueness in you.
It sounds like my life is based on stalking you, although that has led me to invite you. Please, let's spend the break on the roof tomorrow. Only then can we get to know each other properly.
Also, I wanted to mention that you are currently the only one who knows my birthday. It is somewhat curious, since that will be a point to be discussed tomorrow. Don't mention anything about it, it's a secret.
I will wait for you.
Sincerely:
Your dear and loyal friend, Kishō. "
Like a great wave of trouble, each word hit my face until I was completely stunned and shocked. Another present that I noticed inside the box appeared to be a luscious and adorable cake for one person. Judging by some details, like a piece of chocolate with his name on it, it showed that there was no lie in his words.
On top of that, he had to be careful from moving to keeping it intact during classes without drawing the attention of the crowd around him.Why did Kishō come to attack like that? I needed answers, instead, I asked myself more questions.