It was the first time that I attended classes eager to discover an answer as if by doing so I was going to obtain a reason to exist; no matter how much he thought about it, it was absurd to react that way. Even at my desk I felt the need to look at Kishō, wishing that this meeting would happen as soon as possible, however, as if his harassment helped him to read my mind, the one with the long hair stood in front of me, moving away from the blackboard by first time. In that place was Masaomi Banri, the vice president of the student council, who showed confusion as he gave up his seat.
Once seated, Kishō turned to look at me, he did so with a really maddening smile for my liking, as if he expected me to speak first. I shrugged and decided to back off a bit.
What was I thinking? No, I would never think of speaking to him, why did I have to take the first step? Going a little further would make you see that my interest is greater, when it is the opposite. It is true, that was the reason for my anxiety, I hoped to hear it and finish with that topic as soon as possible.
Did I really mistake my anxiety for emotion? If I thought about it carefully, regardless of the fact that at night I kept busy working hard, I managed to wake up animated for the first time, was he infecting me with his false happiness? Please no...
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Immediately after the bell rang for recess, I went to the roof as requested in the letter, if I wanted to deal with a matter of that kind, it would be best to hurry to ask him to leave once and for all.
As always, when I was about to say the first word, he jumped on me to embrace me with emotion that not only prevented a proper talk, but ended up making me fall. Apparently he was not considering my short stature and weakness, as he kept putting all his weight on top. I began to feel a sweet fragrance emanating from it, something similar to the essence of vanilla that captivated by the softness of the aroma, painting a landscape comparable to sunset, all in a beautiful fantasy; I loved that smell, it brought back good memories.
"Tsutomu, I'm glad you're here." He mentioned aloud as he stood up and held out a hand to support me. "That means you really want to get to know me, right? I am happy as you cannot imagine."
I wanted to downplay everything he was saying, although it was impossible not to realize that this boy was exuding purity. It had to be direct, prolonging things could result in something negative.
"Actually, I want to ask you a few things."
When I tried to get up, I wanted to look at his eyes, but that look prevented me, they were a dark iris and nothing else, why was it that they made me make such a long pause and a gesture so normal for me?
"Ask? Ahead."
"Why the harassment? I understand that you want us to be friends, although it is strange to me that you have reached such a degree, I am insignificant, what do you want from me?"
"Which is what I want? If I respond to it, are you going to react badly?"
"Don't worry, I want to know the truth."
"I love you, is there something wrong with that?"
What was he talking about? I couldn't get another word out after that. It was a bombardment that blew my mind.
Maybe because of what he said, or because of the way he mentioned it, something had affected me, leaving my heart racing. If I said I was agitated from sleeping little, I would be hiding something else. That was devastating in a way, I chose a lousy question, although I couldn't think of a different one to help dispel my doubts.
Kishō was only playing with me, he understood the weight of his words and dared to enunciate a set of words in such order that it became enveloping. Without further ado, I screamed before running out of the place, hoping not to continue with that dialogue.
"For me it is! You come out of nowhere to leave me a letter in which you say that you are harassing me, you show a strange persistence and on top of that you hug me as if you've known me forever, who wouldn't feel confusion? I need you to understand, you're going too fast, Kishō."
What a surprise! I managed to be honest and without thinking about the matter. The satisfaction increased with each passing second, maybe I should have tried to be honest from the beginning.
Fortunately, I had some time left, enough to go back to the cafeteria and buy food that would satisfy my hunger. I walked through the hallways, trying to pick up my pace and be on time.
Maybe I was wrong at the beginning, I was not a bit lucky. I saw it with my own eyes. The cafeteria no longer had anything for sale, I was too late.
As if the situation couldn't be worse, behind me appeared Japan's number one stalker, smiling as if his life depended on it.
"Why are you follow me?"
"You said I'm going too fast, I'll try to slow down." That doesn't mean it's any further, does it?
"That's not an excuse, Kishō!"
"For me it is, I feel comfortable next to you. I will try my best so that you don't feel uncomfortable."
Again with the same, with those words so direct and sincere. I tried to look away, that way it would make it less obvious that Kishō was causing the redness on my cheeks.
A strange sound flooded me with grief, my stomach sent signals to receive food, however, there was nothing nearby, how would I survive such a sudden situation?
"Tsutomu, I made you something," said the jet "I figured we were going to linger on the conversation, so I brought food for both of us."
Kishō took a seat and began to discover the bento. He set the lid on one side and pulled out the chopsticks to hold a bit and raise his hand for my answer. I had no choice but to accept it.
Introducing the food was the best thing that could happen, although it was something simple, I experienced happiness because of how wonderful it tasted. Not only was he an attractive guy with a caring personality and good grades, he also managed to cook like a professional.
"You are an angel," I mentioned.
I took a seat in front of him and waited so I could consume some more. It was a matter of seconds to notice that that person was with a slight blush, was it for calling him "angel"?
That expression made my doubts dissipate, I had never met a boy as attractive and tender as Kishō.
Wait a minute, what was he thinking? No, I did not perceive it that way. Oh, maybe a little...
"You really are amazing," I said with a cheerful expression. "I really appreciate this detail."
"Do you think I'm amazing?"
For the first time, my stalker gestured with a kind of mix between grief and insecurity, so I tried to find out a little more about it.
"Of course. Does it cause you discomfort when I say that to you?"
"Not at all," he mused for a few seconds as he searched for an answer, after finding it, he looked at me in a different way, more seriously. I am happy about it. I was afraid I couldn't be enough for you, or that you would end up hating me. I can't believe I'm talking to you, it's all a dream...
Stop, please, you complicate things...
He felt the need to interrupt him and make it clear that it was not a dream. Deep down, he kept having those thoughts whose origin he did not know. Why couldn't I answer calmly without worrying about it? What was happening?
"You should just be yourself. If you want to achieve something and worry too much about it, you increase the probability of failure. Just see it as a goal, not a fear. I think my favorite writer would say something like that."
"Maybe your favorite author would say it, but right now it's just you ... It's a beautiful thought. I really admire you, Tsutomu."
Why do you say it that way? I don't want to doubt what I feel right now!
My vision suddenly became somewhat blurred, the whole place was spinning and I could not do more than put a hand to my face to cover it. A loud buzzing stunned me, as well as putting a painful pressure on my head.
It lasted a few seconds, the attempt to inhale and exhale consecutively helped to return to normal. However, when I removed my left hand from my face, I found Kishō quite close with a deep and different look than usual, as if trying to discover what was happening.
"Are you feeling bad, Tsutomu?"
It was a joke, right? It could be a rejection of his words, and he decided to assume that he was upset. Wow, I wasn't surprised.
"Don't worry, I was thinking what you said, I think you express yourself very sweetly."
"Oh..."
"What happens?"
"I think you're lying to me, Tsutomu."
There was no escape, how could I convince him? Wait a minute, what if I was honest with him?
I dropped my eyelids for a few seconds. Opening them, I extended my right hand to bring it up to the other's uniform and hold onto Kishō. I applied force to draw him to me fast enough to allow me to steal a kiss from his lips; act that was supposed to last a few seconds and ended up spreading.
When I walked away, I commented on it simultaneously as I got up from the chair.
"I wasn't lying to you, so give me some space, it's your fault I feel this way."
Enough, enough, enough! Inoue Tsutomu, what are you saying ?! Don't be too quick to jump to conclusions about your own feelings!
Unfortunately, I acted hastily so that he would not notice the discomfort, although I let that enigmatic feeling guide me to decide.
"Tsutomu..."
The harsh reality could hurt him, so I fled without explanation. I couldn't let him look at me with a completely flushed face. Never, that would be terrible.
I just didn't want to face him, it didn't seem true that Kishō was after me and I responded in that way...