Breathless. That's all I remembered feeling. Agony coursing through my lungs as I spluttered around in the depths of the river. Every breath in taking substantial amounts of water with it, blocking my airways. Becoming very quickly lightheaded and seeing dark spots beginning to cloud my vision.
I tried to swim up but my muscles were exhausted. They'd given up. They'd already sealed my fate before I had any kind of chance to change it.
I shut my eyes.
But then somebody was grabbing my arm, forceful fingers digging into it and dragging my limp body upwards, to the surface. Just as my eyes were fluttering closed, I managed to catch a glimpse of the stars above my head.
And then everything went black.
•••
"She's awake, look." Somebody whispered, an eagerness in their voice.
They were right, however I felt everything but awake.
My head felt like somebody had hit it against concrete over and over, and every breath I took sent a red-hot streak of fire across my chest.
But worst of all, I felt so weak. I'd never felt weaker than I did in that moment.
I didn't even have the strength to save myself, somebody else had to do it for me. And that disgusted me.
"Oh, god." I groaned, attempting to lift my head and watching as the blurry faces became people.
"Luke," I heard a voice say, "She's awake."
And then the warm hand around my wrist was back again, and Lucas was looking at me with admiration in his eyes.
"How are you alive?" He whispered, "I watched you sink to the bottom trying to fight off whatever was following us."
Confusion filled my head. I stared at Lucas with a perplexed look. "Wait, it wasn't you that pulled me out? Any of you?"
A chorus of shaking heads and denial in return.
I let my head fall back down on the mattress I found myself lying on and frowned.
"Elle, I know you're in pain but we're not safe here. Do you think you're strong enough to walk?"
I could walk. But strength wasn't in the question. Because god I felt so feeble, pathetic.
I wanted to be the one pulling someone out of the water, and I wanted to talk to whoever was behind it but they were nowhere to be found.
So, I refused Lucas's arm when he offered it me, and I slowly started to walk forwards, attempting to figure out my surroundings.
Really, it was a pity plea. I was out of breath and a little lightheaded but overall, I was fine. I felt sorry for myself for how low I was, how miserable I felt and instead I took advantage of their consolation, and I took their pity because I didn't want to face the truth just yet.
•••
We walked in the opposite direction to the one Lucas and I had come from, which in a way was some relief. The knowledge that I didn't have to return to the very entity I was running from the only kind of reassurance I had to keep moving with. But it was enough.
Thankfully, we didn't go far. Realistically I wouldn't have made it far but a few hours later we were camped up in yet another abandoned building, laying out blankets and sharing our pillows between each-other.
Community at its finest, something I'd never really had the pleasure of being part of. Much preferred over the selfishness I'd had the misfortune of witnessing my entire life.
I'd just about settled down, set out a small blanket in the corner with a fluffy brown cushion somebody had grabbed for me and was preparing to get some sleep when I heard a voice behind me.
"Kieran, where have you been?"
I peered up from playing with the cotton on the blanket and found myself staring into two grey eyes.
Two grey eyes that were looking at me, two grey eyes I recognised.
"Roof boy. Glad to see you're alive." I said, strangely confidently.
"And the same for you. Can't say it was pleasant having to drag you out of that river."
For the second time in his presence, my mouth dropped open.
"It was you?"